Apparently, Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized for “exhaustion” yet again.
Wow. This is getting really tragic. The girl must not have a single Starbucks located anywhere near her home!
Or maybe she forgot to furnish her house with a bed and her local hospital has the cheapest accomodations? Plus an ambulance makes for a great designated driver!
Not that a designated driver ever seemed necessary before…
So, judging by the frequency of Lindsay’s sleep-deprived hospitalizations, the girl must have five or six kids, right?
I mean, do you know anyone who has the right to claim “exhaustion” besides a parent??
What’s that you say? Lindsay is NOT A MOM????
She’s staying up all night, every night of her own volition? Without a crying baby that she has to nurse at all hours or a toddler that demands breakfast at 5am or a kid that must be carpooled to 1500 extracurricular activities a day???
Whoa. That girl has some serious issues.
Someone should tell Lindsay that EXHAUSTION is not what happens when you remain at a party even after the bar runs out of Red Bull.
Exhaustion is chasing after a runaway toddler at a playground while you’re four months pregnant.
Exhaustion is stepping out of important meetings to pump in a closet three times a day and then staying up all night to nurse.
Exhaustion is singing the same stupid song for the 100th time while simultaneously cooking dinner that you know your child will just throw on the floor.
Speaking of which, if I’m feeling especially exhausted, can I check MYSELF into a hospital?
Because having someone spoonfeed me Jello and give me a sponge bath sounds WAY BETTER than changing diapers, doing laundry and earning a living.
Today, over at NickMom, they are featuring the “Top 9 Responses from Moms to Celebrity Exhaustion”.
Like #8: “My HMO denied exhaustion-treatment coverage, because apparently it’s been a ‘pre-existing condition’ since I gave birth.”
Wait, wait, WAIT.
You’re writing for NickMom now?
Ummm…no.
NickMom and I have started this really cool partnership where I get to feature some of their funniest content. In return, if you click over to their site and scroll to the bottom, you’ll see they’ve got a little Mommy Shorts logo with links to my three latest posts.
Cool, right? I’m feeling very BIG TIME about this.
Anyway, it works for me since NickMom features the very funny writing of some of my favorite bloggers— Nicole from Ninja Mom, Brenna from Suburban Snapshots and Una from The Sassy Curmudgeon to name a few.
PLUS. It kind of gives me a day off every now and then.
Which is nice, because maybe then I can get some SLEEP and avoid HOSPITALIZATION.
Right, Lindsay?
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More NickMom content you should check out:
The Price You Pay for a Few Minutes of Peace and Quiet
Field Guide to Facebook Moms: The Super Hippie Mom
Why Do the Kids Keep Sleeping in the Bed with Us?
I didn’t know what exhaustion was until I was pregnant and trying to cope with a toddler who was climbing everything. I was glad to get to the hospital (to give birth) so I was able to take a break from the toddler. Oh yeah, then having 2 kids and a hubby demanding meals made while you’re still coping with learning how to walk again after giving birth. Let me play my violin for you Lindsay. Great post Ilana.
I have a 2 1/2 year old Energizer Bunny and a 6 week old breastfeeding baby. Lindsay Lohan can kiss my a**.
“Exhaustion is singing the same stupid song for the 100th time while simultaneously cooking dinner that you know your child will just throw on the floor.” LOVE IT!
I have 4 kids. One is a constant nurser. If I could, I would pinch Lindsay Lohan with my free hand. If I showed up at a hospital and asked them to admit me for exhaustion, I would be escorted off the premises, with a boot. Celebs, “They’re just like us!”
Lets just hope Lindsay never has to find out what exhaustion really is, because goodness only knows we don’t need that girl to procreate.
My personal exhaustion came months 4 and 6 of pregnancy with number 2, and having to drive 100 miles round trip each day to go and work in a paint can factory in an area so bad that you couldn’t leave at lunch, in the middle of a Chicago winter. I pretty much didn’t care when they let me go on New Years Eve.
I loved this! I hate when people who do not have kids complain about being exhausted. I’m serious, like, HELLO? I’ve lived that life, and I KNOW that tired doesn’t compare to THIS tired. So irritating! Anyway, congrats on the NickMom gig! xo
Maybe getting plastic surgeries once a month tires people out?
Only thing I can think of..
xo
Basically whenever anybody who isn’t a parent complains to me that they’re tired I feel like showing them this.
Being in a labor defined as a vacation is perhaps the best example of how motherhood changes a person.
And I hadn’t thought about running after Mazzy post-birth. Crap. This second kid thing is going to be TOUGH.
If you pinch Lindsay, make sure to watch your hands after. I’m sure her skin’s top layer is a mixture of self tanner residue and sidewalk grime.
They let you go on New Year’s Eve? THAT IS HARSH. Glad you are rid of them.
And yes, you make an excellent point. Let’s all pray that Lindsay never experiences the true meaning of EXHAUSTION.
Kind of blows those oversleeping excuses you used at work in your twenties out of the water, doesn’t it?
Oh how those higher-ups must have laughed at us.
I hear collogen injections and botox are incredibly taxing. Not to mention the finger strength it takes her to text her dealer…
I love when you make me giggle. Lindsay is an IDIOT, truly
and congrats on the BIG TIME…I already thought you were anyway. xoxo
I’m sick of Lindsay and your post of her being exhausted and needing hospitalization — argh! I hate it more when single ppl complain to me that they’re tired. They have legit reasons. I was prolly tired before having my son too, but come on, I don’t go around complaining that I have body aches or am forgetful to my grandparents. Keep it in perspective ppl! Love that you and NickMom are exchanging. They’re pretty funny!
Someone should lock that little complaining twit up in a room with several toddlers and two newborn babies just so she can get a glimps of what exhaustion feels like!!
Oh right…that pansy a** has it so rough! I forgot!
I saw them talking about this on the Today Show, they said (or someone said) that the exhaustion came when Lindsay worked 84 hours in 4 days (so thats something like 3 hours of sleep a night) — still seems like that should be doable, right?? I mean, her costar didn’t have to be hospitalized.
Oh yes! I loved my short stay at the hospital when I had #2. The quiet and the serving of meals right to my bed was AWESOME.
Well, there are OTHER things that can cause exhaustion, it’s not just kids. Try having a health condition that wreaks havoc on your system & working on a job 10+ hrs while being severely anemic. Not saying that this is Lindsay’s case…we know what “hospitilzed for exhaustion” is code for in Hollywood:”drug/alcohol binge”. But moms don’t hold the copyrights or monopoly on actual exhaustion. Acting like you do is ALSO annoying.
I’m betting exhaustion wasn’t even the real reason. But yes, you’re not truly exhausted if you can crawl into bed and get a good night’s sleep without waking up a million times or without a foot in your face!
and you did not have to make the bed!