They say hurricanes make a woman more likely to go into labor. They also say that about full moons. You know what else they say that about? Husbands who abandon their wives at 38 weeks pregnant to go on business trips during all of the above.
When the possibility of the trip came up earlier last week, I told Mike he should go. It seemed important, the impact of hurricanes on NYC are always way over-hyped (see "Hurricane Schmurricane" from last year) and I didn't feel anywhere close to ready to give birth.
But as Hurricane Sandy loomed closer and the warnings became scarier and scarier, I started to have second thoughts.
Once Mayor Bloomberg announced all NYC transporation would shut down as of 7pm Sunday night and schools would be closed on Monday (meaning Mazzy would be home all day, our nanny wouldn't be able to come in from Queens and I wouldn't be able to go to work), that's when I really started to panic.
I pictured being trapped in a two bedroom apartment during a massive power outage with an incredibly active two-year-old who is scared of the dark.
I pictured trying to explain to a toddler why television is no longer an option and trying unsuccessfully to compensate with flashlight shadow puppets.
I pictured running out of water and batteries and tissues (have I mentioned my sinus infection?) and using my daughter to beg our neighbors for canned soup.
I pictured my very pregnant self having contractions while trying to tote a two-year-old in a stroller 60 blocks to the hospital during a torrential downpour with 70mph winds.
And finally, I pictured the battery running out of my phone, and having no way to call my husband to let him know just how PISSED I was at him for leaving us.
Thankfully, Mike finally came to his senses and decided to stay home. About a half hour before leaving for the airport this evening.
Way to keep a pregnant lady on her toes, Mike!
You know one more thing that makes pregnant women go into early labor? STRESS.
So, even though we are now waiting out the storm as one big happy family, I am still a little pissed.
But don't worry, I had my revenge as soon as Mike dozed off on the couch. Sharpie mustache? Eyebrow shaving? Hand in a cup of warm water, perhaps?
Nope, those are all for frat boys and thirteen-year-old girls at sleepovers. I've got something much better…
Let the HUSBAND SHAMING begin!
If you would like to contribute a photo and you haven't married the kind of guy who would pose willingly, I recommend waiting until he falls asleep, making sure his head is obscured (for common decency's sake) and then snapping away. Then post it on the Mommy Shorts Fanpage.
Some other possibilities include…
"I pretend to sleep really heavily so my wife is always the one who has to attend to our children in the middle of the night."
Or…
"I go to the bathroom for an extended period of time to get out of child-watching duties."
Or my personal favorite…
On a final note, if I do not post tomorrow, it is either because we lost our power due to the hurricane, I went into early labor, or…
MY HUSBAND KILLED ME.
If you are on the East Coast, stay safe and dry!
LOL! There are SO many pictures I could contribute but I might prefer to keep my marriage intact at this point. He already grumbles at some of my way-more-innocuous blog posts.
Good luck – hope you don’t go into labor during the hurricane!
I love you man. I had to go back and re-read Hurricane Schmurricane. Just as funny today. I think that was really one of your best posts. Best of luck with the impending childbirth.
Somewhere out there is a guy who should be wearing that sign without the “almost.”
stay safe š
Good luck with the hurricane. Maybe you can name the new baby “Sandy.” (JK)
Oh, that is fabulous! So glad he stayed home. If not for that, this post wouldn’t have been nearly as funny. I mean, husband shaming? What’s better than that?
Stay safe! I can’t imagine a power outage with a two year old so I hope it’s not as bad as they say!
Ok, I was about to hunt down your husband and go “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!” Then I saw he (wisely) decided to stay.
Hopefully the storm won’t be as bad as they’re staying, but if he was gone, potentially unable to return because of travel issues, and the fact that second children *can* arrive faster once labor starts…
Of course, this means instead of going into labor during Sandy, you’ll likely deliver after your due date so he can go, “See, I could’ve left after all.”
Better than the alternative.
And ugh on the “stuck-in-house-with-no-power-with-child”. I have been there, done that (with sick kids no less) and really do not ever want to do so again.
Just keep the iPad and cells fully charged…
I live in Florida and all 3 of my kids were due during hurricane season. I was a wreck envisioning myself not being able to get to the hospital and having to give birth at home without an epidural. Actually, if you’re close to your due date, what they do is they let you and your husband go to the hospital with blankets and pillows and wait it out in the hallway. I couldn’t even imagine!
Stay safe! My hubs laughed at the second picture (I didn’t read the other two examples because I’m totally guilty of both. But in all fairness I spent the first year of my sons life sleeping on the couch in his room so that my hubs could sleep, so he TOTALLY deserves to be the toddler wrangler in the middle of the night at least 85% of the time!)
Stay safe! Don’t have that baby yet! All of my pregnant friends are due within the next few weeks so Non-contracting thoughts to all! lol
Glad to know he didn’t leave you, saty safe!
I left the East Coast 14 months ago for Sunny California… right after Hurricane Irene. My thoughts are with you… stay safe (and pregnant) til this thing passes on Tuesday.
Now that Mike stayed home, you won’t have the baby for two more weeks. Naturally.
So be safe and joyful.
You’re almost there…
I have to admit, I’m usually the first to defend working dads, but as I read this I came close to yelling “Dude, stay home!” out loud in my workplace. And, those photos? Just plain funny.
Hunker down, my American neighbours! (Yes, we write neighbour with a ‘u’ up here.)
Glad he came to his senses!
If it makes you feel better, when I was 7 months pregnant with my son, my then-husband decided to take a vacation. To Botswana. With his mother. During our anniversary. I’m totally not making that up. Tell your husband he chose wisely.
LOVE the photos! I can’t beleive you were initially ok with him going away!! My husband was about to go to Europe for work when I was 34 weeks pregnant and I begged him not to go (I had a very difficult pregnancy). His initial response.. “how many people go into labor 6-weeks early?”. A few people in his office advised him not to go, which he actually listened to. Would you believe my water broke at 34-weeks – two days after he was scheduled to fly to Europe!! I just thank my lucky stars he didn’t go, but I still shake my head at the thought of his laissez-faire attitude
I think you’re detracting from your husband’s love cache and this is hurting him and hindering you from celebrating the deeply satisfying soul union that is marriage…. Ha! Just kidding. This shit’s hilarious.
The fact that Mike finds this shit funny is the glue that holds our marriage together.
OMG for half a second i thought you were seriouse. I was like ummmm does she read this blog often….and who says stuff like that? then i laughed pretty hard!
Hilarious.
The only way you can possibly get out of this is because you are about to deliver a baby. Too good.
I, on the other hand, have no cards like that up my sleeve, and since I don’t want to raise all these kids by myself, I’m going to leave you to the fun.
Stay hydrated, and stay safe!
Shame on him. Thankfully, nothing can take away your sense of humor. Be safe and dry!
Hahaha! This is hilarious!
Hope you guys don’t lose power (and that we don’t either)!
I totally had one written up for my husband! It read “I am an electrical engineer yet have no idea how to use a dishwasher, vacuum or washing machine”. But then he pointed out if I did that he would hold a sign up to me saying “I am a Registered Nurse and yet I totally think an ice-cream diet is a legit weight loss technique and I also think it is entirely plausible to have a medical condition that causes instant headaches when my husband snuggles up for sex”. Sooooooo …..
Husband shaming- love it. It’s only fair, after all the brave mamas who shamed themselves…Last year, my husband went to Florida on a business trip when I was 38 weeks pregnant. During hurricane season. And we actually almost ended up getting hit by hurricane Irene while he was away (although it ended up just being a tropical storm here and we didn’t even lose power). As it happened, my daughter was born a week late, so the business trip worked out okay. Stay safe!
Haha! Love it. And he deserved the shaming for thinking of leaving you. My husband left me at 38 weeks to go to Vegas! And I had an 18 mth old at home. Gah! He’s lucky we’re still married:)
Husband need to take care of their wife during pregnancy.
You’re like a super hero of matrimonial justice!
So funny – WHY can’t the little dears make a bed? What is so hard about doing it properly?
Hey – I’m a troll – never post but starting to get worried!!!!! Hope you guys are just waiting out the storm – praying for you all!!!! Usually you are the first of my favorites to post š
That’s sweet :). My husband would kill me for doing such a thing to him.
Ugh, the last 2 days at home with our 2 yr old were kinda nightmarish. But my heart goes out to you b/c at least we had electricity, our phones, and TV. LOL on the hubby photo.
[…] Previous Post Next Post 11/05/12 Husband Shaming: Blogger Edition Remember last week when IĀ "husband shamed" MikeĀ for almost flying to San Francisco the day before Hurricane Sandy hit? Seems like forever ago. […]
Pregnancy is very crucial time for every women and husband must needs to take care of his wife.