Seemingly overnight (or maybe it was over dinner), my belly has doubled in size. I’m 35 weeks today which means I will be 38 weeks on October 31st.
Where does that leave me, exactly?
Well, if I was prone to baring my belly and I lived in a temperate climate, I could be one of those pregnant women who paints her basketball-proportioned baby bump like an actual basketball. Or a watermelon. Or a jack-o-lantern. Or Epcot Center. Or pretty much anything else in the shape of a sphere (see the lovely ladies up top).
But if you are not into the painted-belly thing, there are tons of other options as well. Like white trash cross-dressing with your partner…
Or making your current child feel totally inferior to the real prize on the way…
Or SNOOPY!!!!
You can also use your costume to make an important breastfeeding statement…
I’m not sure what the statement is exactly, but I KNOW it’s better than this one…
It’s not clear whether the above is an awesome Halloween costume or just a really unfortunate looking pregnancy belly. I really hope it’s the former.
If you’d prefer a cuter, more conservative costume, try dressing as the solar system…
But good luck keeping your arms extended while trying to inhale a handful of candy corn.
If you need to make a last-minute costume, I suggest the stranded-on-a-dessert-island-with-only-a-white t-shirt-and-a-set-of-markers route…
Look— it’s Wilson!
Personally, I’m a big fan of literal costumes, so why don’t you use this opportunity to express your love for tomato sauce?
Or your fondness for baking…
I love how the couple above thinks they need to be super explicit about the meaning of their costume. If they are that worried about misinterpretation, instead of “the bun baker”, they could have writtten, “I stuck my penis in her and as a result, we made a baby!”
Another way to highlight your sexual antics is with the costume below. This says, “Not only will I have sex with anyone, but I’ll do it in the printer aisle of a Staples!”
On the opposite side of the “easy” spectrum, we’ve got the super wholesome, family-friendly egg sandwich…
As opposed to the bright lights of a single disco ball, screaming “I can’t wait until my baby is old enough to go clubbing with me!”
If you’d like your pregnant belly to masquerade as a d-list celebrity, I suggest stealing this brilliant Octomom costume. The babies are so lifelike!
Oh, wait— that IS Octomom. Never mind.
Jessica Simpson’s mummy costume (get it????) was uncharacteristically brilliant…
I’m guessing, she didn’t come up with it herself.
And don’t forget the go-to costume for pregnant hipsters everywhere— JUNO.
This costume works best if you actually get Michael Cera to tag along with you. Otherwise, you just look like a disheveled person who forgot you were leaving your house.
But my favorite pregnant costume BY FAR, and the most suitable for the holiday is a little something one woman whipped up called “Labor Pains”…
Yep. Not exactly something I needed to see 5 weeks before giving birth.
Is it too early to start eating Halloween candy???
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Images found on Pregnant Chicken, The Krifts, Mama Said We Could Draw, Coolest Homemade Costumes, Tired of Being Pregnant, We’re Parents NJ, Lovelyish, This Next, Glamour Vanity, Costume Pop, Oddee and Parents.com.
Thanks for the nightmares with that last one!
Oh my! The ideas ppl come up with and then must post online…so seriously, what will you be dressing up as? I haven’t dressed up in years!
All I know is that at 38 weeks I had no desire to put anything on except pajama pants. So my costume would be “Pregnant Lady in Pajama Pants and Old Sorority T-Shirt.”
I have a cow costume, works great. Has the udders. Perfect to cover the belly, then when my daughter was 6 months, we dressed her as a cow, calling her veal since she wasn’t walking yet. My hubby went inappropriately as the farmer.
These are seriously hilarious. And I really can’t get over Ms. Easy. I died laughing at your Staples line.
My hubby is a former make up special effects guy, and we’re trying to make my bump into “Kuato” from Total Recall…except a cuter version.
Honey, it’s not to start eating next year’s Halloween candy.
My mom’s coworker did Mr. Potato Head last year. It was adorable.
I actually thought the last one was a jab at Twilight Breaking Dawn haha
I spat out my tea at the last one. Words fail me.
I was 34 weeks pregnant on Halloween and ended up painting a basketball onto a white t-shirt and sticking a nerf ball net in the collar to indicate a slam dunk. Hubs half-assed dressed the part of the basketball player by throwing on a pair of gym pants and a Syracuse shirt. Nothing spectacular but cute, fun, and easy peasy!
Love the watermelon belly costume! I was addicted to watermelon, when I was pregnant. I would fill a wagon full of them on Halloween and just eat as I walked. Replace the shell every now and then, as needed.
I’ve considered having more and more kids in the hopes for once I’ll finally get the timing right – be perfectly pregnant at Halloween (not just is-she-fat-or-is-she-preggo, and not 9.5-months-and-my-cankles-are-as-big-as-my-waist) – so I could rock a fun costume like one of these. But then I remember what kids are and I change my mind.
I like the disco ball. And the beer belly was pretty simple. And simple is good. Have you thought about being a gumball machine? Clear plastic bag with mini-balloons is on the easy side. Oh! Oh! or Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, then Mazzy can be the Cheshire Cat. Make your husband wear a preggo suit, too. Time he carried around some weight.
I call bullshit on the “bun in the oven” costume. I peed like 90 times a day when I was pregnant! I guarantee she snapped 3 pictures and had to take it off to go to the bathroom.
Or you could also try an animal onesie, that will surely cover up some of the baby bump. But your ideas are also really great. Thank you for sharing them, we all know how difficult it is to blend in when you’re pregnant.
I took that picture of the cat and the fishbowl!! That’s my friend Kristy and it was the best prego costume ever! Thanks for sharing. 😉
Lol I’ve done the last one and actually had people cross the street to get away from me 😉 I’m trying to get my pregnant friend to borrow it for this Halloween .
[…] Bun In The Oven- Mommy Shorts. Here’s a twist on the old classic “a bun in the oven” and great one if you want to do a couple’s costume! […]