Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head.
For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a cup of coffee from the bodega across the street. When they were out (it was 2am after all), HE WAITED FOR THEM TO BREW A FRESH POT.
I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. Unfortunately, real life doesn’t always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.)
Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), I’d say he didn’t screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did.
You all left 237(!) examples of crazy crap your husbands pulled while you were in labor. After reading through all of them (and seriously, YOU SHOULD READ THROUGH ALL OF THEM, the thread might be the best thread ever), I have one question— What about the phrase “9cm dilated” makes men feel the need to abandon their unborn children to buy a sandwich???
From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead, here are 28 of my favorite examples of “Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor”.
I wish I was making them up.
My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. As if I wasn’t even there, In front of them. Having. A. Baby. – Misty
My husband left me, when I was in labor, to go buy a PS3 (it was Black Friday). He will NEVER live that down. -Anne
When the nurses asked how bad the pain was from 1-10 and I said 10, my husband said “oh, come on it can’t be that bad. – Eileen
My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. I went into labor while he was sitting in the bay, alone in a boat. When he came home and realized I was gone, he assumed I was just shopping or visiting family. So, he took a nap. I was prepped for emergency c-section and we had friends in boats out looking for him in the bay. SEARCH PARTIES. Finally, my Dad called the neighbors across the street to ask them to leave a note on the door of the house. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. To this day I can’t even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. – Rachell
I was in labor all night and ready to go in the morning. My husband was asleep in the chair and when they woke him up, he walked over to me and said, “My foot hurts.” REALLY? Get this man an epidural. – Michelle
My husband took a conference call on the way to the hospital. He asked me to please give him a signal before I had a contraction (and they were, oh, 90 seconds apart) so he could mute the call in time. I told him to either put the whole call on mute, tell them his wife was in active labor, or (and I strongly encouraged this), NOT TAKE THE DAMN CALL. -Meredith
My husband had ONE job, ONE. He needed to get directions to the hospital. It wasn’t until I went into labor in the middle of the night that I realized he dropped the ball. He tried to Mapquest the directions while driving down the highway and almost killed us. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. After I threatened to divorce him 75 times, he finally asked for directions and got his pregnant wife to the hospital still pregnant. -Questionable Choices in Parenting
Mine was an emergency C-section. The husband was just getting off work when we found out I needed the surgery (4 weeks early with twins). We called to tell him to come immediately. He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he still hadn’t shown up. Another call revealed him sitting at home, eating a sandwich, and checking on his World of Warcraft “real quick”. -Angelia
My husband went downstairs to charge his phone and call his mom from the car. When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sam’s buying Tupperware. -Lucy
About 30 minutes after our son was born (a full 24 hours of labor) my husband told me he was going to head home for a bit because he was “exhausted”. – Joanish
My husband grew up on a cattle ranch, and during labor with our first he very confidently announced to the nurse that he wasn’t nervous at all “because I’ve seen this a million times with cows”. -Carrie
My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with “it’s just a magazine. What else am I supposed to do?” -Tina
In the delivery room, my husband went into hypoglycemic shock because he hadn’t eaten in 48 hours. He almost passed out and had his own team of nurses and MY midwife helping him. -Tifffany
My husband took so many pictures of himself in the scrubs and mask (obviously super important to document) the camera battery was almost dead when we actually had the baby! I have pictures to prove it. -Stephanie
My husband started throwing up while I was pushing. The nurse ran out of room because she couldn’t handle it. -Lois
I was fully dilated after 18 hours and my husband said “you think you can hold out pushing until I grab some breakfast?” -Sarah
My husband grew this ridiculous goatee and wore a shirt that said TOERAG on it, so he looks ridiculous in all the photos. -Jennifer
We were out to a movie when my contractions started. Since our house is on the way to the hospital, we stopped to get our bags. I waited in the car while my husband went in… 5 minutes go by… 10 minutes… 15!!!!!! He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!! Yeah. He’s a genius. -Amy
Mine watched TV with his face pressed against the screen because he couldn’t hear it over my pain noises! -Kirsti
My husband asked if he could “borrow one of my pillows”, because his back hurt and I had “too many”. -Parisa
When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. Seriously?? Fine. Then I asked him to wake our 3-year-old and get him ready for daycare. I waddle downstairs expecting everyone to be ready to leave and find them eating waffles and watching cartoons. I’M IN LABOR, PEOPLE!!! -Amy
At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. I was on the bouncy ball for a half hour waiting and then went to check on him. He had fallen back asleep. -Jessica
My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. -Carrie
After I finally agreed to an epidural, the nurse explained that it would feel like a quick little bee sting. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, “I’ve had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesn’t feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. It really hurts.” I replied, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you say that to me in THE THROES OF LABOR? -RealMomofNJ
Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didn’t want to pay for hospital parking. -Kate
Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying “I promise I won’t be in the way”. -Amber
My husband made me wait for him to finish watching Gladiator after my water broke. -One Funny Motha
While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says “I think you should calm down”. -Katie
If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here.
And please feel free to add your husband’s own egregious efforts below.
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I am truly sorry that you had to go through that. It may seen so difficult right now, but one day you will realize that it was for the best. I hope you can look back and tell yourself that him leaving was the best thing to happen to you and your child. Stay strong!!
I was in active labor, no epidural yet and during a contraction,
My husband said, I bet that hurts almost as bad as the kidney
Stones I had last month. He also, (not labor related) left me while
I was in surgery to go have lunch at a restaurant down the street. I
don’t think that’s a mistake he will ever make again.
My partner was amazing… Except after a harrowing 38 hour labor, complete with transfer from the birth center to the hospital and a neonatal resuscitation team, he asked me if he had been wrong thinking he was going to get, uh, an HJ, in the bathroom when our midwife suggested nipple stimulation to hopefully avoid a pitocin induction. Yes, darling, I’m 8 cm dilated with a baby stuck in my pelvis, but m totally thinking about pleasuring you! Luckily he was actually awesome in every other way!
This could be the worst thing I have ever read. Punctuation is your friend – learn it.
That was an unkind comment. Next time, try a little empathy.
My Mother in Law did the same thing, My water broke at 6 am. So She decided to bring HIM food, so he wouldn’t be hungry, and check ON HIM, see if he needed anything, never asked how I was doing, feeling, if i needed anything etc. However she did manage to say (right in front of me), “if she gets angry and calls you names or hits you etc, its not her, its just the pain, that what i did to your father”, Uh I was right there, she couldn’t have taken our to the hall? She kept asking me when HER grand-baby was coming, and how far dilated I was, how much longer SHE had to wait etc. We told EVERYONE, es. Her we wanted just the 2 of us in the delivery room. My parents were respectful, but she was so upset, and kept saying, but your my son, and its MY grand-baby. It was so annoying and so hard not to say anything rude. When my mom came to check on me, she would rub my back, get wet cloths for my forehead, actually leave when the Dr was checking me etc. But my hubbies mother was completely intrusive. When we had our 2nd, we didn’t let her know until AFTER the baby was born.
About a week before I gave birth, my husband told that he needed me to make sure the delivery was “as pleasant an experience as possible” for him. He was 100% serious.
My husband, a surgeon himself left work early when I had to be induced… Looks at me after 3 hours and says so what’s going on, why is this taking so long oh and by the way punctuated his sensitivity with, it would be nice if you could have the baby before midnight because it was my grandfathers birthday… I held on to that sucker until 12:45 am the next day… Touché
be nice. shame on you.
be nice. that’s not necessary.
For Baby #1, while I was in active labor, my husband’s method of comforting me was to pat me roughly on the shoulder like I was a German shepherd. For Baby #2, we had to deal with an unusual major snowstorm for our area so had to leave home in our VW rabbit since it was a front-wheel drive rather than our other rear- wheel drive station wagon. My labor pains were 2 minutes apart so while we’re getting in the car, my husband is rushing to get in the driver’s seat but catches his pant’s pocket on a piece of metal sticking out that is part of the door lock. His pants get ripped down to his knee, exposing his boxers and leg. So he says, “Wait here while I run inside to change.” We finally leave and get to the hospital through treacherous driving conditions, get to Labor & Delivery. My regular doctor can’t make it through the snowstorm so we end up with a substitute dr. This new doctor happens to have common music interests with my husband so while they’re both at the business-end of things, they end up talking about bands and music while I’m busy pushing. At one point, my husband says, “Hey, Hon, you should see this!”
After I had my first baby and the dr was stitching me up, my (ex) husband said, “hey doc, you don’t mind throwing an extra stitch in there right brother” and winked!!!
Omg!! While “helping” pack the hospital bags I asked if he could get me a few undies. He rifles through the whole drawer and produces 3 thongs and a lacy boy short. For real dude, its gonna look like a scene from psycho down there after, lets hold the dino-diaper on with some dental floss and lace.
My ex was not the soul of compassion either. He cut up and clowned around with his sister while I was in labor with the first, and stopped for coffee at his mom’s on the way to the hospital with the second. We were divorced 25 years at the time of his death—
Here is mine- I was in early labor for over a month which was fun to say the least. Friday night I went into full labor and went to the hospital. Had to take a Taxi because my husband was at work (works nights), and he had to come from work. After 6 hours of active labor with no progress, my midwife gave me the choice: c-section or meds to stop labor for about a day (since my water had not broken yet). We took the meds. My husband complained the entire way home about how I made him miss work. Called his mother and she came up to stay with us in case I went into labor again at night. The next Wednesday, still pregnant, I went in to see my midwife again. Another week in contractions every 2-3 minutes hell, living in my bath tub for the most part… She checked, no progress still. I got home and my husband commented why I could not just be induced while his mom was there and it would be convenient. Needless to say, wrong question Buster and all hell broke loose. Well, buy about 4 that evening I was getting really intense contractions and just miserable so my MIL came to the hospital with me to get checked… some progress, finally, but not enough to hold me at this point, so my husband came and they told us to keep me there and walk around the hospital for a while. Well he commented that it was embarrassing to walk around with me while I was having gnarley contractions. I again lost it on him. Told him to leave. Next time I was checked, around 6, I was advanced enough to stay. Was still so peaked with him I would not allow him in the room. He waited out in the hall until about 10:30 at which point I was just too burnt to give him the hell he deserved… son was born at 11:30, natural labor, so I was exhausted, delirious in pain… and to top it all off the jerk decided to record me pushing on his phone. I found out the next day. Gave him more hell than you can imagine, including chucking his phone in the toilet. Seriously, only child. Men do not have a clue when it comes to labor and delivery, and I do not have the sanity to put up with that crud ever again…
hahahahahahahah!!! Yeah right buddy!
I went into labor at midnight, two weeks early , with my first child. My 4 year old stepdaughter was spending the night, so we called her mom, my husbands ex (who we are good friends with) to come over and stay so we could go to the hospital. I was in active hard labor for hours, and at 10am, my husband announced he was going to run home to get a shower! We only lived about 5 minutes away. I was a little busy, and really didn’t care. When he showed back up an HOUR later, shaved and clean, I asked what the $&@/ had taken so long, he told me that he had stayed to have pancakes WITH HIS EX WIFE AND DAUGHTER!
After a very rough and painful pregnancy (was on bed rest for a month until I went in labor at 38 weeks, I had an even rougher labor. Labored for 24 hours (exactly 24 even) without being allowed any food, labor stalling and needing pitocin, and the epidural not working, my boyfriend SLEPT the entire time while I couldn’t even doze off or get comfortable AT ALL.
My Ex was a “rancher wanna be” and bragged after our first was born that “at least I was an easy calver.” Our 3rd landed me in an ambulance run 120 miles away for an emergency C. (I had lost my water at only 24 wks) Our only son was born and died in 10 minutes. While awaiting the coroners report some 3 weeks later, ex says to “forget it” and “you don’t need to know what happened.” Also found out he had spent his nights with my “best” friend while I was in recovery from the C. Been happily divorced for 31 years now!!!
My (now ex-) husband left me at the hospital for 3 hrs while he went home to explain to our friends why we wouldn’t be available over the weekend (I had been scheduled for an induction on Monday, my water broke Friday afternoon). My doctor had left to go out of town for the weekend, so I was left w a virtual stranger & my mother-in-law while he went home & smoked weed with his friends. After he finally shows back up, stoned out of his mind, I ask him to help me to the bathroom. My first major contraction hit as I was coming out, he YELLS “well if it hurts that bad, why did you get out of bed?” (His own mother almost smacked him on that one!). After all that, he FAINTS as I’m pushing our son out! Everyone ignored him tho, they were tired of his crap, too, by then.
I was kept at the hospital because the contractions were regular and fairly close and my mucus plug had come out. My husband went back home to “wait” for me to be in active labor because we had a 19 month old. The nurses mistakenly told him it would be hours (this was my third child…hours?)No matter that my parents had come to our house and could have watched our son so my husband could be with me. Yeah, that was fun, being alone while the other woman in labor had her husband with her. They got a call at 3 in the morning explaining that I was getting ready to deliver and all made it in time. Somehow.
My brother had died the day before and I was induced so I would make it to the funeral and wake. Dr. Came in to start the medications to be induced and said I’ll see you tonight. Well, a couple of hours later my contractions were strong. I started to become irritated and kept buzzing for the nurse to get me an epidural. Meanwhile my husband was watching TV and trying to talk to me as I was contracting. I would not respond because I was dealing with the pain. He told me that if I don’t stop acting like a bitch he was going to leave me at the hospital by myself.
After my hemorrhaging was under control my husband decided it was a good time to fall asleep. Even when our son’s heart rate was dipping; even when they put replacement fluid back in me after my water broke to get him floating again and off his cord. Even after that didn’t work and so the doctor was elbow deep in my hoo-ha keeping the cord off the baby’s neck so I could finish dilating (thank God for the epidural). It wasn’t until the doctor told me I could push, several angry yells from me to wake up, and the nurse physically shaking my husband did he rouse. When he did the nurse asked him to help me hold my leg. He, in his sleepy stupor, asked why I couldn’t hold my own leg…duh…epidural. He still hadn’t lived this down. Probably never will. In his defense, he had been awake for 48 hours (but I had too…).
I know its not a hubby post but my mom brought a baked ham & salads to the hospital & set up a buffet in my labor room. She went around the floor and invited ALL the Dr.s & nurses & other peoples families into my room to get something to eat… while I was having double peaked contractions every 60 seconds…
Child #1. 32 hours from water breaking to delivery. Husband left my side to eat frequently. Then nearly passed out while I was pushing. Nurses brought him juice and crackers.
Child #2. 10:15 pm. Husband surfing internet. I warned him to get some sleep as I was in the early stages of labor and it could be a short night. 11:15pm husband still surfing internet. Labor advanced quicker than I expected. Husband went to bed while I went to shower. 12:05am. Labor cruising along. I woke husband to time contractions as I they were too quick and painful for me to time by myself. Contractions under 5 minutes apart, lasting 1.5 minutes. I freaked out and said we needed to call DR. Hubby suggested we time a few more. Thank goodness I’m assertive and won that arguement. 12:15 call to grandparent to watch older child. Hubby fries up a couple of eggs citing hunger. 1:15am arrival to hospital front door. 2:53am arrival of daughter. Husband nearly passed out and required his own team of nurses.
Child #3. Scheduled induction for post term baby. Pitocin started at 9:30am. Painful labor which didn’t advance quickly. 6:30pm I begged for an epidural. Hubby tried to talk me out of it “drug free is better for the baby.” Remember the earlier statement about me being assertive? 12:10am third child born with me having received an epidural. Hubby nearly passes out again and steals my nurses.
To this day he still claims low blood sugar for all three rather than admitting the sights and smells of childbirth were more than he could handle.
With the birth of my second child, just before I was about to start pushing my husband asks if there’s time for him to make a pee because of all the coffee the midwife fed him. Yeah, I’ll just cross my legs for you!
I was brought in for overnight observation that turned into an emergency “planned” c-section for what was supposed to be our baby daughter. I had told my husband to go home for the night because there was no use in both of us being uncomfortable. The next morning, my doctor came in and said he wanted a sonogram before the c-section, to check on the baby one last time. I called Kyle to let him know and he then asked “would it be okay if I stopped off and got some breakfast? Im starving!” (mind you, I haven’t eaten in almost 24 hours, other than Jello and clear liquids!!!!!) I said fine and was taken down for my sonogram. The nurse then proceeds to show me my baby is not a little girl, but A BOY!!! When I got back to many room, my husband was eating his Roy Rogers…so, in my hungry state, I decided NOT to share the news!!! He found out a couple hours later about the little surprise! hahaha
my now ex wife was not helpful at all. my water broke 8 weeks early with out twins and when I told her that I either peed myself or we needed to go to the hospital she told me to just sit on the toilet until I was sure I was done peeing. (6PM)
I then called my mom who told her in unpleasant words to get me to the hospital ASAP while mom made arrangements for someone to stay with my nephew she is raising. When at the hospital wifeykins kept telling me I shouldn’t have the boys, it was too early. Well NO S*&^ SHERLOCK. I was terrified, not dialated and in a insane amount of pain. She help telling me to be quiet she needed to sleep. Then I had to get one of the steroid shots to help with lung development (this was the second initial labor at 26 weeks) so I knew how bad it would hurt. She left the room since she doesn’t like needles. (1am) Good thing the hospital kicks everyone out when they do the epidural (4am)
Finally moved to the OR to deliver (6am) since the hospital does all twins in the OR even if it’s a vaginal birth she kept trying to pet my head like I was a puppy, then look to see what was going on.
Baby A was wisked away to the NICU (shortly after 7am) then the doctor had to manually turn baby B who had flipped breach last minute. I went back to 4cm and stopped having contractions. 2.5 hours later it was time to start pushing again and she was more concerned that that she had missed breakfast than anything else. I finally kicked her out and it was me, mom, 4 nurses a doctor and a poor resident who “had never seen this much time pass between twins”
When B had been born (10:30 am) she told me she was going to let the dogs out and take a nap. It wasn’t until after noon that I got to see the boys for the firs time in their incubators and I did so by myself since she was nowhere to be found
I’m sorry, I can’t understand any of this. Maybe if you knew how to type you would’ve found a smarter partner. Too many run on sentences and misspelled words. “six” “cheps” “kiling” “hole” “begning” just from the bottom bit of the run on “story”. Sorry, you asked for it. Don’t have kids with a dumbass next time, and be smarter yourself. Good luck.
I went into labor with my first in the wee hours of Christmas morning. I was so excited, but I decided to wait until 8 am when the contractions were closer to wake my (then) husband to tell him I was in labor. I gently nudged him, and told him that his Christmas present was going to be here on time!! He asked me what I meant, and I told him I was in labor. He literally rolled back over and went back to sleep. Feeling disappointed in his reaction, but not wanting to get into a fight, I just quietly got up and took a shower. In his defense it did end up being mid-afternoon before I felt like the pains were coming close enough to actually go to the hospital. After several more hours of active labor, I was taken by surprise when my OB asked if I would mind if he went back home to have Christmas dinner with his wife as she was having a big dinner with all their relatives over. He promised he would come back as soon as he was paged by the hospital if the baby started coming before his return. True to his word, he did catch up with me as I was being wheeled into the delivery room right after my water broke. I was so hungry after spending the entire day in labor, and after watching my ex eating the food I had packed for him while I was in labor, and having even missed the turkey dinner that the other patients had that night. But it was still the best Christmas I ever had… I received a big thank you from my OB’s wife, my dinner ended up being two slices of my mother-in-law’s delicious Christmas pies that she brought me since I missed dinner with the family, and our daughter was the best Christmas present I ever could have received.
After spending one month on hospital bedrest it was finally time to deliver my twins via c-section. And by REST I mean I was poked/monitored every four hours 24/7, never slept due to back discomfort and loud hospital noises, and had bloodwork done every morning between 4:30-5:30am to see “if today is the day.” The doc asked me to lean on my husband for stability during my spinal block. I was terrified because I was sure if I moved I would be paralyzed for life. On their THIRD attempt with a giant needle (not sure why the first pokes didn’t work) my husband asked me to relax a little because it was hurting his back for me to lean on him. HURTING. HIS. BACK. He’s lucky I couldn’t reach any surgical equipment or he would be altered.
I delivered my first child early Christmas eve. My husband decided it would be a good idea to go out last minute to by me a Christmas present. A stair stepper. With my second, he left as soon as I had my baby because he had to go home and take care of his pregnant dog. I’m still laughing.
My boyfriend was great during labor, but several hours after she was born he decided he needed to go celebrate with his friends, I agreed to him having a drink or two, but he was DRUNK and had the nerve to come back to the hospital and snore LOUDLY all night on the pullout couch while his new daughter and I TRIED to get some rest, needless to say I got even less than I was already expecting to get. Awesome.
These are HILARIOUS!!!
With my 1st – Mine decided he was STARVING and simply needed a Big Mac meal on the way to the hospital. So went through Drive Thru – when they told him there’d be a short wait – he goes “yeah that’s fine, we’re not in a rush.”
With my 2nd – I was induced – after being told by the midwife that it would still be a few hours he decided he was going to pop out and “grab a bite to eat”. After 3 hours my dad had to call him and ask where the hell he was to which he replied “I bumped in to a mate at the pub and he’s buying me congratulations drinks”
With my 3rd – He was in the little kitchenette making 2 min noodles (yes apparently it’s all about him and his stomach) when the midwife told him the baby was about to be born. To which he replied “yep, can you get her to hang on a sec, the water’s almost boiled”.
Yeah…. we’re not together anymore. Haha
With our first my water was every so slightly leaking at 35 weeks and I spent the night in the hospital not knowing what the doctor was going to want to do in the morning when he arrived. At 7am the doctor arrived and said I was going to be induced at 8am. I told my husband to run home and grab what he would need for a couple of days and to let the dogs out. About 3 hours later (and we lived 15 min away) the pain is starting to get intense and I’m wondering where he is. He finally shows up and says he wanted to run by Chick-Fil-A because they were giving away free breakfasts that day. And we drove around to several locations so he could maximize the freebies! Also I didn’t find out until we went home from the hospital that he had taken the time to organize our closet, shoes and rearrange a few things because he wanted our place to look nice when my mom arrived. Good intentions I guess? 1 1/2 years later I go into labor with our second one. I was giving our daughter a bath to try to take my mind off the pain before we went into the hospital. My husband decided it was time to fix our toilet right next to me and goes into a yelling match with his mom who was also trying to help. Then when I tell him I’m ready to go to the hospital he STARTS to pack his bag (nevermind I had been in labor for nearly 10 hours at that point.) Then I’m out pacing around the car waiting for him and I look in the window to see him on his computer. He said, “hang on I need to email my boss to tell her I won’t be in in the morning.” Seriously!?!? After knowing I was in labor for 10 hours you decide to wait until now to let her know!!! They just don’t know…
My baby daddy (this should have been my sign) had to walk out of delivery when I went in 33 weeks labor, he said he smell was making him want to throw up. When he left I told the nurse to being my mom in; my daughter was delivered and she cut the cord. After daughter cleaned and he came back in he had the nerve to be pissed because he wanted to cut the cord. Daughter was born at 11:30 at night, everyone left about two am, I dudnt see him until discharge 48 hours later because he was so tired from being up late.
My husband left when I was fully dilated to go grab a cup of coffee from the cafeteria….an HOUR later he strolls back in and I had started pushing already. He went to the fast food place across the street to eat!
MY HUSBAND WAS SUPPOSE TO FALL THE AMBULANCE FROM CAPE COD TO BOSTON BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A EMERGENCY C-SECTION FROM 33 WEEKS PREGNANT OF TWINS AND ALMOST DID NOT MAKE ON TIME!A WEEK LATER I FIND OUT WHY! HE STOP TO GET THE OIL CHANGE ON ARE CAR SOMETHING HE WAS SUPPOSE DO DO WEEKS BEFORE!
First my husband made me miss my birthing class for pushing. I found I really needed that class while in labor. Secondly, he left to go to a bar and came back stinking drunk. We divorced 2 years later. He was a total waste of oxygen.
My husband left me in the hospital after I delivered for my parents to pick me up so he and a friend could go to a concert they had tickets to.
The first time around he asked for gloves and the second time around he said “do I have time to go pee” as I was actively pushing!
I went into labor in the middle of the night the day before my scheduled c-section. While waiting for the doctor on call, I was having major contractions and pain so I was breathing heavily. My husband looks at me and said “your breath really stinks, why didn’t you brush your teeth be fore we left?” uumm I dunno, maybe because it’s 3 am and I am in labor! !
My husband played Pokemon on his Nitendo DS and watched the World Cup the entîre time I was in labor…when his DS died he left and went to Walmart to get a charger
I was nearly crying with pain and said something about how the contractions keep getting worse and husband looked at the maching and says “I don’t know why your complaining so much, according to this that one wasn’t nearly as strong as the last one!”.
Seriously wish I was gay right now.
After my epidural, my husband asked the midwife how long she thought it would be. She said probably about 4 hours, to which his response was “Okay, I’ll be back in 2” and left!!!
Mine gagged dramatically ..all the way to tge hospital because. Tge sight of me having contractions made him feel queezy. We had to stop on tge way to get him a sprite.then he almist passed out when he saw my epidural injection.when it was all said and done he put a dip in his mouth in the middle of the stetille nursery and proceeded to spit into a cup which he sat on the nursery station (they asked him to move it) and proceeded to shout: “hey when are yall gonna do that PENIS thing?? (circumcision) …classy
Why are men such Jerks especially when we are about to give Birth!! It seems like my experience was Full of husband mishaps! I his wonder if they are simply so fearful of what’s about to happen that they try to stall the inevitable as if running to get food quick or something will slow things down?! Who knows. So here is my story. Enjoy ladies 🙂
My water broke at 3:22 am when I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep. I had Just finished putting away the rest of lo’s clothes in the nursery & planned to pack the hospital bag the next day…ha ha. I was 38 weeks. So when my water broke it was obvious so I said DH, DH! My water broke!! I had to yell at him twice to wake him up & when I told him Again that my water broke he says “So should I call work & tell them I’m not coming in today?” “Uh, Ya,” I said, “my water broke, there’s no turning back now, the baby is coming!”
So I call the Dr while DH keeps interupting me on the phone to ask me what he should pack….he wanted to know what He needed to pack, not what he could pack for me or baby. Oh no, I packed mine & lo’s bag.
My contractions began an hr later as we were heading to the hospital. I carried my own suitcase cuz DH was carrying his & hollering at me to hurry up & why did I stop when I was doubled over in a strong contraction still holding my suitcase in the middle of our 3 flights of stairs. Ya.
At the hospital I was dropped off after telling him No I can’t walk all the way from the parking garage into the hospital! Then the nurse asked if I needed a wheelchair & he answers for me, no she can make it & starts guiding me towards the Stairs! Luckily the receptionist was smart & brought me the wheelchair!
During labor before my epidural DH was busier making jokes w the nurse than he was trying to be my coach & help me through contractions. I had to call him over to me every time
Continued:
When I got my epidural my DH stood there talking to the anesthesiologist about the procedure & comparing it to the spinal he had done 10 yrs ago….Shut up & get out of the room & let him Give me the epidural!!! I didn’t say it but I was Screaming it on the inside!! I’d already waited 2 hrs after I was supposed to get it due to emergency c sections taking my place in line & my contractions were coming one right after the other with No break between!
When it came time to push DH refused to hold my leg till the nurse & Dr said he had no choice there was no one else there to do it! So he suggested me! Seriously?!!
When I was pushing, my aunt came to join us so she could take pictures but she started telling everyone about Her birth stories & my DH kept asking her questions. Hellooooo I’m the one having the baby Now! How about we stay focused on This birth story! My DH got so involved in talking that he actually Dropped my numb leg & it Fell off the table! The Dr caught it & it was sore for several days!
After my beautiful son was born at 1:10 the next day at 5 lbs 9 oz he needed phototherapy. I wanted to go see him cuz I missed him but my DH went without me & told me I should walk there cuz it would do me good. …I called the wheelchair service & had them take me 🙂
In the hospital after I was released I was allowed by the manager to stay the rest of that night in my room since baby was not released yet, but it was up to me to take care of myself. When I needed my next pain pill, DH refused to get me some food so I could take my pills & told me he would do it after he woke up next around 10 am or so he said & after he ate breakfast himself. Then he would bring some down to me. If I wanted then earlier I had to get it myself. I was full of stitches & the cafeteria wasn’t even in the same building! I called the nurse line & cried & she got me some cereal out of the nutritian room. I was so relieved!
When I was released I had actually stayed an extra night afterward since LO still needed phototherapy & then he was released that morning so I was not given the usual wheelchair ride out of the hospital. My DH carried LO in his car seat & walked super super fast literally leaving me behind. I actually rode the elevator to the lobby alone cuz I couldn’t keep up. I had a 3rd degree tear plus two others so I was in a lot of pain. When I got to the lobby DH didn’t wait he just walked outside & put LO down on the cement & headed out to the parking garbage to get the car. I rushed to the baby he left Alone on the front walk & waited w him Shoked he hadn’t waited for me to be w the baby before he Left him!!! I was So Angry!
2 weeks after I gave birth DH told me it was time I start taking walks & loosing that baby weight cuz I had really ballooned up. I could go on & on.
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My ex husband worked in construction. With our first baby I called him at work to come home. Once he got there he had to stop and shower and shave, then he had to put a new crease in his jeans because he didn’t like the job I had done. When we left to go to the hospital, he stopped and did a “quick” wash and detail on his already immaculate truck. And finally, once we got to the hospital he moseyed across the street to get a cheeseburger and fries, which he brought back and ate in front of me! He was always such a considerate guy…there really is a reason he is an EX!
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My husband passed out while I was getting my epidural with my first child. The nurses dropped everything and ran to his aid. For my second, since he knew what to expect, he thought he could stay in the room. But, he vomited when he saw the needle.
He then took a call while I was in labor which was a job offer…and then wanted to talk it through with me. Because I had nothing else to do.
After 18 hours of labor, that actually stretched into 26. My husband leans over my belly and says to the baby, “Come on Madalyn, it’s time to come out, daddy is sooooo tired.” I wanted to break his nose…..I still mention it to him. 🙂
After being in labor for 18 hours and only at 5cm. I sent my husband to get himself some breakfast because I don’t want him passing out because of low blood sugar. He didn’t want to eat at the hospital cafeteria because he doesn’t like hospital food even though he’s never had it before. He left to go to Burger King down the street. After 25 minutes he’s still there waiting for them to make him a whopper because he doesn’t like their breakfast food. 15 more minutes go by and he’s still not back. Turns out he stopped at his brothers house for coffee. My husband doesn’t even drink coffee. Then he had time to post on Facebook that we were at the hospital, after I had told him not to post anything until after the baby was born, he sat in the parking lot reading the comments his friends wrote. By the time he got back to the hospital room I was being wheeled away for an emergency c section.
After being in labor for 20 hours I don’t want my husband passing out from low blood sugar when I started to deliver. I told him to get some breakfast, he didn’t want to eat at the hospital cafeteria because he doesn’t like hospital food even though he’s never had it before. He went to Burger King down the street. After 25 minutes he’s still there waiting for them to make him a whopper at 8:00 a.m. because he doesn’t like their breakfast. After 15 more minutes and no hubby, I called him again. He stopped at his brothers house for coffee. My husband doesn’t drink coffee. He then posted on Facebook that we were at the hospital after i had asked, and he agreed not to post anything until after the baby was born. He then sat in the hospital parking lot reading the comments his friends posted. By the time he got to the hospital room I was being wheeled away for an emergency c section.
My doctor put me on bedrest at 36 weeks with our second child. He told us both to expect to be back soon… I am a repeat csection FYI. At 38 w 1 d I begin having contractions about 8 mins apart at 11 am… By 3pm they are 3.5 mins apart. My husband refuses to take me to the hospital because I have a scheduled doctor appointment TOMORROW AFTERNOON. He wasn’t convinced that I was in labor. So my sister took me (an hour drive to the hospital) and the doctor immediately got the ball rolling and stated “we are having a baby”… I text my husband and he says… “Tell him to wait I’m on my way but I have to find my keys”. Yeah… He literally walked in seconds before the doctor cut me open. He will NEVER live that down and his daughter will hear about it lol!
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Went for a routine check up and was dilated at 5cm so my midwife sent me over to the hospital. I asked my husband to go home to get a couple things I had forgotten, it honestly should have taken 35mins but it took 3 hours!!! I called him to see where in the hell he was because I was doing an all natural labor and the pain was getting unbearable. He went to go get his friend but not only that he waited for his friend to take a shower and eat!!!! I could have killed him..
My labor was a total of 40 hours. The first miserable thing for me was when I first woke up from the first contractions, I woke up my sons dad and said I think I’m in labor where he turned to me and said, wake me when you’re sure and rolled back over and went back to sleep. I got up and did a long walk with my aunt and the contractions started coming harder so she (who was from our of town and had NO idea where to go as I’m screaming in the back seat trying to guide her) drove me to the hospital…so we get there and my water finally broke and my sons father finally showed up to the hospital 3 hours later because he is a Kansas City Chiefs fan and it was a Sunday football day and the Broncos were playing the Chiefs and when he walked in he was totally drunk and was with his drunk friend and they kept taking his Kansas City hat and putting it on my head taking funny pictures as I’m sitting there squirming and pushing and in extreme pain. My aunt screamed at him making him leave coming back after he had sobered up. It wasn’t a very good delivery for me needless to say.
We got to the hospital at 4am and during the entire time the nurse was trying to take down all of my information my husband kept talking about how hungry he was. The nurse asked if he felt lightheaded and he said no and she went to get him a sandwich anyway because she said she didn’t want him passing out. He ate the sandwich and told the nurse that was not enough and I was in active labor at that time. The nurse asked if he could wait that the baby would be here soon and the cafeteria would then be open. My husband said he couldn’t wait and left to go get fast food and luckily made it back literally 10 minutes before our son was born. When he walked in the room all he said was “Sorry hun I forgot to ask if you wanted anything but I can go back out if you need me to.”…. Death stare….
During my c-section, I was trying to keep my mind off things by chatting with me male anesthesiologist, who was Russian. I had studied in Russia, so I was practicing my language skills with him.
After the c-section was over, my husband accused me of flirting with the Russian. He also mocked the noises I made from the pressure of having a nearly 8 lb. baby pulled out of stomach (I am 5 feet tall).
He never once slept in my room during the 4 nights I was there.
When i hopet was finally time to push with our third child (and the epidural decided to start wearing off at this time), my husband (being the nostalgic person he is) decided it would be a wonderful memory if hunting was on TV when our daughter was born so we could always tell her that special memory! So they’re getting my legs up and HE’S flipping through channels! When we tell our daughter this story someday I’m sure he will tell it with a smile, while I will tell it as an example of how hunting has and will always be the center of his world. . Lol..
Okay so mine isn’t as bad, but when my son was finally born (after 28 hours of labor) we were resting in the room and my husband decided it was a good time to “try” learning how to change him…on top of my bed. Needless to say as soon as he removed the diaper my son peed all over the place covering my son, me, and my bed in urine. My husband was completely clean…
It is 1992 prior to cell phones. I have been in labor for 18 hours with an over 8 pound baby. I am only 5’1″ and was in a great deal of pain and on meds to make the contracts harder and faster. My husband told me that, “He was tired and uncomfortable and wanted to go home to eat and sleep and get this “TO CALL HIM WHEN THE BABY IS COMING!!!!” I told him if he left our son with be given my maiden name and I would file for divorce. I ended up having an emergency C-section after 30 hours of labor due to fetal distress. YET HE EXPECTED ME TO CALL HIM WHEN THE BABY WAS COMING. HOW!!!!
I went into hard active labor about 2 hours after my Fiance left for work i knew something was wrong that say IE i was going and u knew it so his parents came to spend the night just incase thank goodness!! So i call him and he doesn’t believe me so he had his dad get on the phone then aid his Jake was lying lol and had his mom get on the phone as i was grabbing the car keys i was yelling that if he doesn’t leave work right this minute he would not be in the delivery room needless to say he hung up and rushed over
My ex tried to leave the delivery room twice, my doctor told him no, and I told him to sit his butt by my head. After all that, about 30 minutes after the birth of my son, the ex says “do you mind if I go play softball now? The team still has a game tonight.”
My husband had been working on motions to continue his cases for when we anticipated our daughter would be born. He finished and got in bed about 2am and at 2:30am I wake him and say my water broke. He asked if I was sure I didn’t pee on myself. I said no it’s time! He then asked if we could talk about it in the morning. So we prepare to shower while waiting on the dr to call with instructions. So I’m showering and the contractions start and are coming hard and fast so I get out so we can get going since we live a good drive away from the hospital. He gets in the shower while I get dressed and mind you, I’m contracting. He opens the shower door and asks if I think he needed to shave. Wth?!! Uhhh nooo!! So a few minutes later I hear the buzzing of his electric razor and I am livid!! Needless to say, after a few choice words, he made a 35-40 minute drive and 18 minute one! Then during labor wants to tell me I’m balling up his favorite shirt whenever a contraction hit! Smh.. Gotta love him
en-route to hospital, my hubby pulled into McDonalds drive-thru! I asked him what the hell he was doing and he said “well I figure we’ll be in for a long night and I’m hungry…you should eat something too”!! The girl at the window said “OMG you’re wife is in labor” and she quickly passed the food through the window and says “good luck…and I hope your baby is smarter than your husband”, LMAO!! Luckily my daughter is much smarter…thank you God 🙂
I know a lady, while she was pushing her husband turns to her and announces that he’s having an affair and wants a divorce!
Well I’m not in labor yet I have a month to go. I found this site bc I googled how should i wake my sleeping wife so he would know I’m not crazy for asking him to not tell at me.dinner is ready I’d.prefer maybe a quite wake up maybe come tub my forehead for all of two seconds until I open my eyes and sat baby’s dinners ready. But no he said that this is why he didn’t want me to take nap and that I shouldn’t of taken a nap while he cooked dinner. Are you serious I’m tired and haunt napped all day not to mention I work full time he doesn’t and also this is my third day home from the hospital bc I spent a week impatient with double pneumonia. But at the moment he’s sitting on the couch next to me at the other end asking me what am I doing on the phone, trying to find a boyfriend! Also telling the cat….in the calm voice I requested and didn’t get that at least she loves him. Wtf why would I want ANYTHING to do with you or another man when you all assailed except when talking to the cat!?!?!
I’ve been in labor for about 2 hours now and my husband has fallen asleep. Yes that’s right asleep while I was screaming in pain. The nurse comes in to explain that I need an emergency c-section and to wake my husband up so we can go. After about 5 mins of screaming and pillow throwing he finally wakes up and spends 10 mins of asking questions on what was going on. I told him if he asks one more question I will be throwing my fist and not a pillow.
My husband was in a band at the time of our daughters birth. I pleaded with him not to book a show out of town the month before my due date, but he did anyway. So when my water broke, three weeks early,he was about to go on stage about 5 hours from home! He is so lucky he left right away and came right to the hospital because from my water breaking to her delivery was exactly 6 hours! He got there right before I started to push! He will never ever live that down!
My idiot brought his mistress to the hospital. Had to leave before she was born.. came back and left again a few minutes after she was born. Refused to be in the room at time of birth.
My family waited 3 weeks to tell me he had another woman in the waiting room.
How about you don’t treat your husband’s like crap and shame them online? Otherwise, why are you married? I think this is horrible. We should celebrate families that love and cherish each other.
Oh grow some tits and a sense of humor lady. They’re funny anecdotes. Touchy touchy!
A week before I had my second son I had a false labor for 8-10 hours and lost my mucus plug while we were at my fiancee’s friend’s place. He was drinking and playing guitar, when I told him I was having contractions 5 minutes apart he took a big swig of his beer and asked me, “well what do you want me to do?” and refused to leave. So I had to call HIS father (the only person who would answer my phone call at 2am) to drive me to the hospital. He slept the whole time in the waiting room then when he brought me home the next day told my fiancee I made the whole thing up.
When my water broke in the hospital while I was in active labor, my fiancee was dead asleep in the chair next to me. I tried hitting him with a wash basin to wake him up to tell him my water broke and he even slept through that, so I had to fish around for the call button to tell the nurses. When they picked up and said, “can I help you?” I was like, “YEAH MY WATER BROKE LADY!”
Life.
Our first night in the hospital following the birth of my first child, I slept on the cot while my husband slept in the hospital bed. We got some strange looks from the nurses. I didn’t actually mind though. Unlike him, I can sleep just about anywhere.
My husband left while I was in labor to do office stuff and errends!!!!!!! I was told later by people that they told him “he better make his way to the hospital, cause his wife will be angry at him.” He shows up right when I have to push and of course he wants to be there. I could not even look at him, I just wanted to kick his fat face. I’m still pissed at that.. Next time I when he runs errends, I want to change rooms and have specific orders not to tell him which room I’m in.
My first son-I got my epidural and it was set up for me to press a button to re-administer as need be. 3 hours into contractions I say wow these are getting bad I’m thinking to push the button…he says while sitting behind MY laptop and watching tv “it’s probably better if you don’t”. 2nd son- emergency csection….he says something along the lines of,”it’s not that bad you don’t have to do anything this time!”
I had 5 children and each had a crazy moment! 1. Dr asked if it was ok to play music in the delivery room, I said sure as long as it wasn’t Bach or Opera….well lord and behold as I’m pushing the song “like a virgin” from Madonna comes on, my husband then says, there’s no virgin in here! 2. As with most women, we all worry if we will poop while pushing, well I kept saying I need to poop as I’m pushing my husband blurts out, you can poop now! 3. As I was pushing, I kept saying omg my back is killing me (back labor) and the Dr. Actually told me to shut up and push, he was in the wrong place to say that, he got kicked! 4. I had very fast deliveries and when I was needing to push, the Dr walked away to get new gloves, apparently the one he had on ripped so he tells me to push I scream she’s coming out, he made it just in time to catch her! 5. Again while pushing the Dr said oh my this boy has a big head full of hair and my husband looks and said omg, she is going to need a few extra stitches to fix that! I wanted to punch him! All said and done all my labors and deliveries were memorable as they should be, my kids are all grown with kids of their own!
When getting my epidural, which I’m terrified of needles I might add, I told hubs to not look at it because he’d flinch and then I’d know and panic even more. So they apparently hit a nerve and my leg spontaneously kicked out, causing me to freak. All I know after that was my mom stepping in and trying to get me to lay down and calm down. After about five minutes we all realized my husband was no longer in the room. When a nurse stepped out, she finds him PASSED OUT on the floor of the hall way. At least he made it out of the room haha.
When I was in active labor, my husband ordered a pizza and had it delivered to the L/D room, then ate it in front of me, while I smelled it and couldn’t have any. I was in labor starting at about noon- we had eaten lunch!- and this was at 3p.m. so it’s not like he was starving or couldn’t have waited! He saved me 2 pieces (generous, right?!) but our older 2 kids grabbed them the second they came in to see me and the new baby and I never did get to eat.
My 2 year old spilled toys all over the room and my husband was like “are you going to pick that up” to me in labor.
While in induced labor with my second child, my now ex husband was watching ghost rider on the TV in labor and delivery. I was practicing my breathing because she was sunny side up instead of facing the floor. He half turns his head and asks if I’m OK because it sounds like I sprung a leak. I swear if the remote would not have been attached to that bed I would have thrown it upside his head.
Mine decided not even 6 hours after our son was born to go outside to “smoke” which had taken 30 minutes +, I went out to check on him only to see him having intercourse with his ex in the hospital parking lot.
Well. Yours is much more “what a f***head!” than “oh that’s so funny”. So sorry you had to go through that.
After my water broke, I jumped in the shower and when I got out I went into his closet because I couldn’t fit into any of my t shirts. As I was putting on one of his t shirts he yells “NO.. NOT that shirt.” He then proceeds with “It’s my favorite shirt and I don’t want you to stretch it out. The next day after giving birth the doctor came to visit and he asked her “are you sure there isn’t another baby in there? It looks like there is.”
OMG!!! Men are such douches.
While in labor with our first of three children where I was over a week late, my husband became obsessed with not having the car seat installed in advance. He became completely OCD and would not stop asking the nurse car seat questions. It got go annoying and went on for so long that the nurse promised him that even though she was legally not suppossed to she would go out to the car before he left the hospital days later with our baby (who hadn’t yet been delivered) to make sure the car seat was in safely. This settled him somewhat but he still left within hours of the birth to drive to the fire station and have the seat installed and checked. He then drove us home going 35 mph on the Expressway. Fast forward to the birth of baby #3 and times have changed;)
Mine is very inquisitive and so me , worrying and me, who freaks out about everything when reality hit as my feet were being put up to push, after 16 hours of labor, 3 rounds of patosin and epideral pushed back through 3 times, had my nurse and my mother, who luckily was in the room, while he held my hand and every time they said “PUSH” he had to see what was going on down there and give me a play by play!!! Needless to say, he needed more than an epideral for his hand, and much more if I hadn’t been numb from the waist down by the end of it all!
Really concerned that so many guys are complete idiots as fathers. Maybe these guys needed some pre-parenting classes or something (maybe some common sense classes would do them some good).
I’ve been through 3 births with my wife (all c-sections, though the first was an emergency after 12 hours of pushing). I was with her as long as I was allowed to be, but she also did really well. In fact after our last two kids (like day after birth) she has mentioned casually that she’d be up for doing it again “It really wasn’t that bad, but it’s so worth it to get these angels here.”
These are all so funny. I have to admit though that I must have gotten a good one. He is the oldest of 11 kids so by the time we had our first, he knew what to do. I’m pregnant with our 5th now and don’t have a story like these. He stays by my side through the entire thing and only leaves when he has to so they can do the epidural. Even then he holds his phone in his hand so he can get my text to come back in.
My first labor was incredibly long, 36 hours at the hospital. I was starved by the time I was dilated to 8cm. My husband ordered a Pizza and brought it into my room. The whole ward was filled with the smell, but of course I couldn’t have any. I asked him to take it out of the hospital but he refused. Finally another 3 hours later (with the smell still pervading the room) I finally gave birth. The nurses joked with me and asked if I still wanted a piece of pizza, but I was so nauseated by then I couldn’t. Finally got dry toast and juice the next morning.
I guess the roles were sort of switched up for us. We had gone to Walmart to do groceries, and my water broke as I was going to the bathroom before shopping. When I told him, my husband flipped out and exclaimed we had to go home, and my response was “it’s ok, I’ve got a pad. We need to do groceries”.
Even though labor took 9 hours and it was totally fine, my husband still gives me a hard time about it.
I ended up needing a c-section with my daughter. My husband was great during the surgery… Until they were about to pull my daughter out. The Doctor asked him if he wanted to look, and of course h said yes. As he stood up and looked over the sheet, he said, “oh my God, your stomach looks like an ice fishing hole!” That was not a visual I needed.
Yeah I feel *a little* better now because my husband was pretty good except he complained about the pull out couch and MY SISTER stayed the night with me cause he DIDN’T! Men. Oh and he almost fainted when I was getting the epidural. Mixture of seeing me getting the epidural and me squeezing his hand till his face was white. HA! He won’t admit this of course.
After I drove myself to the hospital and it was confirmed I was in Labor, I called my husband at work to tell him to come on it was time. He was 20 minutes away but it took him 2 hours to show up. Then the nurse brings him the “coach” goodie bag which contained a burger chips an apple and a cookie which he proceeded to eat in front of me and my doc wouldn’t even let me have Ice, I got a wash cloth to keep my lips from drying out….I told him I hope he choked on his goodie bag! And finally after 24 hours of no food and you know the small task of giving birth I was finally able to eat and I asked him to please go across the street and get me a chicken sandwich and he said he was too tired and was gonna just go home! GRRR
I went into labor with my second child with my now ex-husband still sleeping soundly. I went to shower in our adjoining bathroom, the contractions got bad enough that I couldn’t even finish washing my hair. I yelled for him to get up and after taking his sweet time, he decided it was disgusting that I didn’t shave my legs (or any other body parts) to prep for the nurses. He was so embarrassed and I wanted to strangle him. When we got to the hospital, I mentioned his ridiculous concerns to the nurses and they ripped him a new one. Then he left to get some breakfast, wasn’t there for the water breaking and almost missed me pushing. Worst birthing partner ever! Not any better of a father either, glad to be away from him!
I know I am coming late to the game. I saw this posted on my niece’s timeline. I had to share. My husband did not do one stupid thing during labor he did multiple stupid things. My water broke at 4:00 a.m. I was only 34 weeks pregnant. When I woke up the hubby he said my water could not have possibly broken and started to go back to sleep. I am frantically on the phone with the Dr. who told me to go right to the hospital right this very minute. I got hubby up and we ran out the door. We had only attended one birthing class and had nothing packed. Arriving at the hospital I learned my water had broken (geez like I could not figure that out) but I was dilated zero. The whole time I was in labor my husband complained and complained the chair was uncomfortable and was killing his back. I was in terrible back labor. Talk about back pain killing your back. He was hungry and had to go get food and then eat it in the room. Labor started really picking up at about 7:00 p.m. (yes it was super slow) but hubby had Caddy Shack on the TV and did not want to turn it off. He needed something to do. Labor was “boring.” To this day I cannot watch that movie. At about midnight he told the nurses that he had to get some sleep he was so tired and his back was killing him from the chair. He went off to another room to rest, stating he has been up all night and day. Oh sure, I was resting comfortably in back labor. I was not dilated enough for the epidural and because my son was premature they would not give me any pain killers. I am not a screamer so I sat on the bed for hours wishing the pain would stop. My contractions were off the charts and the nurse kept insisting I lay on my back. Finally, hubby shows up from his nap complaining the nap was not long enough and he needed something to eat so he goes off in search of food. One minute I was dilated to five which took 24 hours then in 30 minutes I was dilated to ten. Hubby comes back from breakfast and I am pushing. He asked everyone why we did not wait for him. My son was face up and stuck. I pushed for four hours. Finally I was taken to the delivery room but still could not get the baby out. My hubby kept telling me to just push already. This is a gross part so if you are squeamish skip down. Remember, I do not have an epidural or pain killers. The Dr had to cut and cut and cut to finally get the baby out. When I say cut and cut I mean it. My son was born and was whisked away to the Nicu. Hubby went with our son. The doctor stitched me up for 3 hours. Not exaggerating. We went to my room and right away hubby needed to go home to shower and sleep. He had been up all night, you know. That evening he called and said he could not come back to the hospital because he was “sick” and did not want to get the baby sick. My son was born on a Saturday. Hubby showed up on Sunday for a little while. I went home on Monday but the baby stayed. On Tuesday hubby went back to work. I was driving back and forth from the hospital by myself with my 1,000 stitches barely able to sit let alone drive for the rest of the week. My son finally came home the next Sunday. I thought hubby would take Monday to Wednesday off, Thursday was Thanksgiving, so I could finally rest and he could help take care of the baby. Nope went to work and complained the crying baby kept him up at night.
At 37 weeks I went in for an ultrasound. My dr couldn’t detect fetal breathing or movement (although I had felt my son kick right before my appt). My dr told me he’d meet me at the hospital. I WALKED home, woke up my S.O. and told him something was wrong with the baby and I needed to go to the hospital immediately. He said OK and went back to sleep. Called my best friend to drive me, who had just had her 2nd child less than a month before. When I got to the hospital they told me baby was okay, but I was in labor (never felt contractions before as my 1st was a c section, I thought it was gas!) and we were moving my scheduled c section up from the next week to that day. I waited from 11am til 10pm until a spot opened up in the OR (contractions sure didn’t feel like gas at that point!). My best friend stayed with me the whole time and was in the OR with me. This was my S.O.’s first child. He didn’t come to the hospital until our 4TH day there. At 5am. Lied to the nurses (said he was my fiance) to get in as it was WAY past visiting hours. Woke me AND the baby up. His excuse was this was his first child and he was scared.
*oh and then took a trip to Vegas for 5 days a week after our son was born because “HE needed a break”
My husband went across the street from the hospital to Hooters to eat lunch & have beers with his buddies while I was in labor.
My water broke as I was walking up the stairs to our house. Our six-year-old praying to tell his daddy that mommy had Peed her pants. When daddy got to where mommy was in seeing that my water had broke he decided it was time for him to take a shower and throw his pants in the dryer. So there I stood with my water broke, wet pants and all, waiting for my husband to get out of the shower.