First, Jimmy Kimmel does a segment on Baby Mugging (my official claim to internet fame) and now he's doing The Baby Bachelor.

Not to be confused with The Toddler Bachelor, which I posted way back in Sean's season.

Of course, Jimmy's got fancy camera equipment, an entire production crew, access to THE ACTUAL BACHELOR MANSION, and an audience of several million viewers to make his version come to life.

All I had was a laptop and photoshop. GODDAMNIT, JIMMY KIMMEL!

Jimmy is making The Baby Bachelor into a series, which if successful, can only be followed by one thing— THE BABY BACHELORETTE.

I think we all know who the most eligible baby bachelorettes are around here.

Hey Jimmy— I've got two contestants for you. I'll let you have them on one condition. YOU HIRE ME TO WRITE IT. If there is one thing on this earth I was born to do, it's put Bachelor cliches into the mouths of babies. 

Sigh. I've missed my calling. 

If writing it is out of the question, I'd be happy to be the chaperone on the fantasy dates. You gotta have someone who knows how to correctly buckle babies into the helicopter.

Behold the greatness…