About six months ago, Grammy (my mother) bought Mazzy her first doll. (Mom— it might be a good idea if you covered your ears and averted your eyes for the remainder of this post). Grammy actually bought two dolls, both exactly alike except one says "I love you" when you press it's belly and the other laughs. They have plastic oversize heads, bland painted-on features, and horribly spongy bodies wearing hideous clothing including awful unremovable bonnets (see picture above).

I hate them so much that I like to imagine their interactions go something like this:

Hideous I Love You Doll: I love you.


Hideous I Love You Doll: I love you.


(Hideous Laughing Doll repeatedly rejects Hideous I Love You Doll's overly needy attempts of affection, in case that wasn't clear).

Mazzy, of course, as with everything Grammy gets her, LOVES them. Which is all fine as long as her love for their generic brand of hideousness is displayed within the confines of our apartment.

Recently, however, Mazzy has been insisting that she bring one of them with her every time we venture out. SO. This situation must be remedied quickly. If Mazzy is going to be a cool city kid, I can't have her walking around with a doll that looks like it couldn't get a date in the toy bin at the dollar store.

I'd much rather Mazzy attach herself to a doll with some street cred. Something with a little originality. Something like one of the awesomely unique handmade dolls pictured below:


I must warn you, when you scour the web for the beautifully designed dolls, you envitably find a few with sticker prices in euros as opposed to dollars. Most of the dolls above can be found on Etsy. But three of them can be found on a site called Juime, which due to the copious amounts of umlauts involved, I can only assume is German. Which makes perfect sense. All those BMW factory workers must need a break every once in awhile. Why couldn't it be for a tea party?

Clockwise from top left: Sylvia by Frannymade Tressa by Simpli Jessi, Fruhlingsmadchen by Juime, Hand-painted Dolly from Frannymade, Augen by Juime, Gracie from Sugar & Spice, Greta from Retromama, Ming Li Mini Beanbag Doll by Stephanie Monroe, Filzrockmadchen from Juime

Anybody else have a toy that they are plotting to "lose by accident"?