There's an old Archie Comics storyline where Veronica decides that the sand at the beach isn't soft enough for her precious tootsies and in typical Veronica-Lodge-like fashion, has a truckload of talcum powder shipped to her pool. (Was I alone in my ten-year-old obsession with Archie & The Gang?) I was reminded of this ridiculously random bit of nostalgia as soon as I stepped foot onto the stretch of beach at our current place of residence in Turks and Caicos (secret vacation location— REVEALED!) It is pure heaven. Turquoise water. Bright white sand. And as far as softness goes, let's just say, Veronica's well-manicured toes would feel right at home.

However. MY TOES are a totally different story. In fact, The State of My Toes is the only issue to arise on our trip thus far. (Did you think my issue would be the absence of our child? Nah. Turns out I am totally okay with that).

Normally (I'm still referring to pre-baby as "normally"), before I go away on vacation, I spend a full day running around doing last minute errands. Restocking on travel size stuff, buying items of clothing I feel are missing from my resort wear collection (that's my husband's fancy term for flip-flops and t-shirts) and most importantly— GROOMING. Grooming includes waxing, eyebrow upkeep and a mani-pedi. But since leading up to this trip I had both work and the baby to contend with, this VITAL part of the vacation preparation process was completely bypassed. And by bypassed, I mean— it didn't even occur to me until we got to the hotel, changed into "resort wear" and I looked down at my feet and thought— GAH!!!!

I bet not even Betty Cooper has ever let her toes get to such a state of disrepair.

I was left with no choice but to run to the hotel spa in footbarassment (I'm officially coining a new term) to make an emergency appointment.

Now, there is only one thing that is cheaper in NYC than anywhere else in the world— MANI-PEDIs. I can name about ten different places all within a five block radius of my apartment that all offer mani-pedis for under $20 (not counting the place directly across the street from me that committed Pedi-Rape after I fell asleep in the massage chair).

But a mani-pedi at our Turks & Caicos hotel spa? $130.

GAH!!!!

Only Veronica Lodge wouldn't balk at those kind of prices!

I ended up getting just the pedicure for $68 since that was by far the more pressing of the two and doing the mani myself.

SO BETTY.

But now that my toes are perfect, I am free to gallivant unselfconsciously along the pristine beach.

That is until Jughead drives through in his jalopy making greasy tiretracks in the talcum powder sand effectively RUINING EVERYTHING!!!!

Those Archie Comics story arcs really sucked, didn't they?