When you have a kid, there are two ways to dress them on Halloween. Let them be what they want to be or make them go as what YOU want them to be. And if you’ve got a toddler that you’ve always wanted to put on a leash, what better way to take advantage of October 31st than by encumbering him or her with a riduculously hard to maneuver costume?
Take our friend Hannibal above. That kid can’t run, move his arms or even eat candy. Is that a Halloween costume or a clever punishment enacted by parents who really needed a break?
Below are 14 other kids in costume that make me wonder if their parents had other motives besides giving them a kickass Halloween.
I’m not even sure her parents are going to let her back in the house when she is done trick or treating. “Sorry, sweetie, your costume won’t fit in the door. Guess you’re sleeping in the yard tonight!”
Nothing renders a child immobile like stuffing a onesie with copious amounts of padding. Especially during a run-in with the ocean.
If she complains about her costume, her parents can just close the freezer. She doesn’t even have access to her arms to open it back up.
I don’t know if this poor boy’s parents were kind enough to poke holes, but either way— what better way to drown out a kid prone to incessant screaming than to stick his head in a jar?
OSCAR THE GROUCH
Looks like Oscar’s parents dressed him up, left him outside on the curb with the rest of the trash and then went out to dinner.
“Stand still, honey. I just need to test out your costume to make sure the mallet head doesn’t fall off on impact.”
I just hope Abe’s parents didn’t sacrifice half of his face for his costume. Also, they are totally laughing at him on the other side of that coin.
PACK OF CHARMIN
This toddler must have done something pretty awful to seal her fate. Let’s just hope her parents didn’t toss her into a crowded public restroom. She would never make it out alive.
Yes, this costume is AWESOME. But those scissors are heavy, that neck belt is tight, the outfit takes five hours to unbuckle and Edward was just recently potty trained.
The best way to contain a crawler is by trapping her inside a basket and using several gourmet food items to weigh her down.
This one is literally a leash. And possibly a method of electric shock therapy.
Not only is this kid confined to the couch, but his parents have a pot of water boiling in the kitchen, in case their little lobster needs a permanent TIME OUT.
And now for two outfits that might not prevent your child from moving, but are punishment all the same.
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE & PEDRO
These two kids have absolutely no idea they are dressed as the two biggest losers to ever grace American cinema.
The big kid might be fooled but the little kid knows what’s up. Their parents half-assed their costumes and are sending them out in public to be ridiculed by their friends. I mean— the older kid’s costume involves what looks like a VHS tape. The only thing worse than going as a super lame cardboard robot, is going as one with outdated technology.