Tomorrow, Mike and I are going on vacation.* I know your first question. It's— "Are you taking the baby?" To which I'll respond, "Ummm… does going away with a baby sound like a vacation??" No, Mike and I will most definitely NOT be traveling with the baby. Unless Mazzy figures out how to get to the airport and stow away underneath the plane on her own. In which case, the universe is conspiring against me. AND— isn't my kid super smart?!

Editor's Note: As you read this, I am most probably doing a we're-going-on-vacation dance. And since you can't see me, it's very coordinated and doesn't look at all stupid.

There are two important factors regarding this trip. The first is that unlike our adventurous vacations of yore (yore = pre-baby), Mike and I will be staying at a relaxing beach resort with no plans to leave the premises whatsoever. The other is that this vacation will be the first time that I'm away from Mazzy overnight. (Except if you count the time Mike and I went to see Avatar, which felt like all night but in reality was just a couple of hours). The vacation is seven days, six nights in a row. Way to jump in with both feet, huh? Mike and I had planned on doing a trial weekend away but we both got really busy with work and it never happened.

So here we are. Vacation tomorrow.


Will I… A) miss the baby terribly and as a result, not be able to have nearly as much fun as I intend? or B) have so much fun that I won't want to come back home to see the baby?

I honestly have no idea. SO. In order to properly prepare myself for the trip (and as a procrastination technique in lieu of packing), I have decided to make a list of both my hopes and fears regarding our seven days SANS BABY. It's kind of like a pros and cons list that normal people make when they are buying a house or weighing a job offer except written by someone who is not normal and has no such prospects.


HOPE: My husband and I will get some much needed rest.
FEAR: My husband and I will fall asleep on the plane ride down and not wake up until we have landed back in NY.

HOPE: My husband and I will sleep in every morning.
FEAR: My husband and I have gotten so used to waking up at 5am, that we no longer need a screaming baby as a wake-up call.

HOPE: My husband and I will have romantic evenings with intelligent conversation about un-baby related topics.
FEAR: "Poop?" "Snot." "Pacifier?" "Drool!"

HOPE: The baby will have a lovely time with Grammy.
FEAR: A lovely time will mean that Grammy has implemented a "no-naptime" schedule.

HOPE: The baby will take a learning/milestone hiatus while she patiently waits for our return.
FEAR: The baby will speak in full sentences and have just completed the entire Harry Potter series by herself.

HOPE: The baby will look exactly like she did when we left her.
FEAR: The baby will have grown five inches, have hair long enough for a ponytail and ask me when she is allowed to wear make-up.

HOPE: The baby will be beside herself with happiness when we reunite.
FEAR: Our reunion will be met with a blank stare and the baby's three new favorite words "WHO ARE YOU?"

Does this help me? Not really. Am I scared that by the time I get back I will be so racked with guilt from the temporary abandonment of my child that I ply her with nothing but cookies and candy until she is eight? Yes. Am I still beyond excited for the trip? Absolutely. I guess if I go back to my original question and I really weigh A & B, the obvious choice has got to be a write-in vote for C) a little bit of both.

What about you? Anybody have any stories or tips about their first vacation without their kids? Did you spend the whole time on Skype? Did you party like a rockstar? Are you thinking— "The kids? OH CRAP! I knew there was a reason our permanent move to Aruba went so smoothly!"?


Photo credit goes to N Takyo, universal "NO" symbol is all mine— if you are N Takyo and this bothers you, which is understandable, please let me know and I will remove it.