Ever wonder what life would be like if you never had kids? Ever get so tired of your whining crying screaming little heathens you lock yourself in the bathroom with a bag of chips and an iPhone to plot your escape? 

Every goddamn day, right???

Well, you are in luck, because after a brief search on the internet, I found plenty of places that will gleefully take your children and dispose of them for free! 

It's easy! All you have to do is bring them to one of these 15 establishments, leave them unattended while you get your nails done or something and by the time you return, your kids will be nowhere to be found!

I remember being in a Starbucks last year when both my baby and my toddler had a simultaneous meltdown. If Starbucks had the "Pie Policy" in place (as seen above), I would have been able to sit back and enjoy my Caramel Macchiato in peace!

Here are 15 signs from places who would probably prefer you lock your kids in your car rather than bring them with you inside their establishments.




(That one would actually be punishment for the parent but moving on…)












YUM! I love donuts!!!!

Alright, alright. I want to keep my kids. I just need the proper beverages to enjoy them.


And just because it made me laugh, here's one more sign that has nothing to do with children…

Funny-store-signs1Photo sources: GuzerIzismileWe Know MemesLaugh It OutDumpadayWhispering in My JourneyTrickfest


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