The Wiles family brought in the New Year at my friend Emily’s apartment, as we pretty much do every year. All the adults eat and drink in the kitchen and living room, while we stick the kids in the guest room with a movie and enough snacks to hopefully keep them busy until midnight.
It’s funny. In previous years, at the same party, passing the time until midnight seemed like an eternity. We’d take turns breastfeeding in the master bedroom, everyone trying and failing to put the kids down in numerous portable cribs so the adults could bring in the new year on our own. Rarely were we all in the same room at once and never was a there a moment when someone’s kid wasn’t crying. We barely finished a glass of champagne, much less a bottle.
This year, time ticked by pretty quickly and uneventfully. The kids happily watched Trolls (a neighbor loaned us a screener) and only one kid passed out before midnight.
Not mine, obviously. Mine wouldn’t go to sleep voluntarily if you paid them in Shopkins. Here’s Harlow and her friend Giles looking like pretty much every couple waiting for the ball to drop.
My friends always organize some sort of family talent show which requires everyone to show up prepared with an act. Last year, everyone had to bring a magic trick. This year, each family had to perform a song. Mike and Mazzy informed me that they were both opting out but once the other families started performing, I could tell Harlow’s interest was piqued. I ended up getting her to dance to Dark Horse (her favorite) by telling her that I would follow her lead and dance alongside her. If you caught it on Snapchat or Instagram Stories, I am sure you were wowed by Harlow’s real time choreography and our semi-synchronized moves. Maybe I’ll post it one of these days for posterity’s sake.
Mazzy looked especially grown up at the party and spent a lot of the time sitting with the adults at the kitchen counter. She was peeved that Emily’s son Charlie (her oldest friend, but not someone she sees that often) was not playing with her as much as she would have liked. I felt like it was the beginning of a new boy/girl relationship for them and all the awkwardness that comes with it.
I asked Mazzy who she wanted to kiss at midnight and she said me. I told her, I felt the same. Sorry, Mike.
In the days that followed, we did a lot of nothing. We hung out in our pajamas, introduced the kids to the Brady Bunch and played with a lot of the toys we got over the holidays. Slinkies, for what it’s worth, do not work nearly as well as they did when we were kids. We could not make that stupid thing go down the stairs. “Bop It” however, was an instant hit.
I also took some time to make a “Top Nine” on Instagram since that has become the new way to end the year on social media. It’s a site that takes all of your top performing pics and puts them in a neat little grid. Unfortunately, as much as I love Instagram, the pics that get the most “likes” and what’s most important to me don’t always line up. My official “Top Nine” is basically Harlow’s greatest hits with Hillary Clinton in the center.
So I made my own top nine. These are the photos that represent my favorite things in 2016— our travels, my book, the growing relationship between my girls and my entire family.
Of course, I had to use a Throwback Thursday photo of our wedding (bottom left) because Mike gets more and more camera shy every year. I think it’s because he doesn’t know if I’m snapchatting or just taking an old fashioned photo since it is all done from the same device. Understandable.
Currently, my social feeds are filled with lots of big announcements and plans for 2017. New babies, big moves, fresh starts, etc. I’ve got no big news for 2017. No baby on the way, no second book in the works, no announcements of things to come. Last year, personally and professionally was pretty good and I just want more of the same. Of course, the country is going to shit and women’s rights are about to be flushed down the toilet, but at least I’ll probably get a small business tax cut?
It’s hard to write a post about the future without a “Political Feelings Update,” so here goes…
I haven’t talked about Trump in awhile because I’m an optimist and digesting the news these days hurts my heart and messes with my brain. But I agree with the people who say that it’s important not to normalize his presidency. So I keep reading and I let the horror of the next four years (hopefully) sink in whether I mention it or not. I’m still trying to figure out how to proceed in the new year. What to write about, how to help and where to focus my energy. And while I used to be open to views from the other side, that window is closing. I think he is a horrible man, he has appointed horrible people and the outlook is grim. I think the people who will benefit from whatever changes he makes to the economy are the people who need it the least. I think Trump will push his economic agenda and give little thought to the damage his party intends to inflict socially. I don’t pretend to understand all of the international implications but I don’t trust Trump’s motives and I don’t think he understands the implications of his actions either. My hope is that some of the people who voted for him and some of the people who didn’t vote at all are also beginning to understand why he is so dangerous so we can fight against what is happening to this country together. How we will do that, I have no idea.
Alright. Got that off my chest. Anybody still with me?
Then let’s do a “Mike’s Facial Hair” update. Many of you have been asking about the sudden appearance of a beard. I might not have photo evidence but it did appear on Snapchat. For the record, Mike always grows out a beard around the holidays. I like it and always try to get him to keep it but he usually shaves right before he goes back to work. When I left the apartment this morning to take Mazzy to school, Mike’s beard was still there. I guess I will find out later today if he shaved before he left the house.
How about a “Mean Moms at Gymnastics” update? Just so you know, there are Mean Dads too. Yesterday, one of them shoved a chair with a jacket on it in front of me while I attempted to take a picture of Mazzy while standing in a clear spot by the railing. He was sitting next to the woman I called out in my last post on the subject, which seemed appropriate. I guess there is a protocol as to who is allowed to have a good vantage point to see their kids that I don’t understand. Last time, I got scolded for trying to make room for my chair. This time, there was clearly room but that wasn’t good enough either. I HATE THEM ALL.
Now for a “Binge Watching” update! Remember when I used to stay up all night writing? That time has been replaced with television binge watching. It started this summer with all four seasons of Orange is the New Black. Then I crowdsourced good TV options on Snapchat and ended up watching all of Wentworth, Stranger Things and Black Mirror. The Affair and Homeland are both back on Showtime which I am thrilled about but also not loving so far. The Affair is getting increasingly bleak and the first episode of Homeland was pretty depressing too. Plus, I feel like the choice of a female president on Homeland was made when they thought we’d be welcoming Hillary to the presidency this year. And that female president is Heather Dunbar who ran against Frank Underwood in House of Cards last season which was made my brain jump the Netflix Showtime continuum and wonder if I had lost my mind for a second. I’m thinking about starting OA next. Any other suggestions?
Here’s an @Insta2yearold update. I think I might start posting more pics of Harlow. I’m getting a little tired of her perspective all the time. I mean, how many pics can you take of a waffle and come up with something original to say? As for @PinkinNYC, Mazzy just broke the news to me that her new favorite color is no longer pink. She prefers purple and turquoise. I have no idea what to do with this new knowledge. Maybe I’ll turn it into a rainbow feed.
In other Instagram news, I’ve been posting a lot more to my Instagram stories. I’ve also been dabbling a bit with Instagram Live which feels way less frightening than Facebook Live for some reason. Mostly, I’ve been using it for Q&A’s although I did have one fabulous fuck up where I started a late night Live Q&A on @averageparentproblems and then two minutes in, there was a large thump followed by ear-piercing crying. Harlow fell out of her bed. I said I had to go tend to my children and thought I clicked end, but apparently Instagram Live makes that a two-step process and I basically live streamed the whole thing. I mean, there was nothing to see (the phone was turned over), but you could hear Harlow crying up a storm, me getting a band aid, Mazzy admonishing her for sleeping too close to the edge of the bed, etc. My friend who was on the live stream said that comments kept coming in the whole time, mainly from people saying they were witnessing an #averageparentproblem in real time. So I guess, if anything, my failed attempt at going LIVE after I thought the kids were asleep was very ON BRAND.
My heart still belongs to Snapchat though.
Here’s to all great things for everyone in 2017! Even if it’s not technically “big” news. Even if it doesn’t get a lot of “likes.” Even if you live stream it by accident. Even if there’s a twitter-obsessed reality star in the White House.
We’re all gonna be okay.
I hope.
Great work Ilana! Keep the posts coming. I love every word of what you wrote eventhough it doesn’t always contain big news announcements or contests to enter. Real life is OK to just plain be. Thanks!
As a fellow working mom, I really enjoy and appreciate your posts and emails. My kids are older now, 11 and 13, but I fondly remember the days when they were like Mazzy and Harlow. Those awful parents at gymnastics don’t get any better! In fact, they just get worse and their kids mimic their awful behavior. Thank you for your candor about the current state of politics. I think a lot of us are thinking the same, you just put it into words for us!
I hope too, Iliana. I hope too.
Happy New Year! Fuck those parents at gymnastics. Cant stand people like that- like they aren’t trying to get pictures of their own kids. Also loved the Trump rant. Spot on.
Kate
http://www.mwdgaf.com
Love the updates! While I normally welcome the new year and the clean slate that comes with it, I dread this new year. I’m fearful for what it brings for women, the LGBT community, immigrants, my paycheck…everything. So I very much appreciate your opinion and completely agree.
Loved this post, and the realism you exude. Also, you have GOT to watch The Good Wife. It’s filmed in NYC, so the acting is immediately 1000% better than those filmed elsewhere.
Adam and I just started Narcos. Oh Em Gee. I’m OBSESSED. Holy Cow. Going to watch more now. GREAT POST. BYE!
I was dying through that last bit, about going LIVE. How did I miss this? The ‘on brand’ for that account was perfect. Love that people embraced/appreciated it. And, loved the “just checking in” vibe from this post. (Plus. The politic bits.) Happy New Year, Ilana + family!
I loved every word of this post Ilana. Especially the political section. But it all felt intimate and sentimental somehow. Thanks ❤️ (And f*ck those horrible gymnastics people)
Loved this update. Thank you for continuing to speak up on politics and our president elect. Also when I saw your Snapchat of going to gymnastics, I immediately wondered if the mean lady would be there!
happy new remarkably average year!
This is one of my most favorite things you’ve ever written and it reminds me why I started reading so long ago. I love to hear your **real** stories. I am with you 10,000,000% and then some as our country moves forward into this scary new year.
Thanks for not shying away from the ugly political climate… so many of us are feeling the same.
I have so much respect for you and the way you turned parenting, humor, urban living, and other aspects of your life into a website, book, and brand. I have followed you on FB for a couple of years (the first post I read was about your adventures when purchasing a knock-off, $1,000 stroller) and will continue to follow you.
Regarding politics, I think you need to ask yourself a few questions: 1) what is the purpose of mommy shorts? is it a personal blog or a business? and 2) if it is a business, what is your brand? does political commentary fit into it? and 3) who are your followers? is it possible that you THINK you know your followers, but that you actually live in an echo chamber? I think you might be surprised to know that you have followers like me: a semi-urban mom of 3 (one with special needs), CPA, former mid-westerner, now southerner, and Trump voter. Yes, I am an urban, upper-middle class, educated mother who voted for Trump.
So, is this website personal to you? Is it just for you and your friends and family? Or is it a business and brand? If it’s a business, is politics part of that business?
If I were your adviser, as a business woman myself, I would say that you’ve moved past the point of a personal blog and that this is a business and your political views don’t fit into the brand. Your first political post kind of jarred me and felt out of place. But, maybe you feel that expressing those feelings here humanizes you? I’m not sure. I follow some other blogs (home design, etc.) that are very personal, but where the author has explicitly stated that s/he does not plan to comment on world events, politics, etc., because s/he wants the blog to stay true to the subject matter. Perhaps that would work for you? Or maybe that’s not your goal. I think you should decide what your strategy will be and be confident in that decision.
I wish you the best in 2017!
A nicely worded post. But what makes you think she hasn’t? She’s already talked about this.
It is nice to hear someone say they have a differing political view than this post and all the other comments. I love the MommyShorts blog and completely respect Ilana’s opinion but I do want Ilana and this community to know there are others that follow this site that disagree but continue to respect the opinions of others unlike so many of the comments I hear about republicans. Wishing you a blessed 2017, and maybe we should give our president-elect a chance and see what can happen.
Thank you for continuing to follow me despite our different views and for this comment, which is both respectful and thought-provoking. I think my blog is both personal and a business. In the past, I have shied away from politics because I wanted my blog to be fun and entertaining and as universally appealing to parents as possible. But I am always truthful and honest. I don’t like to sugarcoat things, even when I am trying to find a way to make them funny. What happened with this recent election is that I did not feel like being funny or like talking about parenting as usual was honest. I don’t have other regular writers. All this content comes from me. So I was faced with a dilemma- do I stop posting? do I continue writing and pretend this isn’t affecting me? or do I write about what is truly going on in my head? I decided to write from the heart because that’s what I have always done. I did despite the fact that I knew I would lose some people. But I don’t think it was bad for business. I think it gives people a more complete picture of who I am and lets them know I am a real person who thinks about more than just my children. I think for every person it alienated, it probably helped another relate to me that much more. When things are happening in the news, like when gay marriage was supported by the Supreme Court, I found myself looking at how all the brands were acknowledging the news. A lot of brands were posting creative ways of showing their support, even though I’m sure there were a lot of customers who swore off those brands as a result. But it made me like those brands that much more. It also made me take note of the brands that didn’t acknowledge it. In the end, I thought not acknowledging it made an even bigger statement and it made me like those brands a little bit less. I have to think that ignoring the results of the election and pretending it didn’t affect me would have made some question my authenticity, because how could it not be on my mind? I decided it was cowardly not to voice my opinion and once I did, I felt more free to write my regular content again. I guess what I’m saying is— making it known what you stand for is not necessarily bad for business even if it might lose you a few customers.
I completely agree, how can you not talk about it when it is going to affect all of us! This is how more women are going to move into political positions and have our voices heard. And what better outlet than a parenting website to discuss the future of our children and our nation.
This was a great and very real post. I’ve been following you for a few years and I’m so glad you are not afraid to say what you think and feel. I too worry about the future to come, but like everyone else I will move forward and hopefully we will all be okay. Wishing you and your family a very happy new year!
Whether Mommyshorts is more of a business now or not, it is still based off of your life, your family and you should use it as you see fit. I, for one, love your posts, they are real, they are honest and they are from the heart. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing your life, your thoughts, and your family with all of us.
I read this post yesterday, and I came back today to comment because I wanted to thank you for your brave, bold words on President-Elect Trump. I know, as someone who makes a living from their blog, that it must be hard to be bold in your statements about him. But you’re right… it is necessary. And it takes big guts. I appreciated the thoughtful comments from others who may disagree. To those folks, I have some tough questions about how they can look past ALL the things Donald Trump has proven himself to be and support him nonetheless.
In an effort to not normalize this, we will all need to be more involved, dig in deeper, and use our voices more, not less. Thank you for setting a great example.
I’ve always loved your account and following your family. During/after the election, I loved and respected you even more. It takes a lot for a blogger to come forth with their political opinions but it needs to be said. I agree that he is an ugly hearted man and has opened this disgusting can of worms for this country. I also don’t know what the hell we’re going to do but we have to keep fighting! We cannot give up or normalize any of this for sure.
Keep on keeping on with everything you’re doing, please. Just know that your words , whether people agree or not, are brilliant and will definitely make people think.
Also, love watching the girls grow! I started following two summers ago when I was pregnant with my first and felt like a complete shit show.
So I guess thanks for being a badass, honest, and a fun mom.
I love your blog! Personally, I would love to see more content that is computer accessible, and less that is only mobile device acceptable. Snapchat doesn’t have a way to view content without an account like Instagram does; Instagram doesn’t have a way to view stories without an account, and you can’t create an account on a computer, only a mobile device. I’d love to see all the content on Instagram, You Tube, and the blog, but that’s just my personal view of course!
Great job and keep up the amazing work!
In 2017 one thing I would LOVE LOVE LOVE is for you breakdown and explain how you store your photos. How you keep them safe, organized, and going back to view ones that may be on a hard drive. Or whatever you do, what products you trust, what apps you use, etc. I have so many photos and am having trouble placing my photos neatly and backing them up and not just a mess on my Mac. There are so many photos storing options I think it would be awesome to read how you do it!
Wishing you and your family a healthy happy and prosperous 2017! Love your blog!
Per newsletter, posting about something I’d like to see in 2017– a team up with Luvs re: their second time Mom campaign. But even if they aren’t receptive, just a post about and soliciting from readers. What do we do differently 2+ kids in. Happy New Year!!
Would love an article on the apps that your girls enjoy playing with!
I always love infographics and charts that you put together. My engineering brain loves them