Due to Hurricane Sandy taking out our power and water, tonight is our second night staying at our friends' apartment on the Upper West Side.
As a houseguest in my pre-child days, I was always concerned that I wasn't doing enough around the house, that I brought a decent enough gift and that my tendency to over-do it on toilet paper usage was going unnoticed. After I got married, I often worried that my husband was making a large enough effort to be social, regardless of whether our hosts were "his" or "my" friends.
Now, I have no worries about my husband and me. Our likelihood of quickly outstaying our welcome rests solely on our two-year-old daughter.
Thankfully, our current hosts have a three-year-old son, Charlie, so they are well aware of the trials and tribulations that come along with having a small child. However, their small child, while he might have his own set of daytime issues, gets an A++ in "GOING TO BED". Mazzy, as I have detailed in the past, has failed BEDTIME repeatedly.
The plan was for the two of them to sleep in Charlie's room and generally follow Charlie's bedtime routine— his house, his rules. Mazzy is the guest, after all.
At 7:30pm, Charlie gets a half hour to wind down in his parents' bed while watching television, before brushing his teeth, and hitting the bathroom (Superboy is also fully potty trained). Then his parents indulge him in ONE bedtime book before they shut off the light and shut the door.
In comparison, Mazzy gets three bedtime books while sitting in the rocker, one bedtime book while lying in bed, a pile of books placed at her side to read in the dark, and the door left open with the hall light on. (I would also detail my numerous "check-ins" but it starts to get embarrassing.)
The first night I played along like Charlie's routine would work out just fine. We put the kids in the master bedroom to watch Toy Story 2 while the grown-ups convened in the dining area for a civilized dinner. Approximately fifteen minutes lates, Mazzy was running through the kitchen screaming with Charlie following right behind her. Back and forth, again and again, they went.
For Charlie, this extra activity just upped his exhaustion and added to the ease with which his parents would eventually put him to bed.
For Mazzy, this extra activity riled her up into a state where sleep became near impossible.
At 8pm, Charlie began the process of changing into his PJs, brushing his teeth and getting under the covers.
At 8pm, Mazzy started crying that she didn't want to go sleep, refused to brush her teeth and threw her PJs across the room.
After much consoling, Mazzy agreed to listen to a bedtime story read by Charlie's dad. I tucked her in (like a sausage instead of a burrito, just like Charlie), left the room and crossed my fingers. As I walked back into the living room, I avoided Mike's eyes, sure he was silently laughing at my optimism.
Then Charlie's dad appeared after finishing the story, turning out the light and shutting the door, foolishly thinking all parental duties would cease to exist for the rest of the evening.
I made a silent prayer to the Toddler Gods.
Well, this might come as a big surprise but let me be the first to tell you— TODDLER GODS DO NOT EXIST!
How do I know this?
Because two seconds later, Mazzy was screaming for water, more books, and the lights on.
I ran in and dutifiully brought her everything she demanded. It is one thing to ignore your child in the privacy of your own home, but when your host's child's sleep is threatened, you must do everything imaginable to nip the problem in the bud.
I returned to the living room and took a seat. Then I prayed to the Bedtime Gods.
What do you know— BEDTIME GODS DO NOT EXIST EITHER.
Completely unaware that she was jeaopardizing her access to electricity, running water and cable access, Mazzy tiptoed into the living room and said the three words every parent wishes they could erase from the English language— "I'M NOT TIRED."
What now?
I tried to convince Mazzy that sleeping in Charlie's room was like having a sleep over party. I told her that the sooner she went to bed, the sooner she would be able to get up and play with Charlie in the morning. I tried to make compromises with half open doors and cups of warm milk and additional bedtime stories.
All the while, disturbing poor Charlie's sleep.
In the end, what Mazzy really wanted was to go home. She said it repeatedly which became more and more heartbreaking. Reluctantly, I asked if she would rather sleep with me instead of Charlie and she said yes.
So, I took her into the guest room and lay down with her on the pull-out sofa. She told me again that she wanted to go home.
I reminded her that home doesn't have electricity or water and went through a list of everything that was not working at home but was working perfectly well at Charlie's house.
"Tell me again what's not working".
"The refrigerator, the microwave, the television, the shower, the heater, the iPad, the phone, the computer, the dishwasher…"
"The lights?"
"Yep, the lights aren't working."
"Tell me again."
"The refrigerator, the microwave, the television…"
And on and on until Mazzy finally fell asleep.
Thankfully, I was able to sneak out of bed without waking her, and rejoin the adults in the living room. But when it was finally time for us all to go to bed, we realized the pull-out couch was really only big enough for Mazzy and one other person.
So Charlie got to have a new sleepover buddy…
MIKE.
In case you can't tell, that's Mike in Charlie's room, giving me the finger. (I think he might still be pissed at the underwear shot from last week.)
Let's hope Charlie was sleeping and isn't going to start experimenting with his newly learned hand gesture tomorrow.
Then the Wiles family will, for sure, be looking for a new place to sleep.
The last shot is priceless.
Epic post! Glad you all are staying safe.
Hilarious and heartbreaking all at the same time! My husband has had tons of nights alone, or sleeping with our eldest child and never with me when we travel – from the getgo I realized me sleeping with my youngest ( and previously, my eldest when she was my only) would mean we all actually get some form of sleep! If it makes you feel better – she always readjusted fine to sleeping solo when home. She just like Mazzy wants HER home, HER bed, HER routine. I get it. So do I! And once the baby comes, I forsee a lot more nights for Mike in a makeshift floor bed ” this marital bed ain’t big enough for the four of us … uh Mike? You are first one voted off the island.” lol! 😉 P.S. Glad you are nice enough people to attract such aweome friends! 🙂
This post made me laugh and laugh.
Toddlers sure are something. Henry asks every night “tell me what we did today!” and we’ll list everything that happened in the day, down to very minute details and still he asks “what else?” – He’d let us go forever!
On a normal night, during my “check-ins”, Mazzy makes me go through all the people that she loves, all the things that we will do tomorrow and all the people who are sleeping (which is essentially the same as the people that she loves). Toddlers are weird.
One of your funniest posts ever.
Awesome post! I’d invite you guys to stay here if you get booted by your hosts…but, oh snap, we’re already 3 people in a 1BR apt with no pull-out couch. Good luck to you all! Poor Mike.
Hope Mazzy at least got some Upper West Side trick or treating in last night and you have some bite-sized candy to pilfer while she’s not looking.
That picture of Mike is hysterical. great post! but sorry you are going through all of that AND you are still really pregnant! (duh) I am amazed at how you have the energy for it all.
Glad to know you are safe, and the las t pic is awesome!
As one who has traveled and had to merge bedtime routines with other children, I SO get this.
Keep stressing “no lights, no TV, no iPad, no milk.”
Did the second night go any better than the first?
And um, hello, it’s not like you could sleep on the floor being 38 weeks pregnant. I’m sure if he to choose between Charlie’s room and being 38 weeks pregnant, he’d rethink the finger.
I’m still laughing by the way, because for once it is you, and not me.
I’m laughing so hard right now. I was going to start with some Tough Love advice (because spoiled toddlers stop being cute when they end up living in your spare room after they drop out of college for not being able to adjust to the-world-really-doesn’t-revolve-around-me culture shock), but then I remembered I’m always especially easy on my kid in times that are stressful for her. Then I was going to proceed to “Geez, that woman’s husband doesn’t help her at all” when I saw the last pic and just cracked up. So, I’ll just say you have a hilarious life, it’s a good thing you have the sense of humor to appreciate it. BTW, I now think your husband’s a saint.
Oh you are so incredibly kind and tolerant. Our oldest- not a fan of sleep. Fortunately the younger two are, which has made it easier for me to be, um, less kind and tolerant. I’m with you though- there is nothing, nothing like seeing how the other have lives (or sleeps) to make you crazy.
I am so amused by this and totally feel you on the toddler/pre-schooler behavior. At least you don’t have to worry about how Mike or you are doing, I guess that is a plus. I am sorry that bedtime is so rough for Mazzy. I would like to thank the ‘save mommy’s sanity’ gods, for hearing my one prayer for children who sleep relatively well. At least past the age of 18 months. Before then, they don’t sleep through the night. Seriously, my baby is still up at least 6 times a night. He is NINE months. I am really strict with bedtime and their routine (consists of nothing but me saying ok time to brush teeth, goodnight I love you and tucking in)
I was reading this at work and loudly laughed! Now I am embarrassed, that last shot is hilarious!
This is where blogging works against you. It makes it so you can’t say, “She never acts like this at home. It must be the disruption to her routine.”
So in other words, good times all around! I remember those days of trying to get your kids to abide by other people’s routines.
On the bright side, now would be a great time to start as you mean to go on once the new baby is here. You have a captive good example for bedtime right at your fingertips, and it gives you something to work towards.
Hard, I know, but you might also get her potty trained in the process if you play your cards right!
We’re in the “why???” Phase… Ugh
Awesome post! As a Florida resident living in an evacuation zone, I shudder at the thought of crashing someone’s house with our two-year-old. Glad you guys are safe and hope you make it back home soon!
That last picture literally made me LOL.
And I generally do not say “LOL.”
LOVE this post, especially the husband photo at the end. Sounds a lot like mine!
Oh my gosh, that last photo! BAWAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Ooooh poor Mazzy, you are going to have a rough year when that baby gets here!!! Be strong Mama!
The pic of Mike is comedy gold. I’m glad you’re all safe and in good company.
Your hubby seems A-OK with his sleeping arrangement…haha!!
Hope you are doing well.
Sorry that night time didn’t go as planned, or as hoped I should day. LOL on Mike’s reaction to having to sleep in the room with Lucas 🙂 I think it was the underwear shot that put the stake in the coffin 😉
Thankfully we still have hot water and gas even though we lost power. We spend our days at a friend’s house and sleeps at our home.
Since my two year old is scared of everything all thanks to Sandy, we co sleep in our bedroom. We in our bed and Ollie in her crib by foot of the bed.
I am really scared of retraining her for bed time routine in her crib in HER room. She already doesn’t want to sleep in her room.Sigh…
What do you mean there are no Bedtime Gods?!?!?! I feel like you just told me there was no tooth fairy. I just don’t know what to believe in anymore!
You guys were great house guests. It’s so quiet here without you!
The last picture is amazing. I laughed so hard. Thanks for that.