Somehow "baby wigs" became a trending topic over the weekend and it had nothing to do with me. WHAT??? I go away for one long weekend and suddenly the only topic that FOR SURE leads back to Mommy Shorts is ripped out from under me?!
Well, now I feel obligated to cover it, even though I'm pretty sure I'll get twenty "unsubscribes" from people who think baby wigs are all I talk about now.
Baby wigs were invented, not because some mom REALLY REALLY wanted to win an epic baby hair contest, but because some mom was tired of people confusing her VERY FEMALE yet VERY BALD baby for a boy.
That's a fate worse than death, in case you were unaware.
Most mothers (who care about such things) are perfectly content to attach hugeass flowers to elastic headbands and force their babies to wear them in photos, in public and most likely, while they sleep at night, so that the mothers themselves don't confuse their own girl babies for boy babies during especially exhausting late night feedings.
Well, one mother was so appalled by her baby girl's hairless head loved her little lady so much, she created an entire baby wig so that nobody ever confused her Brianna for a Brian again. THANK GOD!
But why stop at one baby? Shouldn't all baby girls have the locks of a lady? As a courtesy to bald baby girls everywhere, a company called "Baby Bangs" was born and now sells baby wigs for $29.95 a pop.
This way, your baby girl can have the "f*hairy*tale" she deserves. That atrocity of a word was taken straight from their website. And you thought we had exhausted hair word play with "Coif Kerfuffle"!
Sadly, Baby Bangs will not even qualify your baby for epic baby hair status. They are tasteful(?) and look like actual baby hair.
What, pray tell, is the fun in THAT???
Now, most blogs are just reporting on the baby girl toupees above. But since I must maintain my leadership status in all things baby wigs, I spent a good five minutes researching alternative baby hairpiece products.
Allow me to introduce you to Bebe Doos. They make your baby look like a combination of a child from Whoville and a french poodle. But don't worry— definitely a GIRL POODLE.
If you love the look of Bebe Doos but are worried your friends and neighbors will think you are completely wackadoodle for putting it on the head of your baby, I've got a solution for you. Sign up for the next Little Miss Baby Universe pageant. I think you'll fit right in.
If Bebe Doos is entirely too tame for you, head on over to Stupid.com where you can purchase a baby afro for the low low price of $8.95.
FYI- that site name is not a joke. Seriously. Click on it.
But my favorite baby wig by far, the one I would potentially put on my own baby, has got to be the ode to my childhood friend, Myra Alannah. That would be the name of my Cabbage Patch Kid (RIP).
THIS, my friends, is a baby wig I can get behind.
It's just $30 on Etsy and they make adult versions too! So if you STILL think baby wigs are totally weird, you can drop your kid off at school/go to work/etc. in a PERFECTLY NORMAL cabagge patch kid wig all by yourself, no babies required.
And now, I promise to adbandon this topic forever.
Sometimes people mistake my son for a girl so do they have manly baby wigs? Maybe a nice green mohawk, or maybe a sophisticated comb over?
I am cracking up! I’ve seen the pig tail headband but, not the full on WIG! People are crazy. And not just that Mom but, the people calling her baby a boy. My little girl was bald for YEARS…she would be wearing a pink dress, in her pink car seat with a flower bow on her head and I’d still get asked, “Ooooh. What’s his name?” “Cute. How old is he?” So dumb.
Also…I have a son who’s 2.5 years younger (and much smaller then his sister, obvs) and over the weekend I was asked if they were twins. TWINS! Crazy people, I tell ya!
My daughter is 15 months and people STILL think my little baldy is a boy (despite the pierced ears!). But I would NEVER put a wig on her….not that she’d keep it on anyway :/
I was wondering what happened to just putting girls in pink. My daughter had a bald head but I always put her in pink and no confusion. My son had curly hair and had to dress him in blue because of confusion there. On to the next great invention. lol
My daughter was completely bald for the first year of her life and it didn’t matter if I was pushing her in a pink stroller whilst she was wearing a pink dress people would still tell me how cute “he” was…. It was so annoying yet I refused to put the bows that were bigger than her on her head. Fast fwd 5 years and she has long beautiful golden curls and no one has mistaken her for a boy since:-)
I could knit a nice mohawk beanie for a boy…
My BFF told me when she was little her mom would tape bows to her head so people wouldnt think she was a boy since she was bald for quite some time. LOL! Definitely didnt have these when she was a baby, if there was I’m sure her mom would have bought one for her for sure!
Oh, goodness. Both my baby girls had plenty of hair, yet people almost always referred to them as boys anyway. Even when they would be dressed head to toe in pink. Even occasionally when they had bows in their hair! I think people just generally default to assuming babies are boys for some reason.
My first son was commonly mistaken for a girl, even if he was dressed in head-to-toe blue with footballs all over it. There are non-gender specific ways to compliment a baby, people!
Wow! There are no words… Well, psychotic comes to mind. That knit one is at least funny!
When I took my 2 week old son to a wedding, one older woman insisted that my son was “way too pretty to be a boy” and therefore must be a girl. I explained that he was, in fact, a boy. All his parts checked out as boy parts. But, noooooooooo, she insisted that he had to be a girl because he was too pretty (despite total baldness).
LOL to your twins story. We do nanny share with another family and our girls always get called twins. Our daughter is super pale with red hair and the other girl is Thai, so they look nothing alike. I never understand what people are thinking. Can’t infants/toddlers have FRIENDS or SIBLINGS that are not twins?
People are so strange that they would even care what strangers think about their babies! The people that know you are well aware what sex your child is, and that is what matters… When my son was born, people always came up to me and said how beautiful my daughter was. I’d just smile and say, yes my son is pretty enough to be a girl, isn’t he? And that was that!
Ha! I’m due with #2 in Sept, the cabbage patch wig is looking great for its first Halloween!
First off, a disclaimer: I was only 18 when my now 35-year old daughter was born, so I was sort of stupid. But I confess I regularly GLUED a pink bow in her little bald head. Elmer’s school glue, washed out with soap and water.
Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon on a
daily basis. It’s always interesting to read articles from other authors
and practice something from their websites.