Today is the second post in my “Monday Morning” series with lifestyle photographer Raquel Bianca. We are documenting five mothers in the NY area (chosen at random from Mommy Shorts commenters), to prove there is beauty in every mother’s morning, even if we need an outsider to see it.
I’m especially excited for today’s feature because Ilona Siller is the one mom who was not selected at random. Ilona is the mother that inspired this whole series by making the following comment on my facebook fanpage after she saw Raquel’s photos documenting my morning:
“I know it’s hard to show the ‘grey’ moments. God knows, nobody wants to pick up the camera when the baby is screaming for an hour. With that said, there is 5% of women in the world that can relate to your photos. The rest might be thinking ‘What the fuck am I doing wrong?’ I just wish the visual expectations were not so high.”
Ilona lives in a shitty apartment in Queens (her words, not mine) with her husband Lane and five-year-old daughter Amelie. Initially, she wasn’t sure she was comfortable letting us into her home.
Then she realized she always wanted a picture of her family doing what they do every day, “instead of posing on the one day we all got dressed up to go to someone’s wedding”.
Ilona described her mornings as “grouchy, rushed and predictable” and for the shoot, promised to be as authentic to her real morning as possible. In the end, vanity won out and she admitted to putting on a bra and a tiny bit of concealer.
After Ilona saw the photos, I asked her again for three adjectives to describe her morning.
“Cozy, warm and blessed.”
And that my friends, is why we are doing this.
Shitty apartment or not, Ilona’s morning is truly beautiful.
Ilona’s favorite part of the morning is her wake-up ritual with her daughter.
“Almost every morning, I wake my daughter up by pretending I am squirrel looking for nuts in her bed. She giggles, hides under the covers and eventually slides onto my lap for 30 glorious seconds of warm, lazy wake-up time.”
When I asked for the part she dreaded most, Ilona didn’t hesitate— “Putting my daughter’s tights on.”
Ilona and her husband are both working parents and share in the morning responsibilities. Lane is in charge of packing Amelie’s lunch and backpack and laying out her uniform.
Ilona spends her morning cheerfully suggesting, then begging, then shouting for Amelie to wake up, brush her teeth and get her shoes on.
Then she walks Amelie to the bus and they wait for it to arrive together.
I asked Ilona what she thought when she saw her photos and she said…
“I felt vulnerable and blessed. I felt warmth for my little family. I quietly criticized my tiny New York apartment (wow, my place is small) and how I looked (wow, my ass is big) but overall I felt so thankful that Raquel captured something I take for granted. In a few years, I will look at these with tears in my eyes and love every inch of that small apartment and every inch of that big ass. This is such a gift.”
Thank you, Ilona for letting us all see a glimpse into your beautiful home.
“Shitty” is obviously in the eye of the beholder.
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If you want to be part of my next project (whatever that might be), follow Mommy Shorts on facebook.
This post is part of a series called “Monday Mornings”, documenting five different mothers throughout the NY area, in order to help us see the beauty in our mornings through an outsider’s eye. It is done in collaboration with the amazing photographer, Raquel Bianca.
I think almost everyone feels they have a rushed, crazy or shitty morning.it truly is hard once you’re in the midst of it to see that beauty lies in the hard and rushed moments. I am a stay at home auntie to my niece and nephew. I love every second of our morning. Crazy or not. Because one day they’ll get themselves ready and meet their friends or drive a car. You’ll be the one left longing for those days or wishing to drive them to school. So we should all pledge to love our crazy days 🙂
LOVE those photos! Amazing shots…her daughter is beautiful and I love the family relationship that was captured in all those pictures. My mom never walked me to the bus…that’s something I would have loved and I’m sure that her daughter will look back fondly on those moments when she is older.
I love, love, love this idea. I think if I had to describe our Monday mornings, it would be similar to Ilona’s self-description. Insane, messy, grumpy, rushed. But honestly, I think if a photographer were there with us, (s)he’d capture some pretty beautiful moments. We really are blessed in spite of our perceptions. Looking forward to more in this series!
Ohmygoodness this is so beautiful.
Absolutely LOVE this!!!!
The shots on the way and at the bus stop are GORGEOUS!!
I think I’ve already commented on the beauty of authentic photos right?
Swoon!! Shitty or not, her home is more put together than mine. 😉 And what gorgeous pictures!!!!! Gah! So, so gorgeous!!! Beautiful family! Love this series!!!!! So much.
These photos are beautiful and made me a little teary. Such a sweet reminder that we need to be easier on ourselves and enjoy the small moments of beauty we have mixed in with all the other craziness that goes along with being parents. I love this series so, so much!
Thank you Ilona. I looked at your pictures with tears in my eyes this morning. Beauty can be found in every moment, thanks for the reminder! I guess the question isn’t “is there beauty in my moment that seems so ugly?” but rather “can I adjust my attitude enough in this moment to find the beauty that’s here?” Love this series!
I love this series!
This brought tears to my eyes! It is lovely to see life through a different lens.
This was just awesome. Loved it! Can’t wait to see more!
I love, love, love this idea! Can’t wait to see the others. These photos are so real and beautiful. Mornings seem so rushed and stressful but those everyday moments really are special when you stop to look. Great job!
Love this Ilana! Such a beautiful idea.
I simply could not love this more.
TY for helping all us moms realize that our lives are blessed beyond measure. IIona’s pictures and life are beautiful.
These are beautiful.
Her life is beautiful.
Sometimes when we’re ‘in it” it is hard to enjoy the moment, the little blessings. I remember those mornings that had you feeling like you had worked a full day just getting everyone where they were supposed to be! But sitting here with a daughter in college and a son in high school, I shed more than a few tears for those years that are behind me now. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
her life is perfectly imperfect… that’s what makes it wonderful =)
I love this series! Beautiful- brought tears ro my eyes.
Thank you Ilona for inspiring this beautiful series. I love everything about it.
I love this series so much. Beautiful photos of another beautiful family.
This makes me wonder what my mornings would look like. Half of the time I’m still in my ratty tshirt and sweatpants, unshowered, crazy hair, when my husband takes the kids to school. There is a lot of stress and yelling because my daughter likes to play instead of doing what she needs to do. My kitchen counter never looks neat – it always has papers, lunch boxes, water bottles and food all over it. And I am usually yelling at one of my kids to do something. No one is ever sitting at the table at the same time as someone else. But I don’t think the rushing will ever show up in photos.
love!
Gosh, I LOVE this series. I love how each Mom has been so happy and blessed with the photos!!! What a beautiful family and cozy apartment :).
The pic of Amelia looking at her Dad while he puts on his shoes is HYSTERICAL, and the bus stop photos are obviously my favorite.
I love the photo of Amelia watching Dad put on his shoes and then the one with Mom and Amelia on the steps (of their shoes) just is a sweet photo. I don’t know why I am pulled to that one. Beautiful photos – a happy family – warms my heart
for some reason all of these post have me tearing up as I read them.
I think part of it is seeing the beauty in what most days feels like the messy,
unorganized, daily routine of being a mom. As a stay- at -home mom
I feel anything but glamorous. Most days I am lucky if I just get a quick shower.
But there is such beauty in loving on our kids. Making them feel like
they hung the moon and are absolutely perfect in our books. I live in
Nashville but I am thinking of hiring someone to come in and do these
pictures. It won’t be but a blink of an eye and these moments will vanish.
I especially love the photo of her doing her daughter’s hair. Such a sacred mother-daughter ritual filled with love, angst, laughter, stillness….changes over the years but such a small place to make a strong connection.
This definitely makes me reconsider my crazy mornings! Wondering if there is a difference on the mornings my husband doesn’t travel and can help out with the hustle and bustle. Versus the weeks he is often gone and I am on my own to get 4 kids and 1 dog fed and out the door. What a great idea to do this series!! I. Love it. Everyone has such gorgeous warm cozy mornings. Thanks for making me stop to think ladies!
Add me to the list of readers who absolutely love this series. I must admit, I was feeling similar to Ilona when I first saw the original post, although I appreciated the great photos. But after seeing the other moms and thinking about it, I have realized that even the worst mornings at our house do have moments of beauty. I’ll keep working to see those.
These photos are wonderful. And Ilona – your ass is NOT big! You look absolutely lovely. Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us.
Ilona you do not have a big ass! Beautiful photos, beautiful family x
Funny, my rented house in the Dallas suburbs is definitely not shitty, but it’s totally empty. Barely any furniture, no pictures or art on the walls, no rugs, pillows, curtains, paint… Ilona’s home looks like a family lives there, and it feels like you could come over for coffee and just feel at ease. It’s kind of like the velveteen rabbit effect; her house is full of love so it is “real.” Mine feels like my 12th address in 10 years, and I know I’ll move again in a year, so why bother.
The apartment looks really charming (love that orange wall) and I didn’t see a big ass in sight.
Okay, I got extremely confused considering you both have the same name. But I eventually figured it out once I realized the spelling was different, ha.
I’m glad IlOna realized her morning was beautiful. I wish I was in the area and could participate in this because I really don’t see the beauty in my morning whatsoever. But, after seeing these mothers, I’m sure it’s in there somewhere.
Teary. We all need to be reminded of our blessings. Although I don’t see a photo of the shrieking. But photos, like our memories, can be used to remember what we most want to hold dear. And the shrieking isn’t in that category for me.
I think that is the point. We see ourselves as “ratty t-shirt, unshowered, crazy hair” but our husband and kids see “comfortable clothes, natural beauty”; and the photos allow us to start seeing that too.
We see/hear stress and yelling and feel rushed and tense – the photos eliminate that as it doesn’t translate well into still form – and instead we see the quiet hidden beauty.
It doesn’t mean that every second is awesome and to be treasured, that is unrealistic – but it means that there are some seconds we can find if we remember to look for them, that are awesome and to treasure, and hopefully those shining sparks eclipse the majority of rust. And for me it has meant that I not only try to look for sparks – but I now try to create more of them. To try and not spend 10 seconds yelling at my preschooler to get dressed, but instead spend 20 seconds telling her how I will tickle her armpit if she doesn’t get dressed fast enough – and to treasure that 20 seconds of belly laughs is better than 10 seconds of screaming followed by 5 minutes of tears.
That doesn’t mean I am perfect or that I never yell. It just means I do it a bit less and try a bit harder to look for the joy instead.
These are my favorites. Thanks Ilana and Ilona.
Ilona, I didn’t even NOTICE your ass in any of the pictures! Your place is small but damn it looks cozy and uncluttered!
So true. When it’s over we want it back. Wish we would have been warned that this is the last time you will have this sweet person to cuddle with and comfort when they are young. Then they do drive a car. Hopefully, safely.
I love this series so much. Beautiful photos!
I kind of feel the same way. I need someone to literally show me how our mornings are beautiful because it’s impossible for me to see past my daughter’s tears and the hairbrush being thrown at me.
Yup, the tears were welling up. Very beautiful, real and just lovely.
My sister and i live together. I leave for work before the kids get up in the morning, and she gets them up and ready for school. On my days off i get to witness parts of their morning routine and contribute my own to it as well. She rolls my son off the bed, because he thinks it’s funny, and tickles my daughter awake. I know some days it can be stressful on her, especially because they aren’t her kids, but i also know how special those little moments are. It really is a blessing to have family who loves your kids as much as you do.
This is perfect. I couldn’t love it more.
Asking questions are really nice thing if you are not understanding anytfhing
totally, except this paragraph provids good understanding yet.
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