LindsayLohan_070838Apparently, Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized for “exhaustion” yet again.

Wow. This is getting really tragic. The girl must not have a single Starbucks located anywhere near her home!

Or maybe she forgot to furnish her house with a bed and her local hospital has the cheapest accomodations? Plus an ambulance makes for a great designated driver!

Not that a designated driver ever seemed necessary before…

So, judging by the frequency of Lindsay’s sleep-deprived hospitalizations, the girl must have five or six kids, right?

I mean, do you know anyone who has the right to claim “exhaustion” besides a parent??

What’s that you say? Lindsay is NOT A MOM????

She’s staying up all night, every night of her own volition? Without a crying baby that she has to nurse at all hours or a toddler that demands breakfast at 5am or a kid that must be carpooled to 1500 extracurricular activities a day???

Whoa. That girl has some serious issues.

Someone should tell Lindsay that EXHAUSTION is not what happens when you remain at a party even after the bar runs out of Red Bull.

Exhaustion is chasing after a runaway toddler at a playground while you’re four months pregnant.

Exhaustion is stepping out of important meetings to pump in a closet three times a day and then staying up all night to nurse.

Exhaustion is singing the same stupid song for the 100th time while simultaneously cooking dinner that you know your child will just throw on the floor.

Speaking of which, if I’m feeling especially exhausted, can I check MYSELF into a hospital?

Because having someone spoonfeed me Jello and give me a sponge bath sounds WAY BETTER than changing diapers, doing laundry and earning a living.

Nickmomlogo300x125Today, over at NickMom, they are featuring the “Top 9 Responses from Moms to Celebrity Exhaustion”.

Like #8: “My HMO denied exhaustion-treatment coverage, because apparently it’s been a ‘pre-existing condition’ since I gave birth.”

Wait, wait, WAIT. 

You’re writing for NickMom now?


NickMom and I have started this really cool partnership where I get to feature some of their funniest content. In return, if you click over to their site and scroll to the bottom, you’ll see they’ve got a little Mommy Shorts logo with links to my three latest posts.

Cool, right? I’m feeling very BIG TIME about this.

Anyway, it works for me since NickMom features the very funny writing of some of my favorite bloggers— Nicole from Ninja Mom, Brenna from Suburban Snapshots and Una from The Sassy Curmudgeon to name a few.

PLUS. It kind of gives me a day off every now and then.

Which is nice, because maybe then I can get some SLEEP and avoid HOSPITALIZATION.

Right, Lindsay?


More NickMom content you should check out:

The Price You Pay for a Few Minutes of Peace and Quiet

Field Guide to Facebook Moms: The Super Hippie Mom

Why Do the Kids Keep Sleeping in the Bed with Us?