There are two kinds of bad family holiday photos. There are the intentionally bad. Like the ones where everybody wears the same ridiculous holiday sweater and sits earnestly around the fire with their dog. (Those are supposed to be jokes, right?)
And there are the unintentionally bad family holiday photos. The outtakes from your attempt to get the perfect family shot to pair with your ten page holiday newsletter. Except the baby starts crying and your toddler refuses to look at the camera and no matter how much you put on your best smile, you fail to hide the true misery that lurks behind your dark vacant eyes.
Or maybe the photographer captured the exact moment everyone had enough with photo-taking and the result was a group of people who looked like the holiday cheer had been sucked out of them by a Christmas demon.
I want to see those photos. The outtakes you would never use as your holiday card.
The ones where all of your children are on perfect behavior except for one child, dead center, who is screaming his head off.
I want to see the photos where you had no idea there was anything wrong with them until you looked at them after the fact.
I want to see the family photo where you almost dropped your child on his head.
The one where all three kids forgot the meaning of "JOY" at once.
Or the one where everyone just wanted to get the fuck out of Disneyland.
I want to see the photo where your twins thought they were being kidnapped by Santa.
The one where you duct taped your baby to the window so she wouldn't feel left out.
The one where you forced your goth teenager and his friends to hang out with the Mall Santa.
I want to see the photo where your elderly OBGYN confused your baby's feet for his head.
The one where you pretended to cry because it was the only way to salvage the shoot.
And the one where you lost your mind and made everyone in your family hold a cucumber.
Wait. WTF? I have no idea what's happening in the photo above. Somehow the best part is the older sister who was obviously thinking, "Fine mom, I'll hold your stupid cucumber, but I will only half-heartedly hold it while I text my friends."
Anyway, I'm sure you've got a photo somewhere that you would never put on your holiday card. I'm betting you have more of those photos than the good ones. Or maybe you're the kind of family that would use a photo gone wrong as your holiday card? In which case, can we be friends???
That's the photo Anna from My Life and Kids used for her holiday card last year. Hey, at least the whole family was together!
Depending on the amount and quality of submissions (If I must, I'll show up at your house and search your hard drive while you sleep), I'll post the best of the worst on Dec 20th. Then we can all vote for a winner by Christmas.
The winner will get an illustrated custom family portrait from My Little Buffalo. That way, you can have your family drawn like they are all willingly participating in your holiday card, when obviously that is far from the truth.
Aren't they adorable? You send your photos (one of the whole family or individual pics of the people you want in the portrait) and My Little Buffalo sends you back a digital file for a 5X7 or 8X11 custom portrait. Then you can use them for holiday cards, stationary, or just frame it to hang on your wall.
You can even use it again next year and save yourself the trouble of trying to get your kids to sit still in their reindeer pajamas AGAIN. Who can sit still in reindeer pajamas, anyway?
The top ten finalists all get their very own copy of "Awkward Family Holiday Photos".
Then you can peruse hundreds of horrible photos and think, "Gee. My family isn't nearly as unphotogenic as I previously believed."
PLUS! One lucky person picked from the comment section below will win the entire Awkward Family Photos set inlcuding the original Awkward Family Photos, Awkward Family Holiday Photos and Awkward Family Pet Photos.
What's an awkward family pet photo? I'm so glad you asked!
Just leave a comment below to enter. And don't forget to upload your worst family photo pics to the Mommy Shorts Facebook Page or tag them @mommmyshorts and #mommyshorts_worstfamilyphoto on instagram.