90a9af806e21474cff036e8c3d9096d7

Ever wonder what life would be like if you never had kids? Ever get so tired of your whining crying screaming little heathens you lock yourself in the bathroom with a bag of chips and an iPhone to plot your escape? 

Every goddamn day, right???

Well, you are in luck, because after a brief search on the internet, I found plenty of places that will gleefully take your children and dispose of them for free! 

It's easy! All you have to do is bring them to one of these 15 establishments, leave them unattended while you get your nails done or something and by the time you return, your kids will be nowhere to be found!

I remember being in a Starbucks last year when both my baby and my toddler had a simultaneous meltdown. If Starbucks had the "Pie Policy" in place (as seen above), I would have been able to sit back and enjoy my Caramel Macchiato in peace!

Here are 15 signs from places who would probably prefer you lock your kids in your car rather than bring them with you inside their establishments.

2dfd6992c0d2dfb70f3ee6255e73d8d7

4ca830454745a74a64b959523ec694d2

53eb96463bbb856f05b657a7ce4bbee1

(That one would actually be punishment for the parent but moving on…)

-home-mongonoder-trickfist.net-image-f49f03781b4dfa3c2ff5e3588e427fa2

Funny_signs_about_640_high_26

C69d29240251ddffddb6e94daba19208

IMG_5193

Ce3902bb9872a833e24000694ed20e1b

1272903524725ua1

Bizarre-signs-crocodile-feeding-time-your-kids

-home-mongonoder-trickfist.net-image-9f721fc9c5f28e0a13fdc3b335a2dce4

18f7f195961b4075a4478cdcff0084a5

Slow-down-we-love-kids-sign

Funny_signs_about_640_24

YUM! I love donuts!!!!

Alright, alright. I want to keep my kids. I just need the proper beverages to enjoy them.

Dc29616accea080cc2b2f78f08e85bb1

And just because it made me laugh, here's one more sign that has nothing to do with children…

Funny-store-signs1Photo sources: GuzerIzismileWe Know MemesLaugh It OutDumpadayWhispering in My JourneyTrickfest

————————————-

For more Mommy Shorts, follow me on facebook.

Guess what?! I've finally got a small lead going for Best Instagram in the Parents Social Media Awards! Closing in on Best Blog too. You guys are awesome. Keep those votes coming! Click here to vote once a day up until January 13th. That's only six more days of begging. THANK GOD.