Mazzy has a new phrase. Can you guess what it is? And she didn't even have the courtesy to let me catch it on video like the kid below.
So far she has just been repeating it whenever I say it. Which I have found out, is quite often.
Realize my keys are still inside the apartment the second after I shut my self-locking front door? OH SHIT. Accidently put my two favorite bras in the same load of laundry? OH SHIT. Remember Mazzy has a 3pm pediatrician appointment at 3:15? OH SHIT.
Say "OH SHIT" one too many times and have it repeated back to me by my 1 1/2 year old daughter? Yeah. That.
(oh shit.)
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What's the first thing your child repeated that made you realize you have to watch your language?
I should probably start watching my mouth around the little ones! 😉
My husband and I heard our 3-year-old say, “Oh shit!” when a toy bin spilled this morning. Other things she’s said recently?
“Jesus CHRIST!”
“You’re such a dick.” (My fave. Ugh.)
and, “You suck!”
Mother of the year, right here.
If you are ever interested in getting a letter home from the religious preschool your child attends, just have them say “God damnit” a couple of times. Works like a charm. I should know.
My almost 3 year old’s favorite is damn it. She gets mad over something, she’ll sigh, then say “Ugh, damn it!”. It’s too cute to correct her too much yet.
The older boys used to say f*ck a lot. Like, a lot. With how much I say it, though, I’m surprised they never said it even more. Luckily, they’ve both outgrown that particular word. For now. I’m sure I’ll hear it again in about 5 years when the teens hit.
I was childless for 31 years. So not used to watching my language. I made some big language mistakes with my nephews this summer, and I appreciate them acting as guinea pigs.
That said, I’m pretty sure my kid will know how to use cuss words in the correct context before he’s two.
I was in a mad rush (as usual) and one of our barstools fell over on my foot. “FUCK” came out and it was immediately repeated like 25 times as if it was a broken record… “fuck! fuck! fuck!” Horrified, I just left her with Daddy and went to work. But Daddy is worse than I am so I’ll just blame him if it sticks.
Yeah, we really have to start watching ourselves. It’s so hard though. But my two year old really is repeating EVERYTHING we say so…I guess I’m *shit* outta luck.
3 year old Jack’s favorite phrase is “What the hell?!” Oops!
Bad mom alert – my youngest said “oh f*#k, to which my 7 year old screamed in a loud voice “E said f*#k”, but in my defense…..f*#k it, I have no defense, I’m a potty mouth. I think we’ve retrained her to “oh fooey”, until the next time!
My eldest daughter (at 3) went through a – thankfully brief – phase of mumbling “Youfuckinidiot” whenever riding on those coin-operated cars at the local shopping centre. Nice.
It sounded so wrong coming out of her mouth, but was such a dead on impersonation of how my husband says it (when driving) that it was hard not to laugh.
Ha, I can’t remember exactly, but I remember the Bird once asking me “why Daddy call that guy in car a dooz-bag”.
I didn’t bother to correct her.
My husband and I keep reminding ourselves to not say fuck, shit, damn or worse, c*nt (I can’t even type it out here, it’s that bad). The worse if when we’re driving, and we have conversations, bitching about people or cursing other drivers on the road, all the while, Monkey is sitting at the back, probably absorbing everything and waiting for the right moment to say it back to us.
So far, he hasn’t repeated any bad words. Phew.
Oh shit sounds awfully cute when a toddler says it though. Hee!
“mommy said ‘ship’. as in ‘i see a ship!'”
ugh. that can only cover your ass so many times though.
oh that is priceless!
What about when they TRY to pronounce words correctly, and they come out sounding naughty? My niece used to count to 5 “one…tooo…treee….fooooor…. fuck”
And of course, Rebecca’s attempts at the noise a duck makes is basically “cock cock” (or “caulk caulk”, depending on how you want to look at it!)
I have a habit of saying “Fuck a duck running”. When my daughter was 2, my mom & I were going shopping. We were in the car & I forgot something & out came my fav. phrase. 2 secs later I heard it repeated from the backseat!! LOL
There’s nothing quite like your three-year-old daughter calling you a dick!
It’s also hilarious that she is using “oh shit” correctly. Kids are so fucking smart.
If you ever want that letter published anonymously online, you know where to send it.
“Damn it” sounds like the initiation curse. Then at five, they move on to fuck and by eight, it’s motherfucker this and cocksucking bitch that.
It’s always best to get the cursing out with other people’s children. Your sister/brother must love you.
I have yet to utter a “fuck” around Mazzy. Must be because I get it out of my system on Mommy Shorts.
I’m sorry but that’s adorable.
We were at the beach this weekend and every time a wave hit, Mazzy would go— WOOOOOOOOOO.
I asked my husband— What’s she doing?
And he says— don’t you listen to yourself? You’ve been saying WOOOOOOOOO every time a wave hits for the past half hour.
Yes. I’ve been trying to convert my “shit” to “shoot”. Never quite happens in the moment though.
Oh my, that’s funny. That’s like “write that shit into an episode of Modern Family” funny. Great Lily storyline, no?
You should have said— BECAUSE HE WAS A FUCKING DOOZ-BAG!!!
You just wait— Monkey is gonna bust out with a string of profanity all at once. Drive safely!
Good tip. And whenever I’m pissed I call out for my friend the “DUCK” to help me out.
Mazzy pronounces “fork” just like “fuck”. And “peach” sounds like “bitch”. But we let those go.
You should put that on her preschool application. She sounds brilliant!
When my daughter was first learning to speak, we lived on the 7th grade boys’ hallway in a school dormitory (I am a boarding school teacher). We realized that she was actually listening to the music they were playing when we were driving in the car and we hear from the back seat the song, “I’m just sitting here wasting time, drinkin’, smokin’, trying to free my mind!”
My daughter’s was “Holy Shit!” We were watching a Cleveland Browns game and of course they screwed up a field goal at the last minute and lost the game. So I yelled it and Paige turned around and repeated it. She was 3. I was mortified!
In my case, it’s more when I slip and let Aura listen to too much of the music she shouldn’t be listening to in the car. I’m pretty sure my “SEX is another way of saying the number SIX!” is going to disintegrate by kindergarten. Or at least by the time Calculus 101 rolls around.
Why, thank you! I consoled myself with the fact that at least she was using it in the correct context. Actually, just a few weeks ago (she’s now almost 5) when were stopped a red light, she was trying to view something and a car pulled up next to us – resulting in her sighing and saying, “Fucking MOVE!” Again, just like Daddy…
My first word was “Shit.” Apparently I was in the back seat and somebody did something in traffic and my mom was all “Shit.” So then I kept repeating it. When my grandmother came over my mother told her she “had no idea” where I got it from.
“Bullshit you don’t,” my grandmother said. “She got it from you. Or me. Or from both of us. Let’s not tell his father.”
And then they smoked a bunch of cigarettes and ate some fruitcake or something. Grandma was big into bringing over fruitcake.
“Oh Jesus!” is a regularly occuring phrase in our house. Every time I make a loud noise or drop something… “Oh Jesus!” comes out of my sons mouth – directed at me. It probably doesnt help that I laugh every time…
I’m waiting for this day. I say, “Oh, shit” all the time. I said it just this morning in the car, actually. Can’t even remember why. It just pops out. It’s my go-to phrase for all things bad/stressful/frustrating/forgetful. Oh, and also ‘fucktard’ – my name for all idiot drivers. I’m just waiting for that one to pop out of my little angel’s mouth as well.
As it is, the first thing she repeated from me was “Hi.” Pretty boring except for the way she said it – all sweet and syrupy and southern-like. “Haaahhhiii.” She got the inflection down just right.
My almost two year old moaned, “This suuuccckkkks,” while trapped in her carseat. Whoops. I have no doubt we’ll get an “Oh shit,” any day now.
Fortunately, we haven’t had that happen yet with our daughter, although she has begun the parroting stage, so it is only a matter of time. A friend of mine’s sister had the best response I’ve heard to her son’s swearing. She just looked at him condescendingly and said, “You’re not even saying it right, it’s shoot.”
This post (and the true confessions going on in the comments)?
Cracking. Me. The. Fuck. Up.
(but I would never say that out loud. much.)
This is hilarious.
I now know I say “Jesus child” and “pissing me off” a lot. My now 6 year old daughter taught me that. Here’s how:
1- she kicked our cat when she was 3 & when I caught her and asked her why she did it her reply was “because he’s really pissing me off!” Well damn. How do you respond to that logic? I picked “well, just stop will ya?” and my smart ass daughter mouthed back “so only you can kick him when he’s pissing me off?”
2- same daughter, this time at 4. we were in a very crowded line at the store and she was asking me for the 10,000th time if she could have this or that…finally I just looked at her andshe said, in a very matter of fact voice, “I know, I know, Jesus child!”. I wanted to beat my head in!
My son followed me down the “shit” road before he turned two, and my loving husband accidentally taught him the mother of all swear words, which he stored up until we were at the park. At which time he used absolutely correctly and clear as a bell, much to my horror. Check out the full story here:
http://motherhoodisbeautiful.com/?p=535
just wait until they are eight and point at you and yell, “LANGUAGE! LANGUAGE Mom. Please!” LOL!
The ‘f’ word totally.. now if I say anything that sounds anything like a bad word, he screeches “bad word mommy!” at me
I remember being 7 and watching Back to the Future II, and I heard Marty McFly say “holy shit!” I decided to say it to my mum when she came into the room. Needless to say, she wasn’t too pleased.