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Before I start writing my Friday recaps, I usually flip through my pics from the week to see what photo I want to put at the top. This week was a no brainer. The photo of Mazzy above makes my heart melt faster than a piece of Velveeta sitting directly on the sun. 

I should really just stop writing and call it a day because what could possibly be better than that little face sticking out of a miniature black pea coat? Did I mention Mazzy likes to sit still while I braid her hair in the morning??? It's like my twelve-year-old self has been waiting for this moment my whole life.

Alright, I'm done being sappy. I've got important business to attend to….

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I'M GONNA BE ON TV TODAY!


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At 12pm, I will be talking about breastfeeding on HLN with other Babble bloggers in celebration of their new ebook. Why does it seem like every time I am on television it is BOOB RELATED?? Also— did I mention one of my posts is being published in Babble's book? It's the one about pumping at work. Wheeeeee!!!!!

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LONG LIVE BABY MUGGING


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For a brief moment, Baby Mugging was the #1 story on Mashable yesterday. Although Mashable is a site frequented by all kinds of people, including men and the childless, and commenters on the internet outside of the mommy blogging community are typically not the kindest of folks, I thought— who could possibly say anything bad about babies in mugs? RIGHT???

WRONG.

From John Hill:

"What a pathetic time to be on this planet."

From Johnathan King:

"Go home, internet. You're drunk."

From Chet Deleeo:

"If you ever get tired of looking at dumb pictures of people holding a mug over their child so they can post it online and have people "Like" their picture, visit my page and learn some helpful tips that may improve your life. So much more worth it than doing what you're most likely doing…I may not have a lot of "LIKES" but at least my page has more purpose than this one does."

Overall, the response was very positive and I want to thank everyone who allowed me to use their picture. To the haters, joke's on you because I won't stop until every baby on earth is photographed in drinkable form.

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Please continue to upload your shots to my fanpage or to #babeinamug tagging @mommyshorts on Instagram.

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"GIRL WALKS INTO A BAR" WINNER


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Last week, I interviewed the lovely and hilarious Rachel Dratch about parenting and her successful book, "Girl Walks into a Bar". One of my questions was, "What's harder— finding success as an actor, dating in Manhattan or parenting a two-year-old?"

Rachel said, "Dating in Manhattan".

A lot of her book deals with the horrible dates she has gone on, so to make her feel better about her experiences, I thought it would be fun to make everyone write about their worst date in the comment section.

I was going to list the worst of them here for a comment competition but they dealt with everything from alcoholic bed wetting to 9/11 conspiracy theories to someone finding out their date was an ACTUAL MURDERER, so it didn't seem like the kind of thing we could all laugh about. 

The good news is— RACHEL FEELS MUCH BETTER!

But there were a bunch of funny ones including a guy who had to go back home because he forgot to set his VCR to tape Melrose Place, a guy who interrupted their date to conduct a phone interview with Ron Jeremy, and a guy who was NIBBLING HIS TOENAILS AT THE MOVIES.

There was also a doozy from Amanda Byrne about diarreha, a cop and a field off the side of a highway, but that date was with her long-term boyfriend so I don't think it counts, but I do recommend reading it in the comment section underneath the post.

I'm gonna go ahead and give the win to Bethanie who went on the movie date with the toe nail nibbler. Why? BECAUSE HE NIBBLED HIS TOENAILS AT THE MOVIES!!!!!!

Congratulations, Bethanie. I hope you didn't marry the guy.

Have a great weekend!

— Mommy Shorts