Meet Zana. She was in the midst of a mother-daughter shopping trip to TJ Maxx when all hell broke loose. Her mother, Besa from Mom in DCity, thinks Zana was just overtired.
I don't know about that. How would you like to be left topless and confined to a shopping cart while thousands of designer label shirts at bargain level prices taunted you with their proximity?
It's like handcuffing a bride-to-be to a radiator at a Vera Wang sample sale! Or blindfolding Charlie Sheen at a strip club!
Or….maybe the anti-Maxxinista ripped off her clothes in protest because she would much rather be paying full price at Sak's.
You tell me in the comment section below.
Winner will not only be crowned "Caption Contest Queen", he/she could also take home the GORGEOUS $216 "Hampton Tunic" silk maternity dress from Rosie Pope pictured left!
I actually won the dress (sized medium) at a Philips AVENT Natural Bottle event a few weeks ago but I think it would look much better on one of you.
Just write "PREGGO!" after your caption and you will be eligible for the giveaway. I will pick my favorite caption for the winner and my favorite PREGGO caption for the giveaway. Who knows? They might be one and the same.
That is, if all the preggo people can dry their tears, put down their cartons of ice cream and stop thinking of baby names long enough to come up with something good. You can do it!
Winner(s) will be announced on Friday..
“Large?! You think I am a large?!?”
“PREGGO!”
I would rather take a nap than buy Hannah Anderson at a discount!!!
Why can’t I get the rest of the ballerina costume!
Don’t push your style on me woman – I will rebel. I’M AN EFFIN TOM-BOY!
NO WIRE HANGERS!
Did you seriously just ask the sales lady if they have maternity clothes? YOU SAID I WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU’D EVER LOVE!!!
PREGGO!
I thought we were at the stripper outlet!?
PREGGO! 🙂
I said NO florals!!!
Well, you said everything was half off here.
PREGGO
Would it be so hard to have consistency in sizing, people?!?
You expect me to wear that! Juicy is so last season!
Preggo:)
“I lost my shirt back in housewares, placenta-brain. Take ME back now, PREGGO!”
PREGGO
“I don’t care what the magazines say, red and pink DO NOT go together. Put the shirt down crazy lady!”
PREGGO
No more pink! I’m a boy. I’ve been tucking.
If you don’t buy me the Burberry flats and Holmes & Yang dress I will NEVER MAKE IT into SURI’s playgroup!!!!
I’M embarrassing you? Who’s the one looking at a House of Dereon blouse from the clearance rack?!
LOL “I’d rather pay full price at Saks”..my caption is “This store is crap! Take me to Marshalls…What?! They’re the same store?! LIAR!!!”
Laaaaaady give back my shiiiiiiirt!!!!!! I don’t want to trade any more!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laaaaaady give back my shiiiiiiirt!!!!!! I don’t want to trade any more!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PREGGO
“I’m sitting here half naked and you’re looking at clothes for yourself??? I’m calling DCFS!!!!!”
“I refuse to put on that top! It’s tackier than that Dolce & Ga-baby onesie you got me last Christmas!”
No, YOU put on a shirt. I’m a Maxxinista, bitch.
Any reference to Mommy Dearest is a winner in my book.
Liz W beat me to it, but I was gonna say NO MORE PLASTIC HANGERS! She should win.
Also: that dress is purty. Medium must be too big for you?
“You promised I could try on that baby couture set and we’d have to hurry because it would be like the wedding dress run at Filene’s Basement. Sooo far from it. This sucks. Gimme back my damn shirt.”
“Of course that shit’s on the floor, don’t you know babies in Vietnam had to work for 3 days straight to make it? BABIES. LIKE ME. Show some compassion, woman.”
Obviously things have changed a bit for Suri Cruise since the divorce.
What the hell, Dad? Do not tell me I have the ‘cutest Buddha belly ever!’ Haven’t you learned by now not to call a woman fat? I can’t believe it; my life is over!
PREGGO
Dammit Mom! For the 100th time: Everyone knows that you get naked in front of other people at Loehmann’s, not TJ Maxx.
Preggo
“TJ Maxx? What the f*ck are we doing here – all of my 2T clothes are from Saks and Bergdorfs!!”
The f*ing sign says “No shirt, no shoes, no service”, woman. Are you seriously telling me that you can’t read either? You just wait until I tell dad about this.
No shirt, no shoes, no service! Don’t these people know who I am?
If you don’t promise me we’re stopping at McDonalds on the way home, I swear I’m taking it ALL OFF Mom!”
You are fired as my stylist! Sombebody get me Rachel Zoe!!!!
“How many times do I have to tell you, Diva don’t shop Discount!!!!!”
PREGGO!
“Diva deserves better!!”
PREGGO
I told you I would not be seen wearing a floral. FLORALS ARE SO LAST SEASON!
I’m being invaded by clothes!
1. Where is my EFFING SHIIIIIIIRRRRRTTTTT!?
2. You SAID we’d be in and out. Whaddaya mean not of our CLOTHES?!
3. Step away from the leather or I’ll drop this skirt like a hot flippin potato beeatch!
Give me back my cerulean sweater!
PREGGO!
Kevin!? Oh the tucking (and Mommy Dearest) get it in my book!
Look bitch- don’t mess with me- I’m ready to go all Hunger Games crazy on your ass!
“TJ MAXX? I thought TJ meant Trader Joe’s! I want frozen treats and stickers now discount fashion! Get – Me – OUTTA – Here!”
iPhooooooonnnneeee!
A cotton-poly blend!? Mother, we are NOT ANIMALS!
I THOUGHT WE ALREADY DISCUSSED HOW I FEEL ABOUT PAISLEY.
(preggo)
Oh dear god, this one has my vote!
Irregular?!?!? I’ll show you irregular!!
Mine too!
You think THIS is embarrasing? I’m just getting started!
The dress is very pretty. But my baby bump was not meant to be swathed in white silk. Or so the mirror tells me.
“Is that all you got?”
“You’re lucky I’m strapped in this thing. I so saw that Marc Jacobs bag first!”
This is awesome, she should win!!