Mazzy’s newest favorite saying is “NO FAIR.” I’m using all caps because it is said in ALL CAPS. And not ALL CAPS AWESOME. It is said in ALL CAPS ANNOYING. I am not exaggerating when I say we hear these words about 75 times a day.

“Time to get dresssed!”


“We have to leave or else we will miss the bus!”


“You can’t keep your entire My Little Pony collection laid out on the dining room table.”


“You have to go to the bathroom before you go to bed.”


I don’t know who taught Mazzy the concept of “fairness” but they definitely didn’t teach it right. Mazzy’s use of “no fair” is closer to “I don’t like this” or “I don’t want to do that.”

“You can’t have ice cream. You just ate cherry ices.”


“No, actually that is VERY FAIR.”


“Mazzy, I don’t really think you are grasping the concept of fairness.”

Have you ever tried to explain “fair” to a four-year-old? It is impossible.

“When something is ‘no fair’, it means there has been some kind of injustice. There has been no injustice in me saying the bus is coming or that you have to put clothes on for school. If I said you had to get dressed for school but Harlow was free to lounge around all day in her pajamas then—”


To really drive her point home, every “NO FAIR” is followed by a dramatic crossing of the arms and a foot stomp. In that order. Sometimes a grunt is thrown in at the end for punctuation too. See if you can imagine this exactly.


Arm cross.

Foot stomp.


Isn’t this a lovely face to come home to?

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The worst part about the surging popularity of “no fair” in our household, is that it appears to be contagious.

“I’m sorry, Harlow, we are out of waffles.”


Crossing of the arms, foot stomp.

“Let’s change your diaper!”


Crossing of the arms, foot stomp, grunt.

Although, while Mazzy’s “no fair” gets on my nerves, Harlow’s “no fair” is ridiculously adorable. I mean, I wish she wasn’t following her older sister’s example but seeing my 23-month old peanut do the arms-crossed-foot-stomp thing makes me crack up every time.

You know who doesn’t find it cute?


After the two of them went back and forth over who was crowding who on the couch (a very popular argument), with Harlow saying “NO FAIR” each time Mazzy made a request for her to move, I heard what I had been waiting for.


Ah, a taste of her own medicine.

“Mazzy, maybe if you stopped saying ‘no fair’, then Harlow would stop saying ‘no fair’ too.”

Mazzy: NO FAIR.

Crossing of the arms, foot stomp, grunt.

Harlow: NO FAIR.

Crossing of the arms, foot stomp, grunt.

Yeah. I guess this phase is going to stick around for awhile.