A while back my mother tasked my sister (above left) and I (above right) to clean out our old closets. We found two interesting things. The first was an “About Me” essay written by my sister when she was twelve. In it she said she didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up but she knew she wanted a dog. She also said she liked playing with little kids and helping people in need. Fast forward twenty years and my sister is now a school psychologist working with special needs kids who has a weirdly (in my book) close relationship with her dog.
The other thing we found was a postcard I had sent to my sister from sleepaway camp when I was ten. It read:
Dear Sis,
Today I made you something in art. Please tell mommy to send candy.
Love,
Ilana
P.S. I beat my high score on Donkey Kong Jr.
Somehow this also describes me to a tee. I went on to become a creative director with an extremely active sweet tooth, a highly competitive streak and an addiction to online scrabble.
My mother once told me to pay attention to your baby because she will be the exact same person for the rest of her life. Judging from the two examples above, I would say she is right. So what do I know about my baby girl?
She is fearless. The only time I’ve ever seen Mazzy scared is when we go through long tunnels in the car. Which is kind of understandable considering she’s doing it backwards at 55mph. Otherwise, she will dive head first off a bed, climb over obstacles like they aren’t really there, and reach for the heaviest, highest, most imposing objects she can find. If she stumbles, bumps her head, or loses her balance, she’ll just take a moment, readjust and get right back to it more determined than ever.
She is bossy. Pointing is Mazzy’s latest obsession. It started with a casual toss of the hand but it has developed into a ridiculously quick flick of the wrist with a locked elbow and an outstretched finger clearly indicating that she doesn’t want the plastic green spoon, she wants the shiny silver one. And once she makes it clear what she wants, it becomes much harder to do anything but meet her demands. When she wakes up early in the morning and I try to soothe her back to sleep, she will use that super specific finger to point straight out of the room. Morning after morning, I am forced to follow her agenda, even though it’s exactly the opposite of what I want to do.
She is a social maven. Mazzy treats New York City like its a small town and she’s got more clout than Bloomberg, Jeter, and Wintour combined. She says hi to everyone we pass on the street and if they don’t return her greeting, that will only make her say it louder. When you take her to a party, a playgroup, or a dinner out with friends, Mazzy holds court. She smiles at everyone’s jokes, flirts with the boys and lets perfect strangers hold her without a fuss. She’s got a George Clooney glint in her eye and more charm than Hugh Grant circa 1995. And somehow she always commands the full attention of everyone in the room even though nothing she says ever makes any sense.
So, if all this is true to form, Mazzy is destined to be a risk taker who can charm the pants off pretty much anyone despite her shitty vocabulary. She’ll throw legendary dinner parties where she tells everyone exactly what they are going to eat and with whom. And then she’ll hold them captive while she does all the talking.
In short—
Mazzy’s gonna be a politician.
Pray for me.
This is so perfectly written that it makes me mad at you that you are also such a good Art Director. Also I love the postcard.
LOVE it!
That makes me really happy because I just hemmed and hawed for an hour wondering if it was ready to post.
Did you say Facebook Scrabble? I am off to challenge you to a game RIGHT THIS SECOND.
I have never wanted to do this kind of post with C because I am afraid that he will turn out to be a gigolo, all sex appeal and taking advantage of older women :S Here’s hoping I am wrong!
If C’s a gigolo there’s a good chance he’ll run in the same circles as Mazzy’s politician friends!
Oh I love this post Ilana! It’s funny because my mom made me bring home tons of my stuff that I had left at her house like 7 years ago and somehow my sisters diary got stuck in the pile. Anyways, I’m saving it to give to her for her 30th birthday.
OH- she is going to KILL you!!! Can I come? That’s gonna be a very entertaining family gathering…
So, yes, I have yet to get you a baby profiling yet. There is a reason my site is Chaotic Momentum, I just can’t seem to organize the Chaos in my mind… Which ultimately means I get nothing done.
BUT, despite ignoring Maria’s depends to do this, I did follow her advice and headed on over to your site. Impressive, I know. I’m not usually the type to listen. And also? I even liked your facebook page. I’m just all kinds of awesome today.
So… should I dare ask? Republican or Democrat?
I think the postcard sums up things beautifully. Effin’ A, I told everyone within a 20-mile radius when I advanced in Pac Man. (I probably didn’t say “effin’ A,” though. I saved that up for when I was mature enough to be classy.)
I think you forgot the part where Mazzy’s going to be a model. Because, OBVIOUSLY.
Wow— a facebook like. That’s commitment. As for the party line, I’m hoping more Hillary, less Sarah.
Late comment, as just found your blog – and love it! But it is true. In fact (I have two children) they are similar personalities to the womb and delivery; first one was very chillax’ in the womb, barely moved, very slow and easy (drug-free, walked into hospital 8 cm dilated with no one thinking I was in labour) delivery. To this day, she is my easy-going, laid-back kid. Second one was much more active, and was a high-stress labour cumulating in emergency section – as she was trying to come out when I was 5 cm dilated, which is about the exact opposite of fun that the opposite of fun could possibly be – and to this day she is a high-energy, very bossy, in charge, dominates her 6 year old sister child. It fascinates me, and thrills me, and scares me to so early know their present personalities, strengths and weaknesses so well … but also is amazing how so deeply in love I can be with two opposites – and how much they love each other 🙂 Motherhood = bliss. Even with the lack of sleep.
Very very true! Great advice from your mom… gives me lots to think about as their little personalities change daily! And scrabble… yeah, have you tried Bananagrams yet? they have an app for ipad, you’ve been warned….
This terrifies me: because my Lil Diva and Mazzy are soooooooooooo much alike (see Friday’s post about some of her demands).
If it holds true, my son will be a professional wrestler involved in a reading outreach program while my Lil Diva will be on the path for world domination – all from the charm of her smile paired with the fear of those who dare not acquiesce to her demands.
I’m told re: food, I’ve been “this” way since a baby.
It does not bode well..
Great post.
Oh, I love this! Especially the old postcard you sent asking for candy. So funny!
P.S. Maybe she’ll be the president that changes the world 🙂
LOVE this! Charm a la a ’95 Hugh Grant is somethin’ special. And with the sassy name of Mazzy, watch out world! Also? Are you coming out to BlogHer? I will take you down in Donkey Kong.
That’s great advice from your Mom.
I will pray for you, if you pray for me… I have a creative, temperamental chatterbox with a dizzying intellect.
Also?
Best letter home from camp, ever.
Ha! I love the way you wrapped this all up. And I think you’re totally right. And in trouble. I’ll start saying novenas on your behalf now.
ROFLMAO!!
Oh, you are in trouble!
This made me giggle. I love the way you wove together the things from your own childhood and Mazzy’s future political leanings 🙂
Oh love this! The past weaving into the present and then seamlessly into the future. Your future, to be exact. As the president’s mama. Sending prayers, good thoughts, and whatever else it may take to get you through. XO
The same person only bigger? I have to think about that one and see if my kids follow the same path as they did before.
I am coming to Blogher. You got the portable one from the ’80s? Cause I don’t know if I ever mastered any Donkey Kong after that.
If she’ll fix this damn economy, I say “Mazzy for Prez!”
And thinking about this in relation to my kids kinda makes my head hurt a little.
Adore the pic of you and your sis. 🙂
Oh this is so funny! I am definitely praying for you! =)
This reminded me of a video on youtube that shows what you may have to look forward to lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AEUIHBoudU
Reading your blog from the beginning ( I know….will take me a few years probably) and thought this was a picture of Mazzy and Harlow! So cute!!!
Oh my god! You are so right! I posted this before Harlow was born so I never really considered the current resemblance!
Hihi…..thank God for people who never followed you from the beginning (sorry!) and are trying to read everything now!