I snapped the photo above of my two girls communicating through a window. I love it but it has nothing to do with this post. Friday is usually the day I write a wrap-up, but for some reason, this week felt a little off.
Maybe it's because we are all eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Royal Baby?
Probably not. If there's one thing I learned this week, it's that my readers could give a shit about the Royal Baby. That is the least "likes" I've gotten on a post in a very long time. I should have trusted my instincts. I could give a shit about the Royal Baby as well. Well, I hope he/she is born healthy, happy and with an Apgar score worthy of a future king or queen, but that's about it.
So. Let's put Will & Kate's unborn fetus on the backburner and talk about some other very important babies that made the news this week…
THE BABY THAT BOUGHT A CAR ON EBAY
Sorella Stoute is 14 months old and the proud owner of a 1962 Austin Healey Sprite. That's a car, in case you are not up on your vintage vehicles.
Apparently, Sorella's dad often lets her play with his android phone. On one occasion, she stumbled upon the eBay app (beats Elmo's ABCs, I guess), selected the ultimate toy of all time and became the highest bidder with a purchase price of $202. Dad didn't know about it until he received the "congratualtions!" email.
That could have gone a lot worse, in my opinion.
As Rachell Bridwell noted on the Mommy Shorts fanpage, "My kids racked up an Amazon order of $800 on the Kindle. They bought virtual farm food coins or some BS for their game. They thought the $19.99 per 100 coins was play money."
Equally as bad, Lindsay Higgins' daughter bought "$400 worth of Smurfberries".
I hope Gargamel wasn't involved in creating the Smurfs' return policy!
THE BABY THAT ATE AT A SIDEWALK CAFE IN HIS CRIB
I'm not sure what to say about this because I have no idea what motivated a couple to wheel a crib down the street of increasingly baby-friendly Williamsburg (that's Hipster Central in Brooklyn for people not from NYC) so that they could pull it up to their favorite sidewalk cafe and eat a meal.
If the baby was sleeping perhaps I could understand (no, I still can't understand) but the baby looks awake in the picture so this seems totally ludicrous.
Maybe this is what hipsters do for attention once they procreate? Maybe their stroller was being used in an alternative art piece? Maybe the crib is a fashion statement too progressive for me to understand? Oh, I know! Maybe they are being ironic?
In any case, I hope they washed those sheets when they got home.
THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD THAT THOUGHT DADDY'S PHONE NUMBER WAS 911
When Chloe Olson's mother was choking, she remembered a song about calling 911 and dialed the number, thinking her father would be at the other end of the call. She addressed the male dispatcher as "Daddy" and told him what was wrong. He instructed her to open the front door and he would come home to help. She ends with "Ok, Love you, Bye." You can listen to the 911 call here.
By the time emergency crews arrived, mom had already recovered but that doesn't make Chloe any less of a hero.
Someone should buy Chloe a car.
On second thought, she could probably buy one herself.
And fill it with Smurfberries.
Alright. That's all I got. I'll try to post better stuff next week. Unless Will and Kate have their baby. Then I believe I'm required by British Law to bore you with that topic once again.
Have a great weekend!
— Mommy Shorts
PS: To officially close the "baby wig" topic, I've got 20 Adorable Things to Put on Your Baby's Head Besides a Wig on Babble today.
That photo of your kids is too cute! Wonder what that dad is going to do with that car his kiddo bought.
I read an article that said he is going to restore it and save it for her.
Yes, I read that the seller suggested restoring it for her sixteenth birthday so that is what the dad is going to do. Quick thinking on the seller’s part who probably didn’t want to deal with the dad trying to back out of the deal!
So did the dad keep the car his daughter bought him? Because it definitely looks to be that way.
I thought that Bugaboo made their stroller with the bassinet on top so we could wheel it like a crib to bars to eat lunch and drink while our infants sleep?
Roozle bought a season of shows we already owned on the kindle, not very exciting, but she doesn’t use the kindle anymore.
My daughter also bought on the Kindle the first time she used it, since I didn’t have the parental controls engaged. Couldn’t help but laugh when I got an e-mail confirming my $9.99 “Sack of Nuts” for the Goin nuts Squirrel game.
OK I clicked through to the story about the crib at the Williamsburg restaurant…so bizarre. The whole article reads like babies are a new invention. ha. Hipsters reproducing.
Me? I was a mom before it was cool.
If you think you’ve got the Kate and Wills baby saga bad, actually try living in England! I don’t think I’ve gone a day for the last week with out the ‘has she or hasn’t she gone into labour’ and a mailbox full of ‘Kate’s maternity wardrobe’, ‘Kate’s must have baby items’ etc etc emails. I actually feel really sorry for them as I thought it was bad enough having to paste an ‘I’m listening’ smile on my face each time my friends and family gave me a crap piece of advice, just think of this on a Royal scale!!!!
I actually have to admit that I do check the news every morning to see if Kate has popped… but mostly to make sure she hasn’t stolen my name choice for my girl due in November.
Also, Hipsters are creepy. They, like clowns, seem like unsettling parodies/reflections of ourselves. Like from a twisted parallel universe or something….
Your kids are too cute. Totally worth the space on your blog, even if it didn’t match the story.
Royal baby, I just never get too excited about anybody else’s lives. I am from the Netherlands. We celebrate the monarch once a year and then we forget we have one. We go on with our own entertaining lives, we don’t even care too much about the Jones’
That crib looks like a play crib, like one of those plastic surround gates, but wooden. We used to use those. You plop baby in, fill with toys and hope that you get a shower in. Kind of like and every changing exersaucer. That just seems like a hassle to take out, I’d much prefer a nanny.
That’s a great ending to the story! At least it was only $202! I hope I never see a mysterious bill from iTunes or ebay!
The crib at the sidewalk cafe is beyond stupid.
I love every one of these stories, even though the crib one befuddles me greatly.
Last week, my pastor’s 10 yr old son, got on Ebay and clicked the buy now button to the tune of $74,000 worth of vintage guitars – including several of Stevie Ray Vaughn’s. His father didn’t know until he got the emails for “payment pending”. Fortunately, they were able to contact the sellers and get the two transactions cancelled. WOW. Talk about a heart attack inducing emails…..
when I first got an iPad & before I figured out the control settings, Milo racked up 40 some dollars worth of “coins” or some form of currency on one of his games. Gargamel was definitely involved in the return policy, as I was unable to get a refund. Much easier to swallow than $74,000 worth of vintage guitars!!
Lil’ Bit once almost ordered The Bounty Hunter on pay-per-view once. I mean, if she’s going to be ordering movies and whatnot, the least she could do is have better taste than crappy Jen Aniston romcoms.
Yeah, that’s all I got.