Remember yesterday when I told you I wanted daddy to walk me to school and then refused to kiss you goodbye? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
Remember this morning when I ran into your bedroom at 5am and yelled "Good Morning!" so loud I woke the baby? I'm sorry. I keep forgetting about the baby.
Remember when I asked you to pick all the walnuts out of my muffin and then after you took a full ten minutes to make sure you removed every last one of them, I still refused to eat it? I'm sorry. That was really nice of you.
Remember when I screamed "HELP!" from your bedroom with such drama you thought the dresser had fallen on me and came running like the world was about to end, when actually I was screaming because there was a pretend shark swimming in your duvet? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you.
Remember when we were in the car on the way to Grammy's house and I asked you to play "the firetruck song" twenty times in a row and whenever you tried to switch to 'your music' I screamed "FIRETRUCK SONG!!!!" until my screaming became more annoying than the actual firetruck song so you just let it play on repeat? I'm sorry. I can see how that would be irritating.
Remember when I refused to eat the pizza because the basil had touched it? I'm sorry. I realize the addition of basil doesn't render the pizza completely inedible.
Remember when you said it was time to leave the playground and instead of saying, "OK, let's go mom!", I yelled "Nooooooooooo!!!!!" and ran away so you had to chase me in circles around the jungle gym? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you look bad in front of the playground moms.
Remember when I decided a used straw was my most prized possession and cried like someone killed my puppy when you threw it in the garbage? I'm sorry. I must have lost my mind that day.
Remember when I asked you to cut up an apple and you said "if I cut up this apple, you better eat it" and I said "I'll eat it, I promise" but then once you finished cutting it up I didn't want it anymore? I'm sorry. I misrepresented myself.
Remember the time I lost my shit over putting on a jacket? I'm sorry. I know it was cold outside.
Remember that time you turned the lights off because it was bedtime but then after you left the room, I turned the lights back on? And then this happened five more times until you were so pissed you removed the lightbulb from the ceiling? I'm sorry. In retrospect, that was not a very fun game.
Remember the time you were trying to put my shoes and socks on and I wouldn't keep my legs still and then I kicked you in the face? I'm sorry. It was an accident.
Remember the time I was running around the room and jumping over Harlow like a hurdle in an obstacle course even though you repeatedly told me to stop? I'm sorry. I should be more careful.
Remember the time I had a total meltdown over my balloon deflating? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you for something you have no control over.
Remember my Calliou phase? I'm sorry. Calliou sucks.
Remember the time you stopped for coffee and while we were standing in line, I decided that would be the perfect time to throw a tantrum on the floor? And you were wearing Harlow in the carrier so you couldn't even bend over to pick me up and carry me out? And all the people were looking at you and thinking 'I will never have kids!'? That was hilarious. But also? I'm sorry.
You know I love you no matter what and I know you love me no matter what, so that's why I feel comfortable testing you.
You know that, right?
I love you,
PS: They should have a special day for you or something.
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