Below are two videos that went viral last month. One is of an extremely undiscerning baby that thinks ripping paper is hilarious. Particularly if that piece of paper is a job rejection notice meant for his dad. If I ever get up on stage for an open mike night at a comedy club, I would like to make sure this baby is in the audience. Then afterwards, I would like to get a drink with him so we can laugh and laugh at the misfortunes of others and about how the majority of the work I do now is for free.

And then we have Video #2. It features a five-year-old girl that I would like to keep in my pocket for pep talks, street fights and contract negotiations. In fact, if I can find her, I am going to entrust the future of my blog, my career and my marriage in her obviously capable hands. I predict— Mommy Shorts will be a Fortune 500 company by summer. My husband will be my doting and diligent assistant. See you later, little people!