Kids are basically home disasters waiting to happen. You know the phrase “like a bull in a china shop”? That should really be “like a kid in a clean house”, because if your kid has two feet and opposable thumbs, your clean home is going straight to hell in a heartbeat.

Things I previously thought were completely safe to have in my home have suddenly become total hazards. Ordinary things like lipstick, orange juice and cous-cous. FYI, you should never serve cous-cous to a toddler. IT GETS EVERYWHERE. You will be stepping on cous-cous for days.

Then there are clean-up hazards you never had in your home prior to having children— like play-doh, glitter and diaper cream.

Don’t combine diaper cream and glitter is all I’m saying.

And who knew something as innocent as play-doh could create such a mess? Isn’t the whole point that it stays together in clumps? Nope. Play-doh makes crumbs worse than crackers.

Also, the speed at which a child can destroy a room is impressive. And if your small child is playing with another small child? Multiply that mess times a thousand.

Toys strewn about, craft supplies over turned, legos seemingly thrown up into the ceiling fan to be distributed evenly throughout the room. Like your child’s playmate moonlights as the Tasmanian Devil.

This is our den two minutes after a playdate began.

But do you know when the worst happens?

When it’s QUIET.

Nothing is simultaneously peaceful and terrifying quite like a silent house with awake children roaming about freely.

While you’re blissfully sipping your coffee or turning your head for a millisecond, a kid can cover an entire living room in kitty litter. Overflow a bath you didn’t even know they were taking. They can spread ketchup on the curtains, spill syrup on the carpet and write “Hi, Mom! I love when you don’t pay attention!” on the bathroom mirror in lipstick.

In a moment of silence, Harlow keyed our newly painted living room. Where she got the key? I have no idea— we still don’t know what it opens.

Also, half the reason I shy away from craft projects is because I fear the mess. Finger paints open in my house? Glitter sitting on the dining room table? Glue within arm’s reach? It sounds like I might have to move when their little art project is finished.

Have you ever tried to clean while the kids are still awake or at home? IMPOSSIBLE.

I firmly believe this is the real reason kids go to school during the day— so houses can get swept, mopped and put back in order.

You know, so your child has a fresh canvas to destroy when he/she gets home.

Of course, you don’t need to be of school age to make a mess. Babies have diaper blowouts on the kitchen floor, figure out how to spill milk from their bottle all over the couch, and wipe mashed peas on every surface imaginable.

Today, I am starting a contest with Seventh Generation to find the biggest mess created by the littlest kid.

The mess can be the kind you need to mop up (like a spill of epic proportions), the kind that requires a bath (like a toddler rolling around in your make-up drawer) or the kind that takes two seconds to make and ten hours to put away (like a playroom after a particularly raucous playdate). If more than one kid created the mess, that is eligible too.

Five winners will receive $50 worth of Seventh Generation products and one grand prize winner will receive a $1000 Target gift card. Yep, you read that right!

Post your photos on the Mommy Shorts Facebook page or on Instagram with the hashtag #bigmesslittlekid. If you enter on Instagram, make sure you tag and follow both @mommyshorts and @seventhgeneration to win.

I’ll be picking my favorites over the next few weeks based on both size of the mess and size of the kid(s) who created it. Finalists will be announced on August 7th and put to a vote on the blog. The winner will be announced on August 14th.

You can see the full rules here.

When you are tackling messes with little kids in the house, it’s important to use non-toxic products that won’t pollute the air or coat surfaces with harmful chemicals. Particularly when toddlers love to lick windows and put every object in their mouth.

All Seventh Generation products are plant-based formulas that are safe and effective, not only for your home and family, but designed with the planet and future generations in mind.

Their All-Purpose Cleaner tackles stains, dirt, and grease without creating harsh fumes. Their Glass & Surface Cleaner cleans to a streak-free shine without bringing tears to your eyes. Their Tub & Tile Cleaner helps keep bathroom surfaces free from soap scum build-up with real essential oils and botanical extracts— no gloves or ventilation required. Their Disinfecting Wipes use a Thyme Oil technology to kill 99.99% of household germs including the Influenza A virus and your #1 enemy— the Common Cold. Their baby wipes aren’t just good for blowouts, their great to give to little kids to help clean their own messes.

The best part?

If your kid wants to help you out with the cleaning, you can hand over the all-purpose cleaner without giving them a mask and a hazmat suit.

That’s a win/win for all.

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This contest is sponsored by Seventh Generation but all messes are my own.