Update: Click here to check out the honorable mentions and side-by-side baby/Hannibal comparison. It's worth it. Promise.
Caption contests make me feel like I'm taking the day off while you guys do all the work. But the second I set eyes on the photo below, I knew I had to open it up to the group…
Witness Lila giving a stare down so intense that it would rattle even the most laid back of parents. What is Lila so peeved about? Has her mom let her diaper go unchanged since yesterday? Has her twin sister Mia messed up the colors on the stacking toy AGAIN? Maybe she's pissed she was born with Jack Nicholson's hairline. Or she's reenacting a scene from "Firestarter". This one, my friends, is WIDE OPEN.
Special thanks to Natalie from Mommy of a Monster, for throwing her precious child into the ring. Natalie assures me that she doesn't offend easy, so let's put that claim to the test in the comment section below, shall we?
Captions will be judged by Emily of Jam of Love, the current Caption Contest Queen. Emily will crown the winner on Wednesday evening, in a fabulous ceremony that exists only in my head (your hand-engraved invite is currently being sent via unicorn). In addition to the crown, the winner gets the supreme honor of judging the next caption contest. It's kind of like being knighted except you will have actual power. Can't you feel it going straight to your head already?
Good luck!
If you'd like to submit a picture for a caption contest, please email it to myshort@mommyshorts.com.
Yes. I can kill you with my left earlobe.
Now give me the goddamn cookie.
Richard Blais, you will never be Top Chef! First you steal my spot on the show, then you copy my hair?! A pox on you!! A pox I say!
There’s about five pounds of gel in this fauxhawk. And I can cut you with it.
“YOU’D this be pissed if YOUR mom styled your hair after Ronnie from Jersey Shore.”
So far, so good! These are hilarious!!
Thanks so much for having Lila over – I can’t wait to see what everybody comes up with!
You touch my cookie? YOU touch my cookie! Bitch I’ll cut yer ass!
Put my hair back or I’m going to throw up on you!
“If you do that ONE MORE TIME, I swear, I’m gonna…”
(This look is the classic “Mom Look”, BTW)
My mohawk can kick your mohawk’s ass.
You understand the words coming outta my mouth?! I told you to back it up and go get me some candy. NOW.
What part of open the register and fill the damn bag didn’t you understand? And none of that Monopoly crap either. I may only look 9 months, but I got a .38 special says I’m much, much older!
Just you wait…you may think this faux-hawk hair is cute now…talk to me in 16 years when you want to take a family portrait and I do this myself. I bet you won’t think its cute then!
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
All play and no nap makes Lila a dull girl.
Whatchu talkin’ ’bout me lookin’ like Mr. T? YOU look like Mr. T.
“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
or
“Well, Clarice – have the lambs stopped screaming?”
I told the academy Franco & Hathaway were a bad idea. Why does no one listen to me?!
Call me an elf one more time. I dare you.
It’s not naptime. It’s SNACK time. Are we CLEAR?
I’m sorry you spanked me mommy. I’m afraid I have to kill you now.
I said, get. me. my. juicebox.
For the last time: Less talk. More tits.
No problem. Thanks for letting me use the picture!
“I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
“I WILL become an actor one day,” thought Baby Dominic Monaghan. “You’ll see. You’ll ALL see.”
“What the eff are you looking at?”
What did you just say about my hair?
Whatchu talkin bout Willis?
What do you mean you entered me in a caption contest??? I didn’t ask to be born this way, I just was. Vanity Fair will pay 1000 bucks a pop for this ugly mug. Damn it, woman! Stop givin’ it away for free!
*Seriously, Natalie, she’s sweet.
Who broke off my ding-a-ling?
What do you MEAN the goldfish are all gone?