It’s only been very recently that I’ve attempted shopping with my kids. Why? Because they have less patience than my husband. And, they think every purchase should be centered around them, even when you are shopping for yourself.
For instance, Harlow loves picking out items for me to try on and then gets PISSED if I don’t like them. Once she picked out a pair of hot pink disc-shapped earrings that are about twice the size of a quarter. I said no and she got so upset, the salesperson offered them to me for free. Now, I have to deal with her wrath every single morning when she asks why I am not wearing them.
So, you see? Shopping with kids— not so easy. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
22 things that can go wrong when you take your kids to the mall:
1. When you lose your kid and then find her in a window display
2. When you leave your kid alone with the cart
3. When shopping for women’s dresses is your kid’s worst nightmare
4. When your kids are having way too much fun in the dressing room
5. When you probably should have waited to go after nap time
6. When your kid is like, “See ya! I’m heading to toy the section!”
7. When the shoes she wants don’t come in her size
7. When your kid decides she’s not leaving without the Frozen bedding
8. When you have to break the news that the HUGE PLAYHOUSE is not on your shopping list
9. When only one of your kids respects your selfie game
10. When your kid decides to play hide and seek but forgets to tell you
11. When you hope they wash the floors regularly
12. When your kids won’t stop riding up and down the escalators
13. When your kid is the one person who hates return lines more than you
14. When you have to do what you have to do
15. When you can’t believe you left the stroller in the car
16. When you’re not sure if kids are allowed to play in the fountain
17. When you consider using Sports Authority for a quick diaper change
18. When your kid refuses to accept that you are not here to buy toys
19. When your kid checks on the neighbors
20. When you try to explain to your kid that you have a FREE camera on your phone
21. When your kid makes himself at home
22. When you’re like get me the @$%# out of here as soon as possible
Do I need to mention the part where you have two hangry kids, an wieldy shopping cart and you can’t find your car in the parking lot?
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