Welcome to the Evil Baby Glare-Off 2014!
For those of you unfamiliar, this is where the devil’s children come to compete for their own special place in hell. There are 32 evil babies competing for the crown. It’s a crown of thorns dripping with the blood of their last babysitter, OBVIOUSLY.
Today we will be narrowing that pool by HALF.
What are they competing for?
Bragging rights mainly. But also the chance to disguise their demonic tendencies in adorable clothing from Little Hip Squeaks, Ladida Boutique and Freshly Picked. I am also throwing in a copy of the NY Times best-selling book “I Heart My Little A-Holes” so the winner’s poor parents can learn to love their hell-raiser despite an incurable case of Stink Eye. The winner will also receive a Mommy Shorts Mug and a framed Evil Baby Glare-Off tournament poster (see below), which I fully expect to make an appearance at their wedding.
That’s if anyone dares to marry the devil, of course.
Before we get started, here are the basic rules:
1) Who moves on to the next round will be determined by reader vote. The poll is set up so you can only vote once per pair. Each day this week, the pool will narrow until we are down to the final two on Friday. Winner will be announced on Monday, October 27th.
2) Each day of the contest, there will be a giveaway. All giveaways are open to everybody, even if you do not have a child competing in the contest, as long as you are a Mommy Shorts Facebook Fan. Today, I am giving away a copy of “I Heart My Little A-Holes” by Karen Alpert. See details at the bottom of the post.
Alright. VOTING STARTS NOW!
Voting ends tonight at 9pm EST. Winners will be pitted against each other tomorrow.
May the evilest baby win!
Today’s giveaway is a copy of “I Heart My Little A-Holes: A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting” by Karen Alpert (aka Baby Sideburns).
It is one of the funniest books you will ever read about parenting and includes chapters like “What Not to F’ing Buy My Kids this Holiday” and “If Caillou Was a Real Person I’d Gladly Go to Jail for Killing Him”.
Not if I kill him first, Baby Sideburns. NOT IF I KILL HIM FIRST.
You can read my full review here.
1) You must be a Mommy Shorts Facebook Fan or a subscriber to enter. Then predict the FINAL FOUR evil babies in the comment section below. One winner will be chosen randomly from the people who guessed correctly.
2) Spread the word about the Evil Baby Glare-Off in some way— “like” this post, share it on facebook, tweet it, pin it, whatever. Just because that would be AWESOME, thank you.
All giveaway winners will be announced on Monday October 27th, along with the winner of the glare-off.