Two weeks ago, I held a giveaway for a VersaVac (that's a vacuum and steamer in one, for those of you who haven't browsed the Oreck Product Catalogue recently) and asked everyone to tell me their kids' messiest moment for a chance to win.
The winner (selected at random) is a mom with a two-year-old who has a fondness for hurling plates of food across the room. Congratulations DL!
But DL's not the only person going home with a prize…
Since there were so many horrific clean-up disasters (corn starch, glitter, diaper cream, oh my…), I asked Oreck if they would be willing to give away a SECOND VERSAVAC to the parent who had to deal with the biggest mess.
Oreck, in an AWESOMELY FABULOUS move, said YES!
SO. Today, we are having a comment competition, pitting my ten favorite giveaway entries against eachother, to determine who else gets to take home a brand-new-super-sleek $250 vacuuming/steaming wonder appliance, otherwise known as the VersaVac (pictured left).
WARNING: Selecting the best comments was tough, since there is one mess that's clearly heads and shoulders above the rest. It's a little like taking LeBron James and sticking him on a preschool basketball team. You'll see.
Your top ten contenders for "Biggest Cleaning Disaster Created By Kids" are…
1. Sheila Marie
I was awakened late one night by my son's crying. When I entered his room, he told me he had thrown up. In my sleepy state, I figured he threw up over the side of the bed, onto the floor below. But when I pulled the quilt off the bed, I heard what sounded like rain hitting the carpet. It was only then that I realized he had actually thrown up "in" his bed and what was originally on the floor would have been the least of my worries, had I not slung vomit ALL OVER HIS ROOM myself.
My two-year-old discovered that when I put her in time out, she could just get up and walk away. So I put up a baby gate to keep her confined to her bedroom. In true-to-form terrible two-ness, she began hurling herself against the baby gate which eventually popped free of its doorway. Child and gate crashed directly into a plant stand full of recently watered potted plants, which consequently, crashed all over the white carpet. It was an impressive 10-foot spread of leaves, dirt, mud, and broken pottery. My daughter looked up at me from the floor and said, "I go in time out now," then proceeded meekly back into her room.
My son decided to dump a whole bin of scoopable kitty litter onto our carpet and then pour a gallon of milk followed by a gallon of tea on it. Then he spread butter on the windows, carpet, TV, and our cat. All in the middle of the night, while everyone else was sleeping.
When my daughter was 11 months-old, I left her in the living room watching TV so I could use the bathroom in peace. I had forgotten about the recent addition of a candy bowl to the side table, but apparently she hadn't. I came out of the shower to a room covered in Hershey chocolate and foil. It was everywhere – ground into the carpet, rubbed into the couch, finger painted on the wall, and drooled down her front. The next day during a diaper change, I had the pleasure of discovering that in addition to the chocolate, she had eaten the foil as well. Super!
My dear sweet adorable two-year-old decided it would be fun to spread my entire 1000 sq. foot upstairs with baby powder. Ever try cleaning that stuff up? I tried sweeping and mopping (since the whole upstairs is wood flooring), but interestingly enough, baby powder just floats in the air if you sweep, and when you mop, it gets wet, turns into a paste, and eventually dries back into a powder… I must have mopped 3 times! The second time he did it (yes, he did it twice), I knew to use the vacuum. Still took two hours on my knees.
6. Angie B
My son was in the process of potty training and insisted on sleeping in the nude. In the middle of the night, he gets up, goes to his bedroom door, poops on the floor, and then calls me into the room. I come in and push the door open— right over the poop, giving it a good smear into the carpet. Then my son runs to me, straight through the poop and continues to run circles around his bedroom with poop-covered toes.
7. Heather D
Anyone else know how many styrofoam "beans" are in a kid-size beanbag? We do! 9 million, 444 thousand, 8 hundred and 2 (approximately). Those things have the world's strongest static electrical charge, as well as the ability to scatter across an entire kitchen at the mere sight of a vacuum.
8. Mariah Anger
I awoke one sleepy Sunday morning and was greeted by the following scene in my fully carpeted apartment: baby gate to the kitchen knocked over, nearly every pot and pan thrown about the living room, the fridge standing wide open, 18 eggs scattered and shattered across the apartment, a 16 oz bag of shredded cheese sprinkled around the dining room table, 3/4 gallon of milk on it's side in the middle of the kitchen, 1 gallon of orange juice dumped out in the guest bathroom, my entire bottle of coffee creamer dumped out in the hallway [I cried at this point], and at least 6 lbs of dry dog food piled into the dog dish. I now have my alarm set to wake me at 6am instead of 7am on the weekends and I think I need to spring for a fridge lock, just in case.
9. Lisa R
My boys decided to make an apple pie… in my fireplace. They tossed in, one by one, a dozen raw eggs, an entire 5lb bag of flour, 6 bottles of water, and a whole bag of sugar. Then, of course, about a dozen apples were thrown on top.
10. Kathleen R
My two girls used my very expensive professional art set to paint our brand new carpet, each other, and the dog. Then, upon seeing this was a major error in judgement, they got the soft scrub (liquidy paste) AND the comet (powder) AND the toilet bowl cleaner (permanent blue dye) and tried to clean everything up, including themselves and the dog. The poor dog almost died from the combination, the carpet was nearly trashed and I literally had to bathe everyone in PAINT STRIPPER (as recommended by the poison control hotline) to get it all off. After I got the girls cleaned and started to work on the dog, one of the little darlings put a bottle of super glue in her pocket that EXPLODED but was too afraid to get in more trouble and tell me. I finally turn around after the dog is mostly clean and see one daughter is trying to help the other get her pants off, which are now super-glued through the fabric TO HER SKIN! So I call the poison control center AGAIN, praying they don't recognize my voice from the last call and report me to social services. They tell me to "massage her skin with olive oil" until it comes free. So I stand her butt in the shower and make her sister/partner-in-crime sit on the side of the tub and help me. As we are massaging the super glue off, the "texture" of the slimy oil in combination with the nerves from being in such massive trouble must have been too much for my daughter to handle because she PROJECTILE VOMITS all over the tub, the wall, the floor, herself, her sister's super-glued, olive-oiled, half-pants on/half-pants off body….and also…you guessed it…my shoulder and back! This is about the time my husband comes home, sees the ravaged dog lying in his bed, hears all of our screaming and opens the bathroom door. That bastard just turned white, immediately shut it and walked away! I took a deep breath, turned the shower on, and washed as much vomit down the drain as possible. Then I put all three of us in the shower to clean up. Afterward, I spent HOURS scouring the bathroom and carpet. When I was finished, I poured myself a gin and tonic, grabbed my pillow and locked myself in the guest bedroom for the night… I had no interest in seeing ANY of THOSE people that night and just prayed the house would still be standing when I woke up.
Time to vote! Winner will be announced Monday October 22nd.