Last night, Mazzy made a big stink about doing her homework. She makes a stink most nights about doing her homework, but this time she seemed more adamant. She told me she hates homework and it ruins everything. She said it takes away from her free time to play and be a kid, she works so hard during the school day already, it doesn’t give her any time to relax before bed, and the kicker— “it takes away the time I have with YOU, Mom. I want to spend quality time with you, but instead we just fight about homework.”
These were all surprisingly well thought-out arguments, but of course, I still had to make Mazzy do her homework. Seems like that is half my responsibility as a parent, nowadays. So I said, “Well, I remember one time, I let you skip your homework, and you woke up the next morning really upset, saying, how could you let me do that??? I’m going to get into so much trouble!!!” I told her that homework helps solidify the stuff she learns in school, prepares her to do well the next day in class and teaches her how to manage her time and get work done on her own.
Mazzy was not convinced. So, I used the only thing I had left in my arsenal. I threatened to take away her iPad privileges.
Only then did Mazzy finally sit down to do her work. Once she sits down to do it, it’s never as hard as she was making it out to be. Last year, she really struggled with her homework problems, but this year, her struggle is more about homework being a waste of her down time.
This morning, I walked into Mazzy’s classroom at drop-off (with homework complete, mind you) and saw up on the board in her teacher’s writing: HOMEWORK PROS & CONS.
Apparently, her class has been having an official homework debate and Mazzy is firmly on TEAM NO HOMEWORK.
Well. Now I know where all those well-thought out guilt-inducing arguments came from. On the pro side, she is definitely paying attention in school.
I am also firmly on Team NO for that age group. My kids go to a Montessori school without homework. We are able to enjoy afternoons at the library, sport team practices, family dinners etc without fighting or the scheduled rush of getting more work done after school.
I teach a course on wellness at the university in town. One of the dimensions of wellness that I lecture on is play/work balance. I use my kids’ school as an example. First, they do a lot of work throughout the school day….labeled as works. Second, they are responsible for their own time management in class each day and for the assigned work for the week. And thirdly, they are teaching the balance that many adults struggle with….how to leave work at work and turn it off and have down time. In my lecture I also discuss reframing our definitions of work and play. For me, my work is a form of play….it’s something that recharges me to teach and have enlightened conversations. For me play is also not work….I don’t dread making time to do playful activities.
My kids have that same attitude because they are being taught that balance. They enjoy learning and do a lot of unstructured learning outside of school hours….choosing to do further research about topics they’re studying in school, practicing math skills around the house, writing in journals, reading leisurely in a way that makes them happy and refreshed. And because of this, I am firmly against homework for kids. Mazzy is right in all of her arguments!
Wow, you’ve got a smart girl!
I agree with her arguments as well! I love that her teacher is open minded enough to consider the children’s opinions and logical downsides as well! What an awesome educator!
Good luck, and keep us posted on what the class decides!