Today, I have a guest post from Kaity and Jessica, the founders of Well Rounded NY and two of my favorite bloggers to bump into around the city. They came to me about writing a post about all the “stupid shit” people say to new moms. I’ve heard some “stupid shit” in my day, so I agreed. I even made an accompanying chart.
At Well Rounded NY, we encounter a lot of new mamas. We’re also mamas ourselves so we have been on the receiving end of — how do we put this lightly? — a lot of stupid questions. Granted, in those first few weeks, hormones can make you a little touchy, so even the simplest questions may put a new mom in self-defense mode.
Our piece of advice for friends visiting new moms?
Talk! But not about her baby. Talk aaaall about you! Tell that new mom about your work problems. Hypnotize her with your daily dramas. Just don’t start asking open-ended questions about her wonderful new life with her new baby.
She’s answered those questions ten times already.
And she’s not going to tell you what she’s really thinking anyway…
Check out Kaity and Jessica over at Well Rounded NY where they keep new moms and pregnant women sane and stylish with baby gear reviews, tips by trimester and weekly bump envy profiles.
My favorite question is: “so has your life completely changed?” Answer: “Oh yes but so worth it.” Real answer: “I honestly don’t remember what my life was like before…but I think I was smarter and could put together a sentence.”
I am certain that you could NOT have described the Daddy one ANY better! Love it.
Oh man, the “sleeping through the night” question. I get that EVERYWHERE. No, not yet people!! Blergh! And that Some Ecard – so true. So very, very true. lol
Oh goodness – this is so true. Speaking as a new mom of a 7 week old…
My answer to “When are you having another?” was always “You’re not allowed to ask that question until this one is sleeping through the night.” Two birds with one stone. 🙂
Yes to this. (As a mom sitting here breast feeding my 7 week old baby number 3.)
ha ha, yes. they are all very funny and so true, but this one especially.
I’ve been saying “Not until this one can wipe her own butt”. I think I’ve got a pretty good grace period on that one!
So funny and so, so true!
And the stupid questions don’t stop with your first child. 3 (and done!!) – now we get “When’s the next one coming? What’s one more when you’ve already got 3?” About $400 a month in daycare expenses, the NECESSITY of a bigger, less fuel-efficient-vehicle (I am hanging on to this Camry for dear life and I am NOT letting it go!), another mouth to feed/body to clothe/child to entertain/driver to worry about eventually/college to help pay for/wedding/more potential grandchildren…more sleepless nights of worry about the money we already don’t have for all of those things … I could go on…
My favorite is “Isn’t your house just filled with so much love?” Yes, if by “love” you mean “screaming, crying, whining, fighting for mom’s attention, bodily fluids, strange odors, LEGO’S AND BARBIE CRAP ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE” then YES – filled with so much love!!
I love my children more than anything. Really! I do!!
But what I wouldn’t give for a night of peace and quiet and uninterrupted sleep. That means the hubs has to stay way, too 😉
i absolutely love this comment! so very true
Lol so true 🙂
You are sooo right….
I had one night off to see a show and have done 2 extras day stuff to compensate…was t worth it…probably not!! 🙁
xx
I say the “but it’s so worth it” comment all the time. I think I’m telling the truth… Right???
Mike has two children and has not once got up to tend to either of them in the middle of the night. Actually, I forced him to get up once and he ran into a wall. I was like “Forget it, jackass. You win.”
I’ve always liked, “Not until the first one can make me a sandwich.”
heck yes! When someone asks me, I think of the little hugs I get in the morning. It’s so cute it makes my heart hurt.
So I’m a weirdo… I was on board and still up for baby number two 6 weeks after my baby girl was born. That was around the time I finally felt comfortable breastfeeding and my nipples turned into tire rubber. I felt like I could do it again after I accomplished that feat. That being said, the article is spot on!
So funny & relatable
At least you have children. I would do anything to have all of these seemingly terrible experiences that come with having babies. Instead of being so overly sensitive to what people say to you, be thankful for your blessing . They’re just trying to be nice. I never respond to articles online, but I’m so tired of seeing these kinds of articles on my facebook. I’m sick of people asking me when I’m going to have children, but I don’t need all of my facebook friends to know how much they bug me.
Yep, I’ve been in your position too, Jonna, and thought similar things. It doesn’t stop this article being true, but it can grate when you’d give your right arm to be in the same position.
Someone once gave me an answer for busybodies who ask “When are you having children?” You give a pitiful, pained expression, and say “Well… we *are* trying.” Shuts them right up.
Nice! I will have to try that one, Bungy. Thanks for the support!
In all honesty, and not to be mean…. You are on a website called mommy shorts…. you are reading an article that is called “what new moms are really thinking”
i understand that maybe you want children someday, maybe you can’t… i don’t know the situation.
As a new mother your body has gone through great physical changes (no longer carrying a child, sore boobs, tearing etc) and your hormones are horrible. your up and down, but usually more down because you are generally exhausted, either physically from birth or mentally and physically from being woken up all the time, or having a baby who has colic.
you are adjusting to new roles as new parents. you stink, you may pee yourself, you’ll be vomited on and pooped on.
these things suck. it sucks whether youve waited 10 years to be a mom, or if it happened unexpectedly.
i have two kids. i dreaded some moments, but other moments far outweighed it. hide the people that bother you on your newsfeed. i know all the new moms i know are just looking for a listening ear. remember, for the first 6 weeks youre generally at home, and most often by yourself. they are coping. if you dont like articles like this…. dont read them. simple.