Since this past fall has been dedicated to selling my book (oh my god, just buy it already so I can STOP!!!), it made sense to end the year with a whole bunch of “Remarkably Average Excerpts.” 12 Days of #RemarkablyAverageExcerpts, to be exact, because that’s what Jewish authors do when they are not counting down to an actual Christmas.

For the past 9 days, I’ve been posting excerpts to my @averageparentproblems Instagram account in one last attempt to get you to buy my book for the holidays.

The excerpts include photos, memes, quotes, and charts… all of which you can find peppered in the pages of “The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting” alongside my stories and narrative.

I’ve got three days left, but I thought I’d put all 12 of them here for posterity’s sake. Hope you enjoy! Even if you don’t buy the book.

1) Chapter 9: “Are We Having Fun Yet”

2) 11 More Translations of “Toddler Speak” on Page 115

3) More “Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor” on Page 29

4) Chapter 20: “Even Ice Cream Causes Tantrums”

5) Chapter 7: “You Thought Your Diet was Hard”

6) In addition to #BabySuiting, there’s actual newborn advice on Pages 42-45

7) Chapter 6: “All Maternity Leaves Must Come to an End”

8) More “Scenes From a Toddler’s House” on Page 136-137

9) Chapter 8 is dedicated to sleep (or lack thereof)

10) Poor Mike on Page 93

11) Chapter 12: “Pooping and the Potty”

12) Going on vacation (not really) with kids on Pages 204-206

So there you have it. My big holiday push. Did it work?

Seriously, if you want to help me out with sales, comment on @averageparentproblems when I post an excerpt about how much you love the book! I mean, only if you loved the book, of course…

Also, I’d like a review on Amazon for Christmas and a review on Good Reads for Hanukah!

Thank you 🙂