Ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wondered if you’d look younger if you never had any kids? Anna from My Life and Kids did. She sent me a guest post about a “true age test for moms” explaining “even though I’m only in my early thirties on paper, I’m pretty sure I’m much older than that in life”.
I liked her post so much, I added a few points of my own and turned it into a fancy graphic.
By the calculations below, I’d be 141 years-old and Anna would be 106. Apparently, one too many times prepping a snack of goldfish crackers on toast can age a person. You know what that means?
We’re pretty hot for CENTENARIANS.
Now, get out your calculators, take the test and tell us your age in MOM YEARS in the comment section.
You can read more from Anna at My Life and Kids.
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You suck. 😛 I am 135.
i got 456 but i kinda get it because im a teen mom so i dont do some of the things older moms do . I also have 1 kid and shes young so i get why my score is lower than alot of peoples scores.
I’m 198, but I don’t feel a day over 138, which is what I would be without the airplane rides and lovie searches. Hilarious!
How did you get 198 i got 456 and im a teen mom so i dont do as much as other moms and my baby is younger so i couldn’t count those points but how did you get so low.
I’d be 1,000 if we counted changing adult diapers. #sandwichgeneration
I’m 950 in mom years.. is that possible? I was in labor for 46 hours so that really shot up my age..
It was the labor hours that got me too.
I can’t accurately complete this calculation until you let me know the numbers for “showed up at workout class before realizing your legs and pits were unshaved, shrugged and participated anyway” “stayed up past 11pm – because picking lice out of your kids’ hair” followed by “woke up at 4:30am – to deal with dog with diarrhea. A dog you did not ask for yet spend more quality time with than your husband and kids”.
By the way – “waking up to kid staring at you?” priceless! I used to wake up to my first thinking about waking up – then two weeks ago my husband was gone, I woke up in a start at 2am to find my second had gotten out of her bed, climbed into mine, and was now fast asleep beside me. Told my husband and he said “Well, it would be freakier if she was standing staring at you”. To only have that exact thing happen a week later. Apparently when I thought I was giving birth to a baby, I was really giving birth to a m*th&rf$ck*ng Ninja!
I’m 81 without “frantically searching for a lost lovie” and 381 with that. Sigh….
My age in Mom years is only 51, so I guess I have it pretty good! =)
181 and that is seriously how old I feel. And projectile poo, ear infections, kid grommets, adenoid and tonsil operations would so make me way older.
I’m still in double digits with a youthful 99, woo hoo!
Oh my Gosh! I’m 154!
I’m officially giving up at 308. lol
I’m sure I could add more with the breastfeeding and traveling, but I refuse to celebrate anything over my 308th birthday!
I’m 98…gotta keep on keeping on!
Well… I am 221.. Thank you for giving me a way to justify the bags under my eyes and the booze in my fridge.
I am 942….
Damn I look good for 138! It was the 49 hours of labor that really made me old. 🙂 My oldest has a lovey and the minute he fell in love with it, we bought 3 more. If we hadn’t, I’d be so old!
Wow im 737. I actually feel much older than that. My 4 baby had colic real bad due to formula intolerance due to dairy. He stayed up all night screaming and most of the day for his first 3 mo of life then i had to leave by 7 am to take my other kids to school on no sleep. Then after that was resolved he was better but still to this day he dosent sleep and hes 2. He likes to stay up late wake up early. He dosent like to take naps and gets into everything making messes of food in the cupboards and spreading his toys all over the house. Plus i have to deal with a 9 and a 12 yr old and their fighting not listening and messes. Ugg im only 33 but been a mom since i was 15 and i look horrible. I think its the lack of sleep these last two years that is really catching up to me.
213….and I look awesome (minus the saggy boobs and that damn lina negra that will never go away even though baby #2 will be 1 in a few weeks). Also, I would say more points for having 2 in diapers(or 2 under the age of 2)…and surviving potty training with a toddler and baby 😉
More times that I would like to admit: pumped while driving to pick up the kids from daycare, because I didn’t have time at the office. My age is off the charts!
Considering I only have one…so far I’m 102…and don;t I know it!
460 years thanks to my 22 hour labor with child #1.
152 – and now I feel like I look amazing for my age instead of just haggard so thanks I appreciate the heads up.
I’m 30 mom years…does that sound right? I suppose that still makes me an unfertilized egg in normal years…
I’m 246, and man, no wonder I’m so tired! I couldn’t even figure the amount of times I’ve had to search for lovies with four kids, because I blocked all of that out. Except for the time we had to drive 20 minutes to get one from my friends house the next day, because it was just not worth surviving another night like that one.
I’m 166 and had to leave so much out because I’m still preggers with +3 (who will be born after my 35th birthday), so my real age has to be in the 200’s somewhere.
Oh, and this is a low figure, since I don’t know how many times I had to pull the car over with Braxton Hicks contractions that started at 25 weeks with one child. If you include that little bit of fun, I’m probably up to 1,0013, because each of them had me running to Labor and Delivery about once a week for months.
Not too bad – 111. However, I had twins, so some things should apply twice, I guess.
159 with only one and she’s only 1.5… I’m so screwed once number 2 comes along
If by “lovey” you mean “one specific Hot Wheel car out of 30 billion, no not THAT red one, a DIFFERENT red one, no, not THAT one, the RED one, the OTHER red one, I need the RED ONE, not THAT red one, mommy, where’s my RED CAR?”….then I’m approximately 30,000 years old.
lol me too!
Turns out I am only 75… not too bad fora 32 year old!
Mazzy does the ninja staring thing all the time, but it isn’t nearly as scary as the thing she did two nights ago. My husband says I’m not allowed to talk about it on the blog, but I’ll give you hint:
It aged me 14 years.
I’m 62 without the lovey, with it I’m closer to 260. Although, I’ll be adding 8 years in September with my daughter’s first vacation across the country, two flights with one layover each.
96.5 (my mom lives a 1/2 hour away so I split that). But I feel like if we counted dealing with the father of my child who is a 100% dbag I’d be 8 times this old.
Other than that, I feel great!
So, I’m only right around 50. I don’t know… the lost lovely thing kind of threw me as I’ve honestly lost count how many times that’s happened. So, maybe more like 60 or 75? But I also only have one child… who slept through the night at 5 weeks.
And I didn’t add 50 at the end because I thought that list was pretty comprehensive. And complicated. Math hurts my brain.
OMG I’m 254?! The labor part really aged me! I was 144 starting there.
Too funny! Once I was almost aged 14 years, as said to my husband ” don’t bother locking the door baby … the kids are both asleep and they NEVER wake up at this time”. Two minutes ( after we had finished … not two minutes later! We aren’t THAT old lol), our door opens, and suddenly I am faced with questions such as ” Hey Mommy! I didn’t know you sleep with no top on! Why do you have no top on?”. Oh well. Still better than the questions that COULD have been 😉
148, but that’s only because I got a 90 for hours away from grandma’s house. We are stationed in Southern Turkey, currently.
I got to 116, and stopped, because if I have to figure out how many times I have to frantically search for ANYTHING including a lovie, I’m going to be 1000 yrs old.
my labor etc wasn’t bad and I always have 2 children doing everything at the same time…I think I should get points for that. 😉
218. But I’ve heard that 218 is the new 30, so.. 🙂
Okay. 247. I feel every year of it. The hours to grandma’s really pushed me over. Entertaining, as always. And, because of that, I gave you an award from my rookie little blog. Check it out at http://crapnoonetellsyou.blogspot.com/2013/02/parent-bloggerswe-are-cult-and.html
Another frikkin’ competition?!!! How does rectal prolapse figure on your list? What do I get for solving it myself when it happened to my three year old in the middle of the night? No grandparents here to help out either. All you amateurs with your first world problems need to get a life and stop moaning about how desperate you are for acknowledgement.
Woah, Charlene! Take it down a notch.
Well, it wasn’t actually a competition. But you win, regardless.
If you think she’s mad now, wait until she finds out there’s not actually a ribbon and a plate of cookies in her future.
143 here! Feeling it today since my 19 month old daughter was kicking me in the back and face all night long. Thank God my 2 month old sleeps through the night (for now!)
I am 288 years Mom.
Damn, I look GOOD.
It gets better eventually! My mommy age is younger than I actually am…of course my only child is an adult now.
I’m only 57 in mom years with 3 kids! 😀
I’m 236 years old, although since it takes 24 hours BY PLANE to get to my Mom, I’m pretty sure I’m actually 1 million years old!
Loved this!
Holy Hell…..I am 1217 years old in Mom Years!! Five kids and a long labor added time to my age!!
I couldn’t even calculate my age because I was laughing so hard. This is priceless. How about points for your child spitting up on another person’s face on a plane, or points for a toddler throwing a fit on a plane that resulted in the emergency booklet being thrown which knocked the glasses off of the guy next to us. Or times you’ve pumped your breast while in a supply closet with no lock on it. Or times you find your 5 year old grunting like Forest Gump because apparently you earned 14 points and had no idea. Lord I think I am like 5 million years old.
On the upside, you’re still able to fit in that +14 activity with two little kids.
Assuming you were awake when it happened.
(Shhhh.)
I was 49 in mom years…
Love it. Add in:
+1 for every week spent awaiting the finalization of an adoption after you’ve met and fallen in love with said child
+1 for every hour you spend in carpool with the kids in an average week
I’m a fine looking 148 years old! he hehe
Breastfeeding in a public bathroom really shot up my age. I am pretty sure I’m around a 1,000 years old.
This is great minus the breastfeeding in a public bathroom part. I’ve breastfeeding both of my children, but it was when and wherever they needed it. Feeding a child in a bathroom, whether by bottle, spoon or breast is disgusting. Otherwise, awesome post!
I definitely feel 250-something years old!! I definitely could have added a few years for the number of times my children have spilled orange juice into my shoes (seriously, the insides of my shoes are like an OJ magnet) and of course it happens always on airplane trips. And also, if we were adding years for the number of times you shaved only one leg due to sleep deprivation I’d be much older! 😉
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As Alyssa says- no lovie but cars- or in my case . . . TRAINS. And not including that because that would just be ridiculous . . .are we counting hours away from grandparents in driving or by plane? Plane- 146
driving- 344 then add 1000+ for train searches, how many times have you worn pee or poop and not cared and tantrums should be in there somewhere.
My mind just wandered into the worst possible gutter…. 🙂
I agree, I refuse to ever feed my child in a bathroom.
Of course there’s more that ages us as parents! So 133!
I am 108. I only have one child who still sleeps in a crib and goes to bed by 7pm.
And she does not have lovey. I know I am lucky.:)
I am 154 and I feel like it too! There so many other things that should be on this list.
113, but if you include looking for coils to cochlear implants ( about the size and color of a quarter, plus magnetic!) and trips to the ER, I must be pushing 900.
I was 76 until I got to that last question! haha
I’m 29 now, and FEEL like i’m 80. I’m on more vitamins than my mother. although, she doesn’t have to get up at 5am to get the kids up for the day (anymore) and doesn’t get up on weekends at all if she doesn’t want to. What the heck is a weekend anyway??
Well, uh…I’m 66 in real years and this shows me to be 64. But that’s only if I can deduct 15 points for EACH child old enough to take care of the rest. So! 64 it is! I’d better give back my Medicare and SS!!
Question…for airplane rides….when I travel it is 2 planes per way….so 4 each trip, so is it just counted for these points as one per trip or all because i have now travelled 7 times with my 2 1/2 year old since she was born…aaand both grandma’s live a 24 hr car ride away (5 by plane)…basically I have stoppes calculating. Haha
Holy cow! I am looking pretty darned good for 1,427. It would be the 7 weeks of contractions every 8 minutes while on strict hospital bed rest. That was fun. Though I can also say, there were only 3 or 4 things I have the pleasure of saying I couldn’t add on. Our kids are killing me slowly :). Great post! Thanks for the laugh, with hubby deployed, I needed it!
Love this quiz! The vacations without kids actually saved me. Don’t hate me. Ellen
I’m not feeling too bad for 182. Though that age should probably be for for the number of times I’ve searched for lost lovies. I think I am also older for:
– Pumping whilst driving to and from Uni at least once a week.
– Pumping in the back of a lecture hall trying to take notes on Philosophy 3010
– Moving house when 36 weeks pregnant
– Moving house (again) when bub was 6 months old and all 3 of us had the flu
– Moving house 2 more times with 2 kids under 4.
All those things definitely add more years
I came in a yr less than my actual age and 4 of those pts were because I have twins so 2 kids in diapers at the same time. I actually feel guilty about my score..
125, yet sometimes I feel 1,000+!
I’m 28 in regular years and much much more than 244 in mom years! (I couldn’t even imagine how old I’d be if I took the time to account for all the lovie searches which are still occurring almost every night!)
Ahh yes….the competetive one-upping of mothers pains. If anyone looked up the ACTUAL requirements for TRUE labor that the hospitals have to go by(medically and scientifically accurate), they would be discredited for their outrageous claims of their labouring hours! It slays me every time. I feel like printing it out to take with me at every baby shower.
I’m only 65 because I had to have a c-section and couldn’t breast feed. Although I did spend 48 hours in the hospital and I often go to the public washroom to bottle feed my babe to sleep. She’s always been a very vocal girl and I don’t feel comfortable with her screaming in public. Ladies room is fine. The bank is not.
Hey! I’m 106 just like Anna!!
Sharing this! Due to “mom brain”, I can’t even add high enough to determine what my age is 🙂
I beat you with 155! but then I have 3 kids to help:)
I am 164 in mom years and I am only 41, but if i add on for the things that have happened since i have become a grandma of three, i think it would be more like 264, at least, lol
191…yep, that’s about how I feel when I crawl out of bed each morning too. I would give just about anything to stay in bed without interruption until I wake up on my own and actually feel like getting up. I sometimes think my husband ages me just as much as my children do though. Need some questions on there about that too b/c I know I’m not the only mom that feels like that.
That’s cute I am 50 lol.
205 cuz my mother lives 33 hours away. without that its 106. although I think i earned the extra years for delivering without an epi or any other drugs and driving across the united states (coast to coast) alone with a 1-2 yr old and 2 dogs.
Heck I cant count that high I have 10(ten)boys youngest 4 and oldest 37 (4,20,21,22,23,24,34,35,36 and 37)… I should get extra points for that alone and I have had 4 under 5 the first time and 5 under 5 the second ….LOL
You daughters name is Mazzy? My daughter is named Mazzy as well! How do you pronounce it? Long A or short A? We pronounce it with short A like Mazzy star but she is not named after the band. How did you come up with Mazzy?
262 and lets not forget the potty training, cleaning the pee where ever it might be. oh god!.
My Mom Age based on this test is 29. On the other hand my son is a teenager,sometimes I really feel that I’m between 500 to a 1000 yrs old. Considering that he is a well behave kid.
Welp. I am 263. Which is kinda sad because I only have one baby and am really 20 in real life. Damn, I’m old.
What a relief. I did it wrong. I am only 140. 😉
Would have been older if I included the trip to grandma’s house (texas to cali) but that’s a 32 hour drive, so no thanks.
I am 310.
I am only 56. My son is only 3 months old though, so a lot of this I have yet to experience 😉
Ha! I must have it pretty easy with my only child because I’m only 16 in mom years! 30 in real life!
Oh man. I am already 211 with only one 5 month old and a plan to have at least two more kids. I guess five days of can’t-walk-can’t-talk contractions will do that to a woman.
I’m 29! But I feel 209. Oh well.
I must’ve done it wrong…..I’m 51539…LOL……. Or I’m the only one doing it right….if you really look at the way they are worded: e.g. FOR EACH child born after the age of 35 +1, I had 2 so technically that would be +2. FOR EVERY hour you’ve spent in labour +20, I spent (roughly in and out of consiousness) at least 72 hours in labour between the two kids, so that would be 72 x 20 = 1440. etc…
So I am 417… Not sure that works. 9 days of labor really messes with the numbers I guess…. I am like a mommy vampire.
Oh wait… +20 for every hour in labor…. That would make me roughly 4536…ummm. I guess we are back to mommy vampire
Yikes, that’s too many question for someone my age! I gave up when I got over 200!!
I’m 281 with my first who is only 4.5 months old!!! The traveling across country and visit to grandma’s place is what killed me! Guess I now have a valid reason for being so tired and Happy to be home!
956 on the conservative side. 3 months of active labor and a grandma living 3000 miles away will do it to you. Now if only we could count getting diabetes (gestational that didn’t go away), a medically necessary hysterectomy (8 months of bleeding), and crunchy pelvis problems (10lb 2oz linebacker in miniature with 14.5cm shoulder measurement). I almost beat Methuselah. Lol
Im 231. I think I have you beat somehow
I’m 220 and I so many of them didn’t apply. WOW!
Wow- I’m 1465 in mom years. 2yo quadruplets. I definitely look my age.