Say hello to Nicky. Nicky's mom (@ringeddragon) assures me that there is nothing in the above photo that warrants a call to child protective services. She says Nicky's dad was merely showing off his two new chompers. I'm not entirely convinced. I haven't seen eyes crying for help that loudly since I begged my mom to donate to Sally Struther's "Feed the Children" campaign back in the early eighties.
What do you think? Perhaps Nicky is begging for money to spend on premature orthodonture. Or maybe Nicky's dad is practicing a bizarre form of human puppetry. More importantly— is any of this safe in the front seat of a car? You decide in the comment section below.
Captions will be judged by the Current Caption Contest Queen— Roo of {Nice Girl Notes}. She will crown the new Queen on Friday in a very elaborate ceremony that exists solely in my head. Bradley Cooper will be attending and the dress code is pantless, so I expect tickets to sell fast.
What else will the Queen get besides her fancy new crown? The supreme honor of judging the next caption contest, of course.
Good luck!
Dad! it’s squish the cheeks and say Apple!
I just want to be a REAL BOY!
Look honey, he’s making the “O” face.
(Sigh) The things we have to tolerate from our parents – does it ever end.
Man, it really sucks having a dad who is a dentist.
It’s Apple’s latest and greatest! The iChild with an iCar accessory! When you press here, the car parks itself and the child is immediately awakened into a state of listening and love for your play date. Also, download Angry Birds for hours of fun throwing iChild at pigs!
Mazda was the first major manufacturer to have baby-shaped air bags. And while they save lives, please do not attempt to reload them by shoving them back into the steering wheel.
At only 6 months old, little Nicky had already learned the tough lesson of botched Botox.
Officer, was I going that fast?
And with these few simple exercise, you can regain that firm and youthful appearance you thought you’d lost…
The human child, as you can see here in its native habitat, is born with the majority of its teeth hidden deep within the gums. Sweet toothless grins are a what the child uses to lure in its prey – mostly consisting of gerber puffs, goldfish crackers, and milk.
if i have to make this face one more f*cking time, you will be losing one of those thumbs.
LOL! Oh, oh my.
At least both hands are where you can see them, unlike with some puppets…
Mom, seriously? Can’t you stop him this time? Give your son a break!
You think this is bad? You should see where my dads feet are…
and you thought britney spears was a bad mom for driving with her son in her lap!
Nicky’s been driving around looking for White Castle but he keeps getting sidetracked….
No, Really! It’s right behind you! Yikes!
The world didn’t end on May 21st? WhAAA? I invested all my goldfish crackers in billboards!
Please be advised, rabid tooth fairy on the loose. To repeat, RABID TOOTH FAIRY on the loose.
The laaaaaaambs. I hear the laaaaaaambs.
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big!
Someone get that woman’s man-hands off me before she squeezes my skull like an orange.
Oh. My. God. I have to drive AGAIN? Can you at least turn me around this time?
Look at my eyes. Do you see my eyes? This is my best Audrina Patridge-Al Pacino eye impression. LOOK AT MY EYES.
Daddy wants to submit: “Braaaaaaaaaaaaains!”
I would edit that to say: “Booooooooooooooooobs!”
Dad, I Can’t See Them!
This one’s hysterical!!
(Fingers moving lips) “Look, mom, I’m driving the car, rocking out to some Lady Gaga!”
Projectile vomit in 5…4…3…2…1.
BARF
Backstory: This picture was taken during a road trip to FL for my father’s funeral. We did the bulk of the driving during his regular sleep times. This picture was taken when he woke up for the morning at 630, after about 8-9 hours of driving. We were most assuredly parked (at a Cracker Barrel), a lot tired, a bit punchy, and in need of some amusement. I’m not entirely sure what led to this picture (it’s lost to the BLUR), but no babies were harmed or put at risk in the making of this photograph.
Oh yeah – he’s in the front seat because I had been trying to nurse him and there’s more room in the front seat. It’s hard to nurse a cranky and distracted 6 month old who has both top and bottom teeth in a parking lot…
“Dad, please get your horn fixed already. My throat hurts.”
“yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTc3PsW5ghQ
BAHAHAHAHA!
Dad: “Honey I think he swallowed the keys. I think I see it!”
Check it out… my boner looks like a baby.