Did you know that some people have children that welcome sleep and take naps voluntarily? (Sounds magical.)
The photo below is from Alicia of Naps Happen.
Alicia says that she stepped inside for a minute and when she returned, she found her two-year-old Cormac taking a snooze behind a potted plant and some lawn chairs.
She's also got photos of him napping at the dinner table, on the stairs, and across an over-turned crate on a screened-in porch. Direct quote: "Naps happen fast in our neck of the woods."
I'm more inclined to believe that Alicia's got a Children's Ambien lab hidden in her basement.
Anybody heard from Cormac lately?
Give your best guess as to what is going on in this picture in the comment section below. Captions will be judged by the current Caption Contest Queen King— Craig (@kevinblah). If you are a returning caption contest commenter, you may be familiar with Craig's work. He likes his captions dark and deeply offensive. He advises you all to go big or go home.
The winner will be crowned on Sunday in an especially offensive caption contest ceremony hosted by Norm McDonald and Sarah Silverman. The new Queen gets the supreme honor of judging the next caption contest as well as ten tablets of whatever it is Alicia is cooking in her basement.
Note: Alicia accepts "guest nappers" so if you have a funny "napping" picture, submit it to Naps Happen for a possible feature.
OMG, that kid is ASLEEP! Can she come over and nap-whisper to my kid?! Really, she can email me directly her nap-tastic crazy-lady nap-inducing pricing.
Really.
That was the last time the kids used the steel chairs when wrestling…
Samuel L. Jackson came over and told the kid to Go The F*ck To Sleep and everyone knows that you should do what Samuel L. Jackson says.
Exhausted from scrubbing the deck, Cormac dreamed of pillows, blankets and foster families.
Weekend at Bernie’s III
“Honeeeyyy, I told you to chop the body up nicely, put it in a bag and bury it, not just leave it on the deck! Do I have to clean up everything around here?!”
I’m so glad we had the chloroform blankie on our registy – it’s been the best gift ever!
This is great! Anything with Samuel L. Jackson is funny….good job! Now sadly mine is no longer funny…*sigh*
1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, FLOOR.
KnockOut Pest Control – 1 spritz for kids, 2 for husbands who won’t take no for an answer. (environmentally safe, works within seconds)
And this is the Wicked Witch of the Rest…
Nothing to see here. Now begone, before somebody drops a house on you too!
In Detroit, housing prices dropped dramatically as Baby Crackhouses popped up on every corner.
After a few successful tests on the children, Alicia was certain her Baby Ambien lab would be a thriving new neighborhood business.
I have not had enough coffee to be clever. But just have to say … LOVE Naps Happen! I live vicariously through Alicia.
Will someone get my head out of the rails please
Damn it, honey! You “forgot” to read the directions again, didn’t you? Here let me remind you. 1. Place body in planter. 2. Top with metal chairs. 3. Sit on chairs when child protective services arrives!
Body? What body? That’s a stripey upholstered folding chair, Officer!
That’s the last time he’ll ask mommy to ‘give him the chair’!
Apparently there WAS more than Apple Juice in that sippy cup…MOM???
I’m not even going to try and top some of these.
Love the photo, wish my daughters could nap anywhere.
From the people who brought you “Cat Caught in Trunk!” and “Witch Hitting Tree!” It’s…
“Crushed Toddler!”
Yes, parents, fool your friends with this adorable pair of stripey-jammied legs adorned with pudgy feet that you can slip under any heavy object!
Imagine the hours of laughter that follows your neighbors and family screaming in panic when they think little Bobby/Betty has been squashed flat by a sofa, refrigerator, or…as shown in our photo…an abandoned planter.
This grisly laugh-fest can be yours for just nine payments of $19.95 + S&H.
Operators are standing by! Order NOW and we’ll send you a copy of “A Funny Thing Happened and Then I Called Poison Control” for FREE!!!
Call now!!!
Roofied again.
who stole the ruby red slippers??
The search for Bobby Fischer ended at 555 Main Street in Detroit. Famous last words…”Damn it Father! I said No.More.Chess. BTW, check mate. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!”
Clearly Cormac was going to have to work harder on his Hide and Go Seek skills if he was to have any chance at the 2020 Olympic medal.
“Cormac honey, did you find Mommy’s contact lens yet? WELL, GET ON IT, STRIPED PANTS! WHAT DID I HAVE YOU FOR ANYWAY?”
First of all, don’t judge me for nursing my 3 year old. And secondly, don’t judge me for drinking Grain Alcohol while doing so.
WIN!
Lt. Horatio Caine: “Looks like someone…just threw his last tantrum” YEAHHHHHHHHHHH! (cue The Who)
The Hangover
My parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work.
now if i could just remember where i put my shoes. memo to self: should not have had that third rum and millk
Future king of the frat boy house.
bahahaha! awesome.
Practicing child labor can be tricky… you have to ride that fine line between working them hard but not to the point of passing out.
Narcoleptics Anonymous is for pussies.
That is the best possible caption EVER!!!
If I had a creative bone in my body, I’d have something to contribute other than that is quite possibly the funniest pic I’ve seen in a long time!
She said “let’s play Hide and Seek. One, two, three, GO!”
That was 3 hours ago, and the stupid kid still doesn’t realize mom’s been eating Ben & Jerry’s on the couch, catching up on True Blood episodes ever since.
The neighborhood kids were less than impressed with Cormac’s Caylee Anthony impression. Though – with the crystal tiara and pink pumps – he knew his JonBenet would likely remain his tour de force.
They found him the next morning, still passed out after a few bottles too many. Teddy bear is still missing after being seen leaving the party with some southside girls in zebra-print cloth diapers…
hahahahhahahahahahaha. That’s excellent.
Love it.
and that, my friends, is how we get to keep the halloween candy for ourselves.
i can’t top any of these captions, but just wanted to say thanks for sharing her site, my daughter is going to be a guest napper in july 🙂
This is what happens when you put your child to bed, drunk…
I know I don’t get to vote, but this is AWESOME!
Awesome! Send me a link when it happens!
I’m not sleepy…I’m not… sleepy…I’m… not… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ