The photo above was submitted by The Unglamorous Mommy after a trip to the petting zoo. That's her daughter Anna standing behind a goat that appears to be seriously questioning his career path.
I hear ya, goat. Living in a small pen with a pig and a llama battling it out for food pellets from five-year-olds can't be the life of which goat dreams are made. Unglamorous, indeed.
What exactly is Anna's new four-legged friend thinking? Besides— get your hand away from my ass and your camera out of my face? You tell me in the comment section below.
This week's caption contest will be judged by the current Caption Contest Queen— Natasha (@hellonatashao). Winner will be crowned Friday along with the winner of the Petunia Pickle Bottom Bag Giveaway and the winner of the "Unsolicited Parenting Advice" competition.
The new Queen gets the supreme honor of judging the next caption contest. Yet another opportunity that will bypass Monsieur Goat. I feel sadder for him by the second.
Good luck!
I should have listened to my dad and became an accountant.
If you think I’m not having any fun, you should talk to the kid I’m sitting on.
“Hey kid, as long as you’re down there, how’s about you take a peek up my ass and see if you can locate my dignity?”
She didn’t even buy me dinner.
What is a cute girl like her doing near my nether region?
Slender forearms make for effortless goat insemination. Next step: Purel up to your earholes.
And you thought baby farts smelled bad? Poor girl doesn’t even know what’s coming!
I could have been on Broadway.
On the bright side, now I can cancel my proctologist appointment.
If this chick tells me to “cough” one more time, I’m gonna go ape sh!*.
God, my life sucks….. or don’t make me headbutt that camera into your sinus cavity. (this from personal experience raising goats LOL)
mom needs a spa day.
don’t make me get all “billy goat gruff” on your ass kid! and you too, with the camera!
Well, come along! I’ve got two spears,
And I’ll poke your eyeballs out at your ears;
I’ve got besides two curling-stones,
And I’ll crush you to bits, body and bones.
That was what the big billy goat said. And then he flew at the troll, and poked his eyes out with his horns, and crushed him to bits, body and bones, and tossed him out into the cascade, and after that he went up to the hillside. There the billy goats got so fat they were scarcely able to walk home again.
I keep farting, but this little twirp just won’t go away!
I’m five seconds away from going Goatzilla on you kid. Step away slowly and no one gets hurt.
My mother said that only the vet should touch me there!
1) Oh, what fresh hell is this?
2) A little to the left, oh yah, that’s the spot.
3) Don’t clench, don’t clench, don’t clench…
Falcor’s early 80’s success was sadly cut short by a cocaine habit. He now resides at a petting zoo where he makes money to support his habit.
Little Mary’s preschool class prepares to reenact the Taun-Taun gutting scene from Empire Strikes Back. “and you thought they smelled bad on the outside.”
“Can someone get this kid’s arm out of my a**?”
Mommy, I lost my pacifier!
Oh I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking something when I read this! 😉
Yes I am a goat, Yes I am lazy – Just call me “Billy Idol”
sorry kid all out of malt balls!
Alright, FINE. I should have never tried that thing I saw at Larry’s bachelor party last week. Can you just stop gloating and get the Corona bottle out of there already?!
I found your watch daddy!
NARRATOR: Later in life Anna would have the last laugh when she and her donkey Jo-Jo, would become the most renound ventrilequism act in all the world.
Is it just me, or is Michelle Williams trying to get me to turn and cough in broad daylight? Cuz if so, I gotta say bitch is WAY shorter in real life.
Aberforth said there would be repercussions if I drank all the firewhiskey…
“I’ve spent years growing my “goatee” and then some thrill seeker just came and shaved my side? I am SO pooping on this bench.”
“I’ve spent years growing this “goatee,” and now some little thrill “seeker” comes and shaves me? On my side? I am so pooping through these bench slats.”
Accidentally hit “post” on this one – the next one is my REAL entry. 🙂
Fucking “kids”. No matter where I go I can’t get away from them!
or
“That’s it! I’m going to Moe’s” ( a la the Simpsons or however I need to reference things so I dont get sued, though how cool would it be if Matt G. read your blog?)
Mommy! Mommy!! I found chocolate!!!
After the successful test strip from the flank, the aesthetician-in-training prepared herself for the hardest goddamned Brazilian wax ever in the history of hair.
Mommy – I know how to do a colon poops a pee! I saw it on my compooter.
Ma, tell me again why I had to give up my seat to a damn farm animal??? This is such bull&*%#! Get outta the way flea bag, I haven’t had my nap yet and I will so go ghetto on your ass. By the way, that patch of fur you’re missing…was that from the last toddler you snatched a seat from?
cough
I will abstain from submitting a comment since it’s my daughter who apparently has a thing for goat ass. The captions are hilarious!!!
“Are you done yet?”
Human, my cheese is flavored with the bitter taste of crayons and regret. You have been warned.
I will slowly close my eyes and pretend she is not there. I finally got my ass up on this bench, losing a patch of hair in the process, and I will be damned if she thinks I am gonna give it up. Go back to your comfy stroller and leave me alone…unless you’re gonna feed me.
She could’ve at least offered to buy me dinner first…
LOL
“But Mama! This goat ate my baby doll and I want it back NOW!”