You know that recurring nightmare where you're walking through the halls of your high school completely naked and everybody is laughing at you and it takes a moment to figure out why? Except instead of your high school it's your office and instead of "completely naked", it's you strapped to a breast pump in a strapless bra with holes in it? And instead of everyone laughing at you, they have these horrified looks on their faces like they may rethink all plans of procreating? And instead of you not knowing what's going on, you know exactly what's going on because this isn't a nightmare, it's your real fucking life?
Yeah.
Last week I wrote about pumping right out in the open at the sinks by the entrance to the bathroom, while people came in and out the door. This week, I am freelancing at a new office which actually has a room for me to use, but one wall is all windows looking out to the building across the way.
Even though, I could care less who knows what I am doing in there, I still don't feel quite comfortable giving the neighbors a show. Particularly a show that plays on regular timed intervals two-three times a day.
So, I'm left trying to figure out what to wear to work so that I can pump as discreetly as possible.
As we already know (see "Post Maternity Shopping, a Play in Three Acts"), post maternity clothes are next to impossible to find because you have a laundry list of requirements. But… I decided to take that laundry list, add my back-to-work pumping issues to the mix and actually find a uniform that works.
Dresses are out because then I have to completely disrobe. Button-down shirts are out because my boobs are two completely different sizes and the buttons pull all weird. The only thing that works is wearing jeans or tight pants with a loose long top. Tops that are made of material that don't cling to me in a wow-that-bagel-could-be-another-baby kind of way, tops that are long enough to cover my post maternity belly (and the top of my maternity jeans should I choose to wear them, oh my god, I love them so much, I think I'll wear them forever), and tops that are loose enough so that I can put my breast pump on and then pull the shirt back down over the whole apparatus altogether, making me 100% comfortable should anyone happen to barge in or take a peak.
The problem is I only have two shirts that fit the bill and they are starting to smell like breastmilk.
So, tonight I looked at every online shopping site I could think of (from Banana Republic to Zara to Bloomingdales) and started relishing tops that met my qualifications on Sweet Relish— the social shopping site I told you guys about a few weeks ago. Turns out, this kind of top seems to be on trend, and I found quite a few (see image up top) in solid modern shapes, as opposed to flowy floral peasant blouses.
Now I've got a handy "Back-to-Work Pumping Shirts" list on Sweet Relish with links to all the individual stores where I can purchase them. And thankfully, they all look like the kind of shirts I wouldn't have to try on in-store to make sure they fit before I purchase.
Is there a mom on earth that has time to go clothes shopping for herself OFFLINE??? If so, it's not me.
More importantly— if I was to buy two tops from the ones pictured above, which two should I pick?
If you'd like to follow my shopping lists on Sweet Relish or create your own, click here.
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This is a sponsored post from Sweet Relish but all of the thoughts and opinions are my own.
The black and white polka dot one for sure – looks long, has a v-neck, and a bit of shape. Of course, type of material is important… where is it from?
It’s a silk Joie blouse from Bloomingdales. Of course, for $238, you also picked the most expensive one of the bunch. Isn’t it crazy how we can do that blindly? Happens every time.
I like everything in the middle column though the last shirt (black with white trim and v-neck) looks like the v-neck might be a little deep. I know when I was pumping my nursing bras were very full coverage and seemed to peek out of a lot of tops if the neckline wasn’t perfect.
My trick was to bring a scarf type thing that I’d wear most of the days and then spread out over the pumping apparatus for coverage. Or if you have a nursing cover you can always throw that on. I used to pump in this room designated for pumping moms and we’d put a HUGE orange sign on the door saying not to come in. Several times people walked in on me, I think I gave one guy a heart attack. Read the sign buddy.
Lol… go figure! It’s true, it happens every single time with EVERYTHING (clothing, dishes, furniture, vacation locations, etc.)!
I just think every office should have a nap room/pump room. If we’re not getting paid maternity then at least let us have some privacy for pumping (and napping bc Jesus I’m tired)
Wow- those prices are INSANE! Pretty sure I saw about half of those tops at Target last week. Yikes!
I love the orange one, top center. Where’s that from? Looks like you could hide a breast pump in there. How about using a Hooter Hider over the top of whatever, too?
Man, I’m due in July and I am NOT looking forward to the pumping at work thing. At least they have a private office for me, but it’s in the next building. My boss always said I could use his office, but it seems weird to kick him out 2-3 times a day.
I think you are right about the v-neck. A bra sticking out isn’t the worst thing in the world but not with the bras I’ve been wearing lately.
I actually wear an Elle Macperson bra that has lace on the top for the purpose of being attractive if it shows under a shirt, but after pulling up and down the cup a few hundred times, it looks hideous and definitely not intentional. Still love the Elle Macpherson nursing bras though— both for comfort and support.
At the last place I was working, people never paid attention to my sign. This place has a lock on the door.
After having a baby and surviving the first few weeks, it’s easy to forget about what you will wear when you go back to work! Thanks for the great suggestions!
I’ve been working in pretty small offices though. This place has about fifteen people and is an open space with a glass conference room, a glass office for the two women who own the company and one closed room in the back which is what I have been using. I think the law in NYS is there must be a dedicated room if you have over 50 people. I imagine dedicating a room is much easier when you have an office space out of Manhattan.
Oh my god, having to go to the next building would kill me! As of now, there is no sink in my room, so I have to pump and then take everything to the bathroom after which is really annoying not to be able to close up shop all in one place.
I will say, once you get used to the feeling, it makes for a nice forced break in the day to check email, instagram, pinterest, facebook etc. I don’t know how working women did it before smart phones!
To be fair, I shop NEVER, so spending a little more on a couple quality items seems okay to me.
Bottom left (green) and bottom right (peach/pink). They are both so flowy (to hide the baby fat, if you have any) and look extremely comfortable. And you can dress them up or down. I think it’s a win, win.
Definitely top middle and middle right. Maybe the stripes, although that girl doesn’t look too happy about wearing it. Those tops always made me look more pregnant.
I had to pump in the NICU. They had pumping rooms, but they were down the hall, and it was a pain. They had privacy screes, but still. Nothing beats your (hot) neonatologist coming around the curtain to tell you about your babies’ status and seeing you with your boobs out.
I really like the first two. The black with the nifty sleeves and the “peach”.
Center square, bottom left and bottom right models have to contort themselves in a most unnatural way-translation, you’ll look huge in those (unless you’re comfortable posing like that).
LOVE that black-and-white V neck. Pair that with a cobalt blue stone statement necklace and no one will ever look south of the V anyway. It’s all about the accessories!
Check out Bauble Bar for trendy, inexpensive options.
http://www.baublebar.com/fashion-jewelry/jewelry-necklaces.html
Ha! I picked out that exact same one! Hilarious…and sad because I am broke.
Already been mentioned, but I like the top center and middle center best, but I do think you should be able to find similar but less expensive at some other stores. But maybe that’s just me, I live in the mid-west, not NYC, and really can’t imagine the cost of living there.
I vote one of the black ones (either the one above the words “back to” or the one below the word “tops”) and then the top coral colored one, above the word “post”.
Would you believe I am not pregnant, never have been, and don’t plan to be for a year or two, but I’m already shopping with that in mind, and analyzing my current wardrobe? I’m thinking things such as “score, I could totally wear that dress while pregnant” or “So what if it’s a maternity dress? I like it, I’m getting it anyways.”
I would go for something neutral (black is my staple) that could get a lot of wear, you could switch out accessories and probably get away with wearing a shirt twice in one week without anyone noticing!
My favorites are: top row (across): left (black) and middle. Not crazy about the giant horizontal stripes on the right side. And I also like: middle row, right (black with the cute neckline.) I have to say though, that I’m not crazy about the oranges, although you’d know better than me if they look good with your coloring. I do also like the one that you mentioned is the most expensive one. lol. Well, hey, quality matters, might be worth it.
These posts are inspiring me to try to invent what I like to call, “The Pumping Poncho.” Give me some time and I’m sure it will be great! ;-P (just kidding, although I am the sort of person who would just throw on a poncho. I’d probably throw on one of those plastic rain ones just to be ridiculous, but that’s because I’m nutty.)
Seriously though, all of those tops are really cute. Taking notes for the future! 😉
What about getting a few nursing tanks with a built in bra (also good for underneath and keeps the girls in place without a regular bra and covers cleavage in case you lean over during a meeting)? Target or Walmart has decent priced ones. I love mine.
Have you considered an oversized hoodie for the less-than-discreet pumping sessions? I used to pump and drive in the car and an oversized hoodie was my go-to. It was not fashionable, but neither is my noisy bustier and hey, I’m the only one in the car. My office was all glass-windowed offices and had some Post Its easel pads in supply, so I staked out a phone room and wallpapered the glass wall a la 5th Grade Health Class (where the boys and girls are separated? Does this happen anymore?). There was still no lock or sink, and literally the week I wrapped up pumping at work for good, they finished their fancy new office with a dedicated mothers’ room. Sigh.
Black is SLIMMING AND FORGIVING no matter when u had a baby (been 10 years for me, still love my black).
Please, PLEASE don’t get the black and white horizontal stripes. U will look like a very wide prisoner. (Even the model looks unhappy and she doesn’t have baby belly to possibly make her stripes look wavy across her middle.)
I like a number of them. Bottom right, top left.
Stick everything in the refrigerator and there is no rinsing involved. If you don’t like cold pump falanges ( who does?) wipe those down with medela wipes and then refrigerate the valve connector thingys. Alternatively have two sets of pump parts and throw everything dirty in one bag and wash ( or make hubby wash for you) at home. I read your blog or grade papers while pumping..if my students only knew!!
I love the polka dot one because if the shirt is going to be relatively unshapely, it should at least have a fun design/detail. Great idea to buy these types of shirts for coverage and easy access to pumping! I’m going to need this list in the future! As also, I’m going to look into buy Elle McPherson nursing bras since you are so fond of them! I have some from….Target?…They are uncomfortable and hard to access the girls.
I see you in the top center and top right….the wide black and white stripes aren’t for everyone but they seem very ‘Ilana’ if that makes sense? Thank God they are all in style 😉 I have a long torso and had hell finding anything to cover my stomach until all of these longer shirts came in style, praise!
Me being me, I take the upper left. Casual, pretty, and flowy.
Did you ever think about the Dria Cover? (Never tried it, but looks like a great solution…)
http://www.driacover.com/
I vote for the first 2 shirts.
I was a bridesmaid in 2 weddings not too long after having my daughter, which meant rushed pumping sessions in very public restrooms at wedding venues. At the first wedding, I sat on a toilet that was surrounded by mirrors on – no joke – all 4 sides, and a huge wall of unfrosted windows above that. That was fun, especially when I realized that the 2nd door to the room wasn’t locked & then I broke the antique doorknob off trying to lock it after someone walked through! At the 2nd wedding, I had to stand by the sink in the bridal dressing room while the wedding party, venue staff, family, etc. came in & out. And in. And out. Awkward smiles while I held my shirt over my chest. The photographer at that wedding started a conversation with me about it though. She told me she only lasted 5 weeks breastfeeding once she returned to work b/c there was just nowhere for her to pump when she was on location for weddings. She said it was nearly impossible to find the down time to hide in her car or find a restroom to pump in. I’m incredibly grateful that I had a locked room with a desk, chair, outlet, and fridge to use at work. Don’t mind the giant sign on the door that says NURSING MOTHERS ROOM….
Top middle and bottom right : )
Last red one and the first black one(: Good luck!!
I always used my nursing cover which worked great!
Very first black one. Very last peach coloured one. Or wear a Muumuu and call it a day 😉
Reconsider dresses — a v necked wrap dress could be the answer because you can take the top off without removing the whole dress — and the wrap dress forgives all sorts of shapes.
And treat yourself to new bras. Pronto. You deserve it.
I used my breastfeeding cover for nursing almost exclusively to cover up while pumping. The baby never tolerated it anyway. I kept it in my pump bag so I didn’t have to be exposed to my office mates! Bebe au lait has some nice styles.
How do you know that the black and white stripes are very Ilana? Have you met me in real life?? I wear black and white stripes all the time, whether they make me look wide or not.
ooh.. I didn’t have a smartphone while nursing the last one. just took a book. now I can have a book, words with friends, FB, etc. yay for that at least!
That top center peachy orangey one! It’s got the nicest cut I think.
I like the top orange the best– then the polka dot
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Great post ! Some good ideas! I found that you don’t always have to go with the tradition loose shirt – if you have a private pumping room a zip down dress can work too and is quick! Check out some of my best outfits here:
https://www.maiamoda.com/blogs/mom-feed/fashionstyle-guide-for-pumping-at-work