Today, I am going to Utah for a family ski vacation. All those words sound perfectly lovely together— vacation, family, Utah, etc.— but they leave out one very important detail. THE PLANE RIDE.
Not just ONE PLANE RIDE, but TWO PLANE RIDES.
Both of which will surely have their own special flavor of disaster.
For the record, Mazzy is fine on a plane. You just load some games and movies up on her iPad and she's content for the next 20-25 hours.
It's Harlow I'm worried about.
Harlow, the baby who can only nap in pitch dark with a noise machine and NO INTERUPTIONS WHATSOEVER.
Never once have I snuck into Harlow's room while she is asleep and made it out without incidence. Harlow pokes her head up the second her door is cracked, as if she'd been wide awake the whole goddamn time. And then, when you quickly sneak back out (not even having attempted what you came in there to do), Harlow starts crying like sleep training all over again.
I was thinking about this as I was looking through all the adorable photos for the Team Cuddle Contest. Babies sleeping with dogs, babies sleeping with dads, babies sleeping with babies… I'm not amazed that all these babies are sleeping with a buddy, I'm amazed that someone was able to sneak up on them and snap a picture without the baby waking up prematurely and screaming her head off.
Also, to take a good photo of your baby napping, there has to be light in the room. Harlow doesn't just sleep with the light off, she sleeps with black out shades that we had installed as soon as we realized our baby had a bit of a sleep issue.
I took TONS of pictures of Mazzy sleeping when she was a baby. I LOVE pictures of babies sleeping.
It's just not a possibility with Harlow.
All this is to say, Harlow will most certainly NOT be napping on our flight.
Not only that, I'll be surprised if she even sits still in my lap. The girl is a squirmy one.
She wants to run around, press every button she can find (nobody let her into the cockpit!) and only be held while I am standing up.
You think the flight crew will make a rare exception and let me just hold onto the seatbelt while standing in the aisle holding Harlow during take-off?
Yeah, me neither.
Also, I should note, since Harlow is under two, she is not required to have her own seat, so we did not purchase one. If we had, we could have buckled her into her car seat, which I actually think would have gone pretty well. Harlow is good in the car.
But… we chose to save the cost of an extra seat ticket in return for possibly the worst four hours of our lives. I'm sure it will be worth it.
Oh! I forgot to mention the scariest part!
Remember Mazzy? The four-year-old who I said is perfectly content on a plane as long as she can play with her iPad?
I'm pretty sure that goes to total shit when you put her baby sister next to her. You think Harlow is going to let her big sister play with her iPad in peace?
Nope. She's going to touch, poke, grab and push buttons that end Mazzy's movie in the middle.
Unfortunately for Mazzy (and *ahem* everyone else seated around us), nobody will be spared from the hell of Harlow on a plane.
Sorry in advance!
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Here's a pie chart I created after I took Mazzy on her first plane ride a few years ago. Oh, I thought I had it so hard then. Worrying all about one baby. I'll be interested to see how much my pie chart changes after this trip.
Any tips about traveling with two kids, please leave them in the comments!
With Mazzy, you can now add “fear that your preschooler will emergently need to pee the moment the “fasten seat belts for landing” announcement comes on”
My husband took our 5 yr old and 12 mth old from sydney to LA by himself- that’s 14 hours. And he did it twice, on the way back as well. I’m still not sure how he survived. Good luck!
I have no valid words of advice as I refused to fly anywhere, ever, unless my kid(s) had their own seat. When my husband tried to protest I either (1) justified it by saying we needed the car seat anyway (2) flat out refused to negotiate. So my only good suggestion is to bring lots of brand new and hopefully interesting toys, books, food and drink (well keep that as water and milk); if you splurge for a second ipod for the baby no one will judge! Fingers crossed she finds the environment just scary enough to want to snuggle but not scary enough to scream. And keep in mind the white noise of the plane can actuallybe quite soothing for sleep, maybe you will be pleasantly surprised??
We just survived a one-stop flight with an almost 3 year old and a 13 month old. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. There was some crying and some whining, but all in all, it went smoothly. You can do it! Oh, and two separate times, strangers grabbed the 13 month old out of my arms. We were in the plane both times. They were trying to help since my husband was struggling to get the car seat for the 3 year old installed while I tried to keep both kids from escaping. And we were traveling to and from a very small city in the midwest…don’t think it would have happened on a trip to and from a larger east coast city!
You never know, Harlow may be purely entertained with the window blinds and table tray! Our little one’s first flight (at 18months) was to move to Switzerland and he entertained himself entirely on the 1st leg of the trip. The second leg (which was the red eye and took off 2hrs past his bed time AND like Harlow, likes his dark, quiet room) – he entertained himself again with the table tray (we forewarned the person in front of us) and he then eventually passed out for a few wonderful hours. Fingers crossed Harlow may do the same!
Oh boy! I would have sprung for the extra seat! My son would be the same way, except he’s almost 2. He doesn’t nap. He doesn’t sit still. BUT he’s very good in the car, and would likely sit the whole time and be OK in his car seat.
why are you going to Utah when Vermont is much closer?
good luck! i hope you have some sweet and understanding fellow passengers!
You could be pleasantly surprised. My twins did great at that age and they also took naps in a dark room with a sound machine. The plane feels a lot like a car. Just bring a few brand new toys (from the Target bin) that she has never seen before, maybe some books and lots and lots of snacks! Good luck!
I was sooo worried about my little one when we flew for the first time with two in November. They were newly 2 and just under 5. They did better than I ever imagined! Good luck! Give Harlow your phone!
I flew red eye from NY to Vancouver by myself and a 3 year old and an 18th mo old. It isn’t easy, and they don’t really sleep. Just try and be prepared. Bring empty sippy cups to be filled as they spill the open cups provided (every time, even when they’re 10!), I bought some new dollar store toys and wrapped them, and dolled them out at intervals. if they are happy try and leave them be, and for the sake of others – repeatedly remind them not to kick the seat in front of them. adopt the “sigh, I’m exhausted facial expression” and just get through it… it’ll be worth it!
Ha! I made them delay backing away from the gate due to my newly potty trained son. I got many a nasty look (we were also sitting in first class, my husband travels for work A TON so we take advantage of his racking up the miles) In the end it was a victory, he was back in his seat within 90 seconds (Purell, anyone?) so we didn’t really delay anything.
I travel internationally with my two kids all the time. Just have a plan, bring toys and be easy. I know that’s easier to say, but I’ve found that the flights when I stressed the most were the hardest. I just do my best to make it fun and make it an adventure and go with whatever happens! I don’t always succeed, but the flights when I try are definitely easier!
You’ll survive it! My daughter (now 4) was the same way as a baby…particularly with hating being held unless standing. Flights were always miserable. Definitely put Mike in the middle to help protect the ipad/Mazzy! Constant treats are my go to method for keeping two kids entertained on board. My son will be a month shy of 2 yo on our next trip and I also chose the cheaper option of having him sit on my lap…it will be painful. Hopefully you’ll have more useful advice for me! 🙂 Good luck!
My girl likes to have her space. Once the seatbelts are able to be off, maybe you sit in the middle (on the seat crack) and put them on either side of you? 2 seats should be enough room for you and the 2 of them to sit in a row?
wow, you’ve described my two year old to the T wrt to sleeping habits. We flew with him to London this past Christmas and since he was a few days shy of 2, decided to save money on the seat. To be honest, I dont think buying the extra seat would have helped other than give my husband and I more space, since my son insisted on not sitting the whole time. Needless to say, my husband spent the entire flight holding him and i spent the entire flight watching movies and drinking wine :). Sorry I dont have any words of wisdom other than to say good luck. On the bright side, my son was so tired that he passed out when we reached and slept for 10 straight hours in the middle of the day!
There’s three seats on one side of the row…plop Mazzie in the outer one with her Ipad, and Harlow in the inner one with the window (which she can raise and lower the shade on to her heart’s content) and sit between them. It won’t be a happy flight for you, but on the next leg, your hubs can take your place and you can have some peace 🙂 It’ll be easier to corral Harlow in the window seat — take it from me!
Take a deep breath. You can do it! This Christmas my husband and I flew with our 6,4, 2 year old, and 6 month old. Because our planes were only two seats together, we were split up like crazy!
The way I see flights with kids: if nobody dies, it was a success. Sure, there might be diarrhea dripping down your two year olds leg all the way onto his shoes (THAT happened), and your 4 year old might spill Cheerios all over the aisle, but if everyone is alive when you land, you did it. Pat yourself on the back!
It would be MUCH easier if Harlow was in the window, but if Mazzy is like my 4 yo, she will tantrum until she gets the window seat. So I don’t even try. We last flew with both kids over Thxgiving and the just turned 1 year old wasn’t walking much. Now she is everywhere so I told my husband we are getting her her own seat the next time we go anywhere. I just can’t picture trying to hold on to her while she flings her whole body backwards trying to get away. And the hitting. She will get to use one of our iPads I’m sure.
Oh, you wanted tips, not commiseration? Ask the flight attendant for some empty cups. Great entertainment for baby. Lots of different snacks. Buy some new toys and break them out at certain points (though I find this works a lot better for age 2 plus…my baby is just not that into particular toys). Books for when you can’t use the iPad. ( though I guess this changed…you can always use electronic devices now… And parents everywhere rejoiced). To the extent the aisle was open, one of us would stand up occasionally so that we had one seat where baby could stand when she got antsy. I don’t know if Harlow still uses a bottle but those are my lifesavers in strange situations.
The last time I flew with my son he was 5. Upon take-off he screamed at the pilot to stop the plane and proceeded to get sick. The flight home was better. We prepped him with apple juice and a sick bag. He has a lot of ear pain, as do I, no matter what so it hurts to fly. Needless to say, he’s 6.5 now and I won’t fly anywhere until he’s old enough to not scream at the pilot.
Well the carseat group I liked on fb (carseat police I say) would tell you that the safest bet is ALWAYS to buy any child any age their own seat so they can safely fly seated in their carseat. I for one will never have to worry about this since we will never be flying anywhere while our children are in carseats (not that I don’t wish to – just no where to go and too expensive.) So maybe purchasing her own seat would have saved some sanity!! Good luck on your flight 😉
I cannot for the life of me figure out why people recommend flying over nap time. Worst advice ever. We flew over my then 14 month old’s naptime and all 26 pounds of him ended up on my left arm. After 30 minutes I started to lose feeling and when I tried to gently adjust his weight, he woke up and started screaming. Next time, we’re buying him his own seat.
My advice is a little…different. Fake a head cold, take something which will knock you out and let Mike sweat it out.
Any chance you’ll post “lessons learned” from your trip? Tomorrow I’m flying to Germany with a 9-month old lap child and my sister-in-law is flying to Germany with her 1 yr-old and 3-yr old. I’m taking the naive “it’ll be fine” approach, whereas my sister-in-law is more realistic and is (understandably) very nervous 🙂
the stories about Harlow’s sleeping make me want to laugh (and cry inside). my baby has been such a bad sleeper from the start. and one reason we never got those cute newborn photos of him. he would never stand to be put in various baskets or things with all sorts of accessories positioned nearby (and stay asleep). luckily his big brother is a great sleeper and can actually sleep through the baby’s crying!
good luck on the trip!
http://blog.thebump.com/2012/09/05/too-kind-parents-pre-apologize-on-flight/ These parents of twins have a small ziploc bag with a couple of candies in it and a pre-apology note for each passenger on the flight. They also offer ear plugs to anyone who wants to stop by their seats to pick up the ear plugs. I think it’s a cute idea to ease your tension over everyone else’s reactions if the kids act up.
My advice would be to have you and Mike each take one child and sit separately. That way Mazzy can have her iPad and Harlow will be none the wiser and have your complete attention. I have 3 kids and that has worked well during our flights to visit family.
My advice to everyone traveling alone with 2 kids is to buy a seat for the under 2 year old (especially if they’re mobile active kids that won’t sit and watch an ipad) and sit in between them. Bring a car seat if you think it will contain them better without allowing them to kick the seat in front of them- that is another hazard that car seats pose…they make it much easier to kick the seat in front of the kid). It is totally worth the extra cost and it’s much much safer. Starting at 6 months we always buy the baby a seat and we don’t have lots of “extra” money but our sanity is worth it!
Hope you have a good trip. The snow here in Utah sucks this year. I just did the two kids thing myself with my 5 and 11 m.o. up to Alaska, but as a solo parent as my husband was unable to come. It was less than thrilling. Good luck!
I always fly alone with both kids from munich to LA and it gets less terrible every time. Does this not help?
Then a few other tips: when possible fly direct and remind yourself that it could be worse: you coul have 3 kids!
Also, when flying shorter distances with my husband it seems harder because I expect him to help and he expects to watch a movie. Better keep your expectations low I say…
You may have a problem with CPS, but I’ve heard of people giving their baby a small dose of Benadryl before a long flight, to help them take a nap.
We are taking my 16 mo old daughter to Disney at Easter and am going to try headphones in the stroller during nap time. Sounded like a good idea, until I actually typed it out and am now reading it. I now think we are F’ed.
Good Luck
My son had 20+ flights under his belt by the time he was two… the worst trip ever began on a 16 hour flight… when he threw up… on the lady next to me. THANKFULLY she was a grandma and was pretty cool with it. But not a great way to start a flight!
Moving from Hawaii to Washington required two plane rides and a shuttle bus. 18 hours of travel and layovers. They were 2 1/2 and two 18 month olds. I had a food backpack, a diaper backpack and a toy backpack. I bought el cheapo toys and wrapped them. For the twins I wrapped some of their own toys. I had non toys such as tape, when they got fussy I’d put a bit of tape on their sock and they’d pick it off. My oldest got a kiddie camera. We used our triplet stroller and bags to MacGyver a playpen. I put stickers on their backs with my phone number and name in case they darted off.
The best thing I did was to over plan, over pack, over organize and expect the absolute worst. I was so surprised and happy that they did awesome. Very few tears. But I was exhausted keeping them happy, comfortable and entertained.
I’m dreading that for you. Sending prayers for a peaceful flight. That pie chart cracked me up!
My Harper is EXACTLY like your Harlow and sorry to say, you and Mike had better arrange for child care and massages once you reach your destination because you will both discover the painful existence of muscle groups you never even knew you had after wrangling Harlow on the flight. Even in an “extra legroom seat” which we splurged for, we needed chiropractic care after our ordeal. On the flight home, Harper DID fall asleep; FIVE minutes before landing. Bon voyage! (Must state, it was worth it to get out of the snow, but the plan I had naively made to take both of my kids to FL on my own later in the winter was summarily dismissed after our flight from hell.) Good luck!
Oops. Just noticed this post is from 2 days ago. Hope you survived the flight–can’t wait to hear your war story!
You are a hilarous person who truly speaks my thoughts…I just have one at the moment (expecting twins) and have flown back and forth to England many, many, many times in his 21 months of life. Each time my heart/head/body wants to explode with anxiety and there is nothing longer…NOTHING…then 8 hours on a plane with a baby/toddler. I hope it was ok!
I travelled from the UK to LA (11.5 hour flight) with an 11 month old and a 2 year old on my own (and back again two months later)- plus we only had two seats between 3 of us! Put it this way….it was an experience for everyone involved! Mozzarella balls were thrown across the aisle!! Looking back it was actually quite fun and i didnt understand why my friends said i was crazy for doing it.
EEK! I guess you kinda just cope with whatever comes your way!
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