If you think your toddler learning to talk is ripe for comedy, just wait until they learn to write. Apparently, that's when the real hilarity takes place.

Your child mistakenly saying the word "COCKS" instead of "CROCS" is funny, but it's nothing like an elementary school kid sending a letter to the navy congratulating them on their excellence in giving blow jobs…


Or how about the school essay on carrot-loving (w)hores?


Then there's Annisa. I hope her parents didn't default twice on their tooth fairy payments— girl's got bills to pay.


If you are going to runaway, make sure you have an ironclad reason. Like this kid: 


And there's nothing like birthday wishes coupled with Satanic messaging:


Personally, I agree with Ginny's letter. Valentine's Day just doesn't cut it.


And finally, we've got one that's short, sweet and fill-in-the-blank.


I'm sure she meant, "I love how you Croc," right?


On Friday, I'm having a competition for the worst baby name suggested by a significant other. If you'd like your spouse's idiocy to be considered, leave a comment under "Do These Jeans Make Me Look Pregnant?" or on the wall of the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage.