220px-Glitter_close_upOnce glitter has made it's way into your home, it's almost impossible to get rid of it. It may innocently come in through a preschool art project but it will spread faster than an airborne disease in an air plane.

You will throw away the offending item but the glitter will remain.

You will do everything in your power to be rid of it— sweep, dustbust, use a wet paper towel— but that glitter just seems to multiply, continually claiming new terrority.

You will break out the industrial vacuum, fumigate, enlist the help of a cleaning service and then finally— one day you will wake up and for a few happy moments, you will think— OMG! The glitter is gone!

But then a few hours later it will show up in the least expected place— like the top of a clean pile of laundry, garnishing your plate of penne pasta or worse, suddenly on your face.

You will pick at that lone piece of face glitter for the better half of a week but even though you have successfully cleaned up Chernobyl-sized disasters in the past, the piece of glitter will elude you. Too small for human fingers to remove.

You will shower and still it will remain. Embarrassing you in social situations when someone invariably announces, "You have glitter on your face".

"I know", you will say with shame. "I can't get rid of it."

This is why many refer to glitter as "The Herpes of the Crafting World".

Basically glitter is to mothers what STDs are to hookers.

An unwanted unavoidable side effect of an already tough job.

Say hello to my new "GLITTER BOMB" courtesy of Mazzy and Mike, created on Father Daughter Day at school.


Someone please instruct me on how to diffuse and remove it from my home with as little peripheral damage as possible. 

In related news, today I'm over at Babble discussing options for dealing with Mazzy's growing supply of "art"

Yes, a trash can figures prominently.


Thank you to my twitter friends— @momofthreeunder, @kdwald, @briconstable, @suburbansnaps, @ninjamomblog and @nearnormalcy for inspiring this post.