I looked at my editorial calendar last night to see if there was anything specific I was supposed to write for today and it says “Post About Mike”. That’s because January Me must have been super on my game about Father’s Day. But what to write? Something sappy? Something comical? Over the last five years, I feel like I’ve already written every permutation of a Father’s Day post.
So, I looked to my friends at Buzzfeed who churn out this stuff at the speed of light and thought… what would Buzzfeed write???
23 Potential Titles If Buzzzfeed Wrote a Father’s Day Post About My Husband:
1) 41 Things My Husband Says that Drive Me Absolutely Crazy
2) 137 Things My Husband Keeps in a Pile Next to the Bed
3) 29 Ways My Husband is Passive Aggressive When It Comes to Doing the Dishes
4) 19 Highly Questionable TV Shows My Husband Thinks are Acceptable to Watch in Front of the Children
5) 47 Times My Husband Has Accused Me of Overpacking
6) 23 Excuses My Husband Makes Not to Get Up with the Kids in the Morning or Put them to Bed at Night
7) 2 Times My Husband Has Actually Attempted to Brush Our Daughter’s Hair
8) 57 Times My Husband Has Told Me I’m Not Strict Enough When Disciplining the Kids and then Turns Around to Bribe Them with Ice Cream
9) 22 Times My Husband has Complained About a Business Trip that Sounds like Absolute Heaven to Me
10) 97 Times My Husband has Lost It Because I Left the TV On, Even Though It Looks Off to Me
11) 19 Shirts My Husband Has in His Closet that Look Exactly the Same
12) 24 Pairs of Boxers My Husband Should Just Throw in the Trash Already
13) 27 “Models” My Husband Follows on Instagram
14) 31 Remotes My Husband Claims are All Necessary for our Entirely Too Complicated Home Entertainment System
15) 431 Old Issues of Sports Illustrated My Husband has Saved from His Childhood Because He Has a Dream of One Day Hanging the Covers in Some Imaginary Man Cave
16) 22 Times I have Left Mike with the Kids and Returned to Find Him Napping While They are Destroying the House
17) 47 Really Important Errands My Husband Has to Run on the Weekends While I Figure Out What to Do with the Kids
18) 35 Sushi Rolls My Husband Ate After He was Already Full Because He Finds it Physically Impossible to Leave Sushi Uneaten on a Plate
19) 237 Evenings My Husband Has Given Me “The Look” When It Should Be Obvious I am Absolutely Exhausted
20) 149 Times My Husband has Asked Me If I Remembered to Shut the Kitchen Light Before I went to Bed
21) 67 Times My Husband has Complained that I’m on my Phone too Much While He is Also Playing on his Phone
22) 87 Times I’ve Thought Tonight is the Night We Will Finish Watching House of Cards Only to Find My Husband Watching Basketball
23) 1021 Reasons I Couldn’t Imagine Raising My Kids With Anyone But Him
Thank you, Mike for never caring when I make fun of you on the blog. Your ability to take a joke is my one of my favorite things about you and I’m fully aware you could write a much longer list about me.
Happy Father’s Day, Mr. Mommy Shorts!
What would Buzzfeed write about your husband?
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