Book Giveaway: "Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures"
It seems a little silly for me to introduce you all to Amber Dusick. I'm pretty positive, if you are a parent with a computer, you are already well aware of her. But, just in case you are living in the back of my coat closet in the storage bin that houses all the ski clothes I haven't worn since 1992, I will explain.
Amber Dusick writes an extremely popular blog called Parenting Illustrated with Crappy Pictures in which she writes parenting stories illustrated with crappy pictures. If that doesn't sound like the funniest thing you have ever heard than you are not using your imagination. Check out "Going Viral, The Puking Kind" and "Public Toilets Vs Newly Potty Trained Girls and Boys" to fully understand the genius behind a badly drawn baby.
Amber came out with her first book this week (Congratulations, Amber!) called "Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures" (obviously) and I could not be more excited to read itβ my copy is currently en route.
To help promote Amber's book, I've got two things going on today.
1) I'm giving away a copy! For a chance to win, leave a comment under this post.
2) Amber did me the supreme honor of illustrating Crappy Pictures for one of my old posts.
I must say, I'm feeling a little weird being allβ Amber is so hilarious! Now, read something of mine! But a mom blogger must take thrills where she can get them and seeing myself and Mazzy illustrated in crappy pictures might be my biggest brush with greatness since Christain Slater autographed a playbill for me in the early 90's. (No, I was not wearing my ski clothes at the time.)
Amber chose the post herself (it's from just before Mazzy turned two) and I'm hoping that for many of you, it is your first time reading it.
Please notice Amber's attention to detail. Crappy Mazzy has a Crappy Bow in her hair.
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ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A KIDDIE PARK?
Written by Me, Crappy Pictures by Amber Dusick
I loved amusement parks as a kid (the scarier the ride, the better) so I was super excited to take Mazzy to her first kiddie park. I figured she was too small to go on most of the rides but at least she'd go on the carousel and kick some ass at Wack-A-Mole.
Then the ticket booth lady said Mazzy could go on ALL BUT TWO of the rides.
REALLY? Are you sure you are not mistaking my kid for the fourteen-year-old with the neck tattoo behind me?
Yes, she was sure.
We started easy with a train that went around in a circle at .00000002 miles per hour. I rode next to Mazzy with my arm laid over her lap just in case she tried to wriggle free from the seatbelt, jump out action-movie-style and scream βThomas!β before running headfirst into the front car.
Miraculously, Mazzy sat still, tightly grasping the steering wheel for the entirety of the ride.
Next we moved on to a boat ride where Mazzy continued to surprise by not diving head first into one foot of water.
With two successes under our belt, we got more adventurous and tried the plane ride, the big slide and the mini roller coaster. Mazzy emerged smiling after each one and suddenly I had visions of future mother-daughter upside-down roller coaster rides, alpine slide races and sharing a tube in the Tunnel of Terror at Splish Splash.
I thought about how much different I was going to be from my own mother, whoβd sit on the sidelines waving and snapping pictures no matter how much I begged her to come along.
βGo with your dad," she'd always say. "I belong on the ground."
At the end of the day, we had one more ride ticket left. After scanning the park, I decided to take Mazzy on a harmless looking apparatus with a cheerful sounding name.
We sat side-by-side as the "Happy Swing" started slow and steady. I yelled βwhee!β on each downward motion, just in case Mazzy was unaware we were having fun.
Then the swing picked up speed.
Faster, higher, back and forth.
Hmmm. This seems a bit more dangerous than it did from the ground.
Faster, higher, back and forth.
I found myself gripping Mazzyβs leg to make sure she stayed put.
Faster, higher, back and forth.
Suddenly, I felt my stomach drop as if someone had just pushed me off the side of a cliff.
Faster, higher, back and forth.
My brain rattled inside my head as my fingers practically bore holes into Mazzyβs thigh.
Faster, higher, back and forth.
We were going to be thrown from the swing. I was sure of it.
Faster, higher, back and forth.
OH MY GOD WOULD THIS THING EVER END??!
I tried not to puke as I angled my head to make sure my baby wasn't crying. Then I offered her the only reassurance I could.
Mazzy looked like she was in a state of shockβ staring straight ahead, eyes wide as her hair whipped wildly above her. I was positive that if she survived the ride, this would be our first and last trip to the amusement park. She would forever be the little girl scarred by a crazy motherβs overzealous decision to take her on the most nausea-inducing ride in the park.
Finally, the swing began to slow and my hand loosened itβs grip on Mazzyβs leg. My stomach tried and failed to settle back into place as the ride screeched to it's upchuck-worthy end.
I looked at my poor 21-month-old daughter, prepared to plead forgiveness and assure her that this was the last time Mommy would ever place her in harm's way.
Mazzy was expressionless, still staring straight ahead. I touched her leg gently.
βMazzy, itβs over, I promise.β
Nothing.
Oh my god. I'd killed her.
Then suddenly, her eyes sprang back to life and her arms flew over her head.
In that moment, I became my mother.
Go with your dad. I belong on the ground.
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GIVEAWAY RULES
To win a copy of Amber Dusick's Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, just leave a comment below. Winner will be announced next Friday. If you can't wait that long, you can purchase a copy by clicking the Amazon link below.
Big thanks to Amber for drawing me in slimming black with lots of hair!
Thank you both for the work you do, cheering us up as parents! It’s so good to see the funny side of our crazy parenting existence π
Again! Whee!
Great story! I was waiting to see a Crappy Picture of either you or Mazzy hurling! That would have been me after that ride! I happily stay on the ground.
Can’t wait to read the book – she’s hilarious!
I really liked that post when Amber illustrated your story π I have a feeling it will be the same way for my 17 month old and I LOL!
I love your posts. Very creative!
Awesome! It’s reassuring knowing other Mothers experience our same fears and therapeutic seeing them drawn out in “funny form”!
I’ve only recently discovered her and i hope i can win her book! Sooo funny!
So funny! I think our equilibrium is forever altered once we have kids. However, I’m looking forward to the day my kids are old enough to go on the big roller coasters with me π
That is an awesome story. Would love to win, Amber is hilarious!
Love this! And now you are on my list of must-reads in the middle of the night…and I have three kids and none of them sleep. I’m up a lot! (A book with crappy pictures would make me feel better!!! But not less tired.)
This is the must have book for every parent out there! So funny but completely true and relatable! I cannot wait to read it!
Amber’s blog is hysterical!! I just recently had my third kid and I’ll scroll through her blog on my iPad during those endless middle of the night feedings – it keeps me laughing when I’m so tired I want to cry.
that was my first time reading that story ~ awesome!!
My daughter is 23 months right now, and I am pretty certain that is how she would act as well (as for my 8 year old son ~ he would be on the sidelines watching her!!)
I SO want it! Amber has the most hilarious sense of humour :>)
So! Funny!
Lol hilarious! It sounds very similar, as I’m “that” mama as well π
I love both of your blogs so much!
Hilarious! I’m the “I’ll stay on the ground” mama, for sure!
I belong on the ground too… Great story!
Cool love it
I can’t wait to dig into this book π
I want this book so bad! Her stories brighten up my day! I hope I win! =)
Love, love, love this story. It’s like the time I took my son on the Tower of Terror, and I was pretty convinced afterwards that he’d need an enormous amount of therapy afterwards.
Amber if hilarious and your story is definitely up there.
Hilarious π
I would love a copy of her book! Thank you!
That story was hysterical. Love Amber’s crappy pictures.
Her blog posts are so funny! My favorite is still the toddler in the car seat. Cracks me up every time!
I know nothing of the blogosphere but tripped upon crappypictures and now you have another devoted fan!
Loved it. I just bought the book and am anxiously waiting for it to arrive in the mail but would love to win a copy for a friend who is a new mom and I’m way overdue for getting her a gift. This will be perfect.
Oh the joy. I remember being on a ferris wheel with my oldest boy when he was about that age. We were the ONLY PEOPLE on it. He started to scream after about the first go around. I was pleading with the guy to stop it, and he just stared right through me. I think he was on crack. My son shook for about an hour after that. Fast forward to now – almost 10 years later – he loves that sort of thing now and I’m still traumatized!
I love Amber’s blog and would love to have her book!
LOVE to win this!
Brave Mommy you are!
I just LOVE Amber’s writing– teaming up was a great idea!
Would love a copy of Amber’s new book! π
Hysterical! I can totally see this happening with me and my kids. My four year old loves rides, and I’m sure his little brother will be the same way.
I religiously read Amber’s blog, and would love a copy of her book.
Funny π
For the life of me, I cannot remember if I commented when I read this the first time. At any rate, I love the story with pictures and cannot wait to read the book!
Hilarious π
Love the crappy family! Hope I win!
Loved the post and the pictures. Sounds like me after Splash Mountian at DisneyWorld with my then 5 year old.
I’m one of those moms who belongs on the ground!
Hilarious! Love it.
I loved all things amusement park too! But I think I’ll be waiting on the ground when my son wants to go on rides. Crappy Pictures is hilarious.
Awesome story! Glad to have found your blog π
Such a funny story! Things are different when you become a mom! I find myself doing things I used to tease my mom for doing.
Amber Dusick is hilarious! I wish she’d illustrate my family’s Crappy adventures.
I’ll admit I had to scroll down to see if Crappy Mazzy liked the ride before reading the whole thing. I’ll also admit this is my third attempt to win the Crappy book. You are both very funny!
Your story is great! Would love to win a copy of her book. π
really funny story! i love amusement park rides and so far, my 6 year old daughter does too.
(yay amber!!!)
That’s a great story! I’d love a copy of the book.
My son has loved rides since hi very first one. Lat years at not yet 4 years old he did that giant slingshot trampoline thing he loved it, I was happy when it was over its. Little scary watching your child being shot into the air. My daughter loved her 1st ride but hates any of the Cars that rock when you put a quarter in lol
we had the same experience with the tower of terror this year with my 4 year old son. he looked terrified the whole time and my husband and i were sitting on both sides of him reassuring him it would be ok. when the ride stopped he looked up at us and yelled. that was so AWESOME. lets do it again. No way, go with your granny i’m staying on the ground π great blog and I love Amber too.
Haha! I used to love those rides…until I was about 14 and my stomach and inner ears didn’t agree with me that they were fun. About two years ago we went with a friend to their work picnic at a local amusement park. Naturally, the 2.5 year old wants to ride some rides. So we put him on a mini ride that traveled in an oval, whipping them horribly (ok, it really turned out to be slightly) around each end of the oval. I was sure my own crappy boy was going to flop over, conk his head on the car he was riding in, and cry his heart out for the rest of the terrifying 2.5 minutes the ride lasted…he did not. His eyes got wide around the first end…and then he laughed. He kept laughing the whole ride. And my shoulders and back eased up considerably with each whip around.
I love that story it reminds me of my kids and the rides that I have taken them on ( I have a fear of falling ) but some how I manage to suck it up and do it , I would love to win a copy of her book
Great post! I always hoped when I had kids, that they would love roller coasters as much as I do. Love Crappy Pictures and would LOVE a copy of the book!
I’d love this book!
I think I will be that mom that belongs on the ground too.
Laugh until I cry most times!
Too funny! I love it
Love the kiddie park story and Amber’s blog is great, would love to win a copy of her book.
Hahaha.. your post is hilarious, i also belong on the ground! I’d like to win amber’s book please.
I love finding new funny Mom blogs. Imagine where I would be now if a Facebook friend had never introduced me to C rappy Pictures! And now Amber has brought me here, double win! π Looking forward to lots more funny!
That is a wonderful story about how we become our mothers even if we SWEAR we won’t. 10 years ago I didn’t ever want to become my mother and now I’m pretty sure I have failed, and don’t even mind. π
Yey all my friends have to get her book as christmas prezzies this year
Awesome!!! Love the illustration!
I can’t wait to take my son on some rides this summer! I loved your story and would also love a copy of Amber’s book!
How adorable! I took my 3 year old to the fair last year and he wouldn’t get on anything without me. I wasn’t allowed on the baby rides and he wasn’t allowed on the bigger rides. So we managed to do the giant slide a million times together and we sat in some spinning teacups. He was terrified of trying anything alone, even the train that went .00000002 miles per hour. He had fun on everything, but I HAD to hold his hand. hahahaha
I also have a daugther named Mazzy. And this sounds like a day in my life. Hilarious!
Too funny! (Becoming your mom ain’t so bad) π
Amber is awesome.
My son (Who is 6) won’t go on anything even remotely fast looking! And I always .make my husband go with him! Lobe Ambers stuff!
i hope I win, I love the stories and would love to win a copy!!
Fantastic story..I remember riding on the swings with my 4 year old daughter and she tried to STAND UP!! I pictured both of us flying off the ride and it wasn’t pretty…as soon as were were safely back on the ground I vowed never again, she of course wanted to go right back on π
LOVE
Great story – I hadn’t seen it before… but made even better with the crappy pictures. π
I love mommy blogs, even though I’m only an aunt and have no kids of my own. I would love a copy of Amber’s book!
too funny! i just added you to my favorites links!
I hadn’t seen this one before. Love Amber!
As soon as my son was tall enough, he insisted on riding the biggest coaster in the park repeatedly. I scream my head off every time, and the 5 year old next to me just grins. Crazy!
Love it! I can’t wait to get a copy of the book.
That’s hillarious! I have to admit, I think my heart stopped at one point in your story. Darn maternal instincts.
My parents took me to an amusement park. They put me and my older sister on a harmless looking set of swings. The ride started just spinning around in circles. Then it rose up and up and up and up. And then it tilted. We were up so high I could see the whole park and was clinging on for dear life trying not to fall out. My mom was screaming for them to shut it off and get me out lol. Unlike your daughter I hated it and don’t ride amusement park rides often. Glad your experience went better than mine! I still tease my parents about scarring me for life :P.
That is hilarious!! I recently took my 4 1/2 year old to Disneyland. Not his first time there, I thought he would enjoy the rides like he did when he was 3 (he LOVED them then). So, first day we went on the “kiddie” coaster in ToonTown and he hid under my arm. I was like, what happened to the kid that went squealing through the turns with me last time? Oh well, it was late, maybe he was tired. Next day, up early, first thing in we go to the Matterhorn. He curled in a ball on his seat the whole time. *sigh* I wanted my fun , ride buddy back! But every time we got off something he said it was fun, even though he hid lol. And every now and then he would say he wanted to leave….maybe it will be better when he’s older (I hope).
Love the post AND the crappy pictures! π
I love this post, and I love Amber’s drawings of it! Really made me laugh. Last fall my sister and I took our kids to the pumpkin farm and let them ride the barrel train. Somehow, once all the kids paired up, the 2 three year olds were paired together for the ride. My sister and I stood along the gate, white-knuckled with fear, sure that any moment one or both of the boys would jump (or fall) out. They did just fine, but it was the end of rides for us for awhile, I can’t handle that stress!
This story honestly had me laughing out loud! It really hit close to home! Thanks for all the laughs, you two!
Ha! That was hilarious. It was definitely all the more hilarious with Amber’s pictures thrown in. I used to consider myself the amusement park queen. I grew up with one nearby and always had a summer pass. My sister and I would spend the whole day there while my parents were at work (back before the world got so scary that parents became too scared to leave their children unattended at a big place like this). I now have an 8 year old and almost 7 year old and I’m already finding that I can’t take the twirly rides near as well as in my youth, but I’m trying to tough it out so I don’t become my mom (or yours).
This made my day.
Glad to have found your post through Amber!
I would like to win this book. The laughter would help me triumph over the exhaustion of raising three boys 6, 4, & 2.
I love reading Amber’s blog and would love to win a copy of her new book!
Would absolutely LOVE to win a copy!
Great illustration of an already funny and sweet post π Thanks for the givewaway!
As if I didn’t already stay up too late FBing with my mom friends, now I’ve added your blog to my nightly phone-reads. My hubby thinks I’m having an affair with my iPhone—I cannot get enough of the hilarious stories and the drawings just take it over the top. Thanks so much for making this parenting thing feel more normal and a whole lot more fun!!
Love this story!! π
So true, Amber is super funny, glad to have found your site as well.
Oh my goodness! That was one of the funniest stories I have read in a long time! I thought for sure the story was going to end with you grabbing Mazzy’s arms and shaking her to get her to respon and then Mazzy throwing up all over you. (I know it’s a gross ending, but that is the logical progression on events based on my personal experiences.) I laughed so hard when Mazzy said “Again!” Thanks for sharing. =)
I think this book is going to be my go to baby shower gift. I love her site.
I loved the story, and love Crappy Pictures too!!! I can’t wait to read the book, if I win it or buy it!