Last week I announced I'm having a girl. The only problem with this (besides Mike casually asking me if I would ever consider a third) is that I already used my girl name.
The name 'Mazzy' was established long before I met the man I wanted to marry, headlining the baby name list I've had hidden in a folder within a folder within a folder on my computer for the past fifteen years.
It was the first name I suggested to Mike when I got pregnant and it was the only name he liked from that point forward.
Easiest process ever.
This time around, naming our baby is proving to be a bit more difficult. Every name I bring up connotes some sort of odd association for Mike. His response is usually quick and brutal, with a shake of the head that says, "There is nothing you can do to change my mind".
Our conversations (pre-gender determination) have gone something like this:
ME: What do you think of Rowan?
MIKE: RO-WAN?
ME: Yes, Rowan.
MIKE: No.
ME: What's wrong with Rowan? Rowan is a cool kid!
MIKE: No, he's not. He's a skinny mime who wears his pants too short.
ME: What? What are you talking about?
MIKE: He thinks he's funny but he's just annoying and British.
ME: WHAT????
MIKE: You know, Rowan Atkinson.
ME: Mr. Bean???
MIKE: Yeah, I'm not naming my kid Mr. Bean.
ME: Nobody associates Rowan with Mr. Bean.
MIKE: I DO.
ME: Alright, what to do you think of Lennon for a girl?
MIKE: No.
ME: Why not?
MIKE: Everybody's gonna think we're huge Beatles fans and start asking music questions we're not going to know the answer to.
ME: This is coming from the guy who suggested Hendrix for a boy?
MIKE: Hendrix is an awesome name.
ME: You know NOTHING about Jimmy Hendrix. What about Lennox instead of Lennon?
MIKE: Lennox is a stripper.
ME: Really?
MIKE: Yes. What else you got?
ME: How about Violet?
ObMIKE: Tell me one person who is happy with the name Violet.
ME: I don't know any Violets.
MIKE: Exactly.
ME: What about Archer for a boy?
MIKE: (long pause) Archer is cool.
ME: And then we can call him Archie for short!
MIKE: You just ruined it for me.
ME: Okay, we'll never call him Archie...
MIKE: No. Next.
ME: Sebastian?
MIKE: Sebastian is a cat.
ME: Jasper?
MIKE: Jasper is a ghost.
ME: That's Casper.
MIKE: Same thing.
ME: Allegra?
MIKE: Allegra is an allergy medication.
ME: Alexa?
MIKE: I like Alexa.
ME: No, I'm not naming my kid Alexa.
MIKE: You just said Alexa.
ME: I know. Forget that ever happened. Isadora?
MIKE: No.
ME: I LOVE ISADORA!!!!
MIKE: Everyone is going to call her Izzy and then we'll have Mazzy and Izzy and that just sounds stupid.
ME: Alright, you have a point. You come up with something.
MIKE: Indiana.
ME: Huh. That's pretty.
MIKE: Indiana Jones Wiles.
ME: YOU SUCK.
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Obviously, Mike and I need help. What should Mazzy's sister's name be? (And just for fun, I'm going to answer as Mike in the comment section.)
Since we're on the topic, I thought it was finally time to share my 'tale of baby name regret' over on Babble today. For a brief period after Mazzy was born, I experienced the baby naming equivalent of "buyer's remorse". It was awful and took me over two years before I could write about it. But don't worry— it has a happy ending.
