Johanna Stein is the author of “How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane
Now, Johanna’s come out with a new video called “Momhead”, which illustrates all the ways her four-year-old insults her throughout the day.
Actually, I think it’s just throughout the morning, so by my calculations (12 insults in one hour X 24 hours), that would be 288 insults a day.
Ouch.
Especially when your kid says things like “your tummy looks like a bagel”.
Better than a tire though, right?
Enjoy.
What’s the most insulting thing your kid has ever said to you?
I picked up my little one from my mother-in-law’s house one day after work and she ran up to me excitedly and said, “Hey Mommy, its you!” What was she holding? Princess Fiona (the green one, mind you). I still wonder who came up with that resemblance, her or my mother-in-law.
My 3YO is really into the Shrek movies. Everytime the dragon comes on, she says it’s her sister (she has a little brother). This morning we were talking about when mommy & daddy got married (she saw a picture). She said, “You got married and looked like Fiona.” Yes, hunny, I did.
I made the biggest effort in ages to do my make up. My 2 year old said, “Mummy’s face is yucky.”
THANKS!
My daughter is very proud of having blue eyes like her dad. She always says my brown eyes are pretty like Princess Belle. One day in a fit of rage she yelled, “Mommy, you have poo poo eyes!” She was not even there yet.
mine doesnt talk yet but I have a feeling he will have some good ones growing up.
That is brilliant.
6 days after giving birth, my almost 3-year old said, “mommy you don’t have a baby in your tummy anymore. Why is your tummy still so big?” Thanks kid.
Mine still say that to me, and my youngest is three!
my 3 yo grabbed my arm, raised it, pointed at my armpit and laughed his lil ass off. I wanted to cry.
My son walked into my room while I was getting dressed, looked at my stomach and said “Oh no, Mommy! What happened to your belly?” while poking my stretch marks. I told him “You happened to my belly.”
Some of those things are funny, kid-isms and just the darndest things that children say. Some of those things are flat out disrespectful. I have a 7 year old daughter. I am a single mom (24/7/365 it’s just US) so my daughter and I have a unique bond and we are a good mix of best friends, authority figure vs subordinate, partners in crime and loving mom and daughter. I often let her get away with things I possibly shouldn’t due to our close knit in-this-life-togetherness as well as the spark in her eye and my cautiousness of putting it out. So I am saying I totally get it. However, if my daughter ever told me (even at 4) that she would tell me all the things I did wrong today when we got home, it would be time to pull the car over and bust that butt. That is blatant disrespect, undermining, devaluing and rude. I am 28 years old and if I said that to my father TODAY he would probably slap me in the face. There are boundaries and I can’t believe this woman is publicizing, therefore proud of the bully tendencies her child is developing.
Joey, your father would probably slap you in the face? Who is the bully again? Wow.
I don’t think reprimanding your children is bullying. I doubt he would now but he would certainly feel like it. Though at my age I wouldn’t disrespect him. It wasn’t often…maybe a handful of times in my whole life, but yes, when I was a too-big-for-my-britches smart alec or downright disrespectful to my parents, I got slapped. I learned respect, I never walked all over or insulted my parents and I certainly never told them I would go over a list of things they had done wrong. I don’t think that is bullying…I think thats disciplining your children.
My older son follows me around hitting my tush saying “big butt, big butt, big butt” really fast and in a whisper. Then my younger son just calls me “big fat baby’ or “big fat” or just “big”….when i write it out it sounds so mean but it definitely makes me laugh. Probably should stop it soon!
“Mom, why are you so bad at everything” said my 3 yr old one shiny day 🙂
Top three insults from my kid:
1) In the morning, right when I woke up: “Mom, you smell bad.”
2) When I was getting dressed, she pointed at my belly and scrunched up her face: “Ewwwwww!”
3) Looking at me with big innocent eyes while I was putting on a bathing suit: “If you don’t have a baby in your belly, why is it big?”
Losing my confidence, one day at a time, thanks to a preschooler.
While taking a bath with my 4 year old, “Ugh! Mom – don’t get out. You take all the water with you!!!”
When I was pregnant with my second child – my 3 yr old said to me “Mom, why doesn’t your butt fit in your underwear?”
Needless to say I went to Target and bought bigger underwear the same day…
My 6 year old son asked, “Is your tummy REAL fat or just pretend fat?” Um…let’s say pretend fat until you realize otherwise.
When I was little, my mom dyed her hair blonde every few weeks. She has dark blonde hair so the lighter blonde wasn’t really that much different from her regular hair color. One time, she dyed her hair just a little bit of a lighter blonde and when she came home I looked at her, began crying and screamed in horror “MOMMY’S A WITCH!! MOMMY’S A WITCH!! GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!” and I hid in the fireplace cover until my dad made me come out and apologize.
Can I simply just say what a comfort to discover an individual who really understands what they’re
talking about on the web. You actually understand how to bring an issue to light and make it
important. A lot more people really need to read this and understand this side of the story.
I can’t believe you are not more popular because you surely possess the gift.