I’m about to talk about smells. Not the good kind (we’ll get to that later). The kind that makes you break out the air freshener spray even though you hate the way the air freshener spray smells. You’re just hoping the metallic odor of the air freshener will disguise the even worse smell.
What does it say about air freshener that we spray it as far away from our bodies as possible and then hold our breath as we run out of the room like we have three seconds before the whole bathroom detonates?
Did I say bathroom? Yeah, that’s where the worst smells in our house happen (totally not my doing *ahem*), plus I wouldn’t dream of bringing the air freshener out of the bathroom where it could actually be sprayed near things we eat and sleep in.
I do not trust my air freshener. I do not want to inhale it. I do not want to eat it. I basically use it for EMERGENCY SMELL SITUATIONS. And smell emergencies only exist in my house when we have visitors. Otherwise, I’d rather wait out the natural stench than breathe in the chemical fumes of the supposed “freshener.”
This is why I am so excited Method just launched its new air refreshers. They come in lovely natural scents: french lavender, beach sage, wild poppy, sweet tangerine and fresh clover. The beach sage is my favorite, followed by the sweet tangerine. Mazzy likes the fresh clover. I asked her what she thought it smelled like and she said, “leaves”. EXACTLY.
Since it’s Method, I know all the products are non-toxic and eco-friendly. The new air refreshers are designed with revolutionary pressurized air technology, which means unlike most traditional aerosol sprays (which are powered by petroleum-based propellant mixed in with the product), they are powered by PURE AIR.
How that works exactly, I don’t know, but I don’t really know how my TV turns on either. All I know is that when you spray, you fill your room with one of Method’s vibrant all-natural scents. No CFCs (those are the things that destroy the ozone). No dirty propellants. No need to run out of the room screaming.
Today, Method and I are launching something really exciting. Remember when I created the Healthy Mama ad campaign earlier this year and then asked you all to write your own headlines for a chance to win $750? And you guys wrote way funnier lines than I did to begin with?
I’m doing the same for Method Air Refreshers. I created five mock ads (one for each of their fresh scents) talking about the things that stink in my house.
Here goes…
Now, I’d like to throw it to you guys to come up with even better, more specific, stinkier headlines (I’m assuming things smell bad in your house too), for the chance to win a grand prize $1,000 Target gift card and a year supply of Method Air Refreshers.
Plus, nine secondary winners will get a $50 gift card and the complete line of Method Air Refreshers.
Enticing enough for you?
To enter, just make sure you…
1) Follow both Method and Mommy Shorts on facebook
2) Share this post in some way (like/share on facebook, tweet on twitter, call your mom, etc.)
3) Leave a comment below. (You can enter multiple times, but please only leave one headline per comment.)
The structure should be as follows:
It’s like Mad Libs for horrible household smells! (Feel free to incorporate car and office stench too.) If more than one person enters the same stench, I will select the headline I think is worded the best. If they are worded the same, preference will go to the person who commented first.
You can find the full rules here.
I’ll post some of my favorites next week and then gear up to my ten finalists on September 4th. Then the winner will be selected by vote on September 17th.
If the headlines are funny enough (and I know you guys are funny)— there’s a slight possibility Method could actually use this in their Air Refresher campaign…
Fingers crossed and good luck!
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This post was sponsored by Method, but all thoughts, opinions and ad mock-ups are my own.
Instead of my car smelling like the soccer team played in a field of toxic waste, I would like it to smell like a field of clover.
Instead of the basement smelling like we hosted poker night for the neighborhood cats, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
instead of my kid’s bedroom smelling like mystery funk of unknown origin, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Insted of my sons’ closet smelling like a frat house on Sunday morning, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of the powder room smelling like my boys have poor aim, I would like it to smell like poppies.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like three weeks worth of rotting compost, I’d like it to smell like lavender.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like the end result of my 4 year old feeding the dog M&Ms while my back was turned, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like what my daughter just asked me to come wipe, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover
Instead of my son’s bedroom smelling like, well, a son’s bedroom, I would like it to smell like lavender.
Instead of our bedroom smelling like last night’s garlic pasta crawled into bed with us, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my living room smelling like pregnancy gas, I’d like it to smell like French lavender.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like my husband forgot to take out the garbage-again, I would like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like the inside of a gym locker in June, I would like it to smell like poppies.
Instead of the diaper genie in the toddler room smelling like a landfill on a hot day, I wish it smelled like French lavender.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like last night’s ethnic buffet, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my kids’ bathroom smelling like a turtle habitat made out of wet dog hair, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my mudroom smelling like a troupe of teenage boys sneakers I wish it smelled like French lavender instead
Instead of the powder room smelling like what my daughter just asked me to come wipe, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like a skunk’s habitat, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like sweaty armpits (ground cumin) from last nights Taco dinner, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine!
Instead of my living room smelling like the 80 dollar fish that mysteriously disappeared from our salt water reef tank 3 weeks ago (you know, back in July) never to be seen or found again, I would like it to smell like beach sage!!
Instead of my kitchen smelling like my toddler decided to play another round of hide the rotting egg in the cabinet, I’d like it to smell like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my carpet smelling like wet dog and skunk (after our dog met a skunk in the rain), I’d love for it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of the kids closet smelling like those sticky plastic shoes after two hours at the park, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of my bedroom smelling like my husband forgot to shower at the gym, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like the stinky cheese and tuna sandwich my husband ate, I’d like for it to smell like sweet tangerine
*not sure why mine got deleted, reposting*
Instead of crowded metro/subway trains smelling like a melting pot of BO (body odor) in the afternoon rush hour, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my car smelling like 3 week old spilled chocolate milk I’d like it to smell like clover so I can pretend I’m driving in a peaceful field of wildflowers and not to the grocery store for third time this week with two fussy children in the back… *sigh*
Instead of my bathroom smelling like Oh my gosh I need to burn my house down I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine
*not sure why mine got deleted, reposting*
Instead of my living room smelling like the occasional burst of stink bombs while following a video workout routine of jumping jacks, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my couch smelling like the gym sock my husband lost a week ago, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
*not sure why mine got deleted, reposting*
Instead of my bathroom smelling like the porta potty at a state county fair, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like last month’s leftovers that we swore we’d eventually eat, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my kid’s bedroom smelling like the “accident” I wearily covered up with a towel at 3 a.m., I’d like it to smell like french lavender.
Instead of my minivan smelling like the unwashed feet of a thousand ninja warriors after an intense workout, I’d like it to small like beach sage (you know, so I don’t wreck after passing out from holding my breath and driving really fast).
“Because ‘Sweet Tangerine’ is a much better scent than ‘Frat House Full of Four Year Olds.”
Instead of my car smelling like it would get a positive hit from a K9 cadaver dog, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Oops. Didn’t realise the one headline per entry rule…
Instead of the house smelling of the scent combo of moldy corn chips and puppy poo that is my son’s feet, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my family room smelling like the half-eaten yogurt my toddler deposited behind the couch, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my kid’s backpack smelling like the frog he found at recess, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of the bathroom smelling like the elephant pin at the zoo, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my playroom smelling like that ham sandwich my toddler “misplaced” weeks ago I would like it smelling like fresh lavender.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like someone went on a poo-slinging rage, I rather it smell like beach sage!
Ha!
Instead of my house smelling like parental defeat, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
I have three boys. A paste of baking soda and lemon juice helps.
Instead of our car smelling like prison wine fermenting in a rogue juice box under my seat, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of my diaper pail smelling like the back of a garbage truck on a hot summer day I would like it to smell like wild poppy
Instead of my kitchen smelling like the previous owners experienced a curry chicken explosion, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my mud room smelling like our wet dog Rover, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover!
Instead of my car smelling like my kid’s feet after a hard day of playing, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of the baby’s room smelling like the diaper pail we forgot to empty before we went on vacation, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of the trash can smelling like my mother in law’s meatloaf (she’ll know we didn’t eat it!), I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine – hurry!
Instead of the diaper pail smelling like a zombie’s dirty underpants , I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of My Kitchen Smelling Like I forgot the pizza in the oven, I want it to Smell Like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my car smelling like last week’s sippy cup, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like an outhouse at the state fair, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Lavendar.
Instead of my office smelling like the burrito that my toddler pushed between the desk and the wall a week ago and I just found today, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like 3 boys used my walls for target practice , I’d like it to smell like fresh clover!
Instead of my kitchen smelling like burned cookies and disappointment, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like I forgot to move yesterday’s wet load to the dryer (AGAIN), I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead if my car smelling like a week old forgotten poopy diaper, is like for it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like fresh popcorn and Parmesan cheese, if like for it to smell like wild tangerine.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like a fermenting hockey bag I’d like it to smell like Wild Poppy
Instead of my garage smelling like a raccoon is using my musty boxes of childhood memories as a litter box, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my baby’s nursery smelling like a hot diaper baking in the sun I’d like it to smell like wild poppy
Instead of my livingroom smelling like wet dog, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy
Instead of my closet smelling like the desperation of someone who still owns clothes from three kids and six sizes ago, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my car smelling like two team baseball bags & stanky cleats, I’d rather it smell like fresh clover
Instead of my livingroom smelling like my 10 years olds stinky cheese feet, I would like it to smell like sweet tangerine
Instead of my van smelling like my husband farted during his entire 30 minute commute, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of my basement smelling like shoe polish, home gym and dirty laundry, I’d like it to smell like beach sage
Instead of my kitchen smelling of the rotten sweet potato that was forgotten in the drawer, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Seriously a wretched smell that I could not track down for a week.
Instead of my teenage boys room smelling like a mixture of sweaty gym socks, unwashed butt, and old cheese, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like the litter box my husband “forgot” to clean again, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage
Instead of my bathroom smelling like vomit brought on by a rough first trimester, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender
Instead of my living room smelling like wet dog on a hot summer day, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my car smelling like my son’s football cleats, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover!
Instead of my living room smelling like the bowl of cereal my 3 year old hid behind the entertainment center 4 days ago, I’d like it to smell like Wild Poppy.
Instead of my car smelling like a carpool of sixth grade boys after football practice, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my car smelling like stale cheese crackers, a month old coffee cup, and the accident that my potty training kid had in their car seat, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my basement smelling like the old cat lady’s cats missed the litter box one too many times, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of my tent smelling like we’re camping for a week without showers, I’d like it to smell like wild poppies.
Instead of the nursery smelling like a dirty diaper is like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of my car smelling like the yogurt-covered raisin vomit that’s melded into the car seat straps, I’d like it to smell like a beach.
Instead of my mudroom smelling like teen boy gym socks, I’d like it to smell like french lavender.
Instead of my car smelling like that half-full sippy cup that rolled under the seat a month ago, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like my lactose intolerant husband drank a glass of milk, I would like to it smell like Wild Poppy as I soak in the tub.
Instead of the subway smelling like the drunk person passed out next to me, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my foyer smelling like my pug’s personal fire hydrant I’d like it to smell like wild poppy
Instead of my laundry room smelling like neglect I’d like it to smell like wild poppy
HAHAH! I can so relate to this one! Washing machine running on the regular.
Instead of my car smelling like we took a field trip to the dairy farm, I’d like my car to smell like we took a field trip to a meadow of french lavender.
Instead of my guest bathroom smelling like an infirmary for incontinent felines, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my couch smelling like the dog’s personal nap zone, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my living room smelling like stale milk and fresh vomit, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like boob sweat and feet, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like a pubescent wrestling team’s locker room, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my van smelling like an overflowing trash truck left out in the sun, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.