Remember when I said newborns are a piece of cake? That must have been the leftover drugs from the epidural talking. I mean, don't get me wrong— they are WAY EASIER than little girls who just turned three… but it's not like you can leave them on the living room carpet and go have a spa day or something.
The main problem is depicted in the picture above. See that baby? It's 3am and she is WIDE AWAKE.
At the beginning, I was okay with getting very little sleep. I was on a new baby high with endless energy and forgot the concept of time entirely. Nights blended into days and time passed on it's very own mom-of-a-newborn continuum.
But this week, it's all starting to go downhill.
Part of it is the cumulative nature of sleepless nights. One night is totally doable. Two nights is fine too. Three weeks and all of a sudden you want to flee the scene and check yourself into a hotel room the second the baby starts crying at 2am.
Also, I don't know who told Harlow that the middle of the night is the most exciting time of day, but I'd like to find that person and hurt him. Or at least make him babysit for an evening.
There is one major problem not helping the situation.
Harlow has some digestive issues and breastfeeding leads to her feeling unsettled as opposed to satiated and sleepy. That's right— HARLOW DOESN'T DO MILK COMA. She prefers to grunt like an old man who just found out Madlock was canceled until she eventually spits up in my hair.
The pediatrician told me to leave her upright for about a half hour after feeding. This is fine during the day but at night, it sucks big time. By the time I feed her, let her digest properly and get her to go back to sleep, it's almost time to feed her again.
Also, since Harlow loves the nightlife, at 2am she looks bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, waiting for the entertainment to begin (let's watch that infomercial for the electric turkey fryer, Mom!)— which is the exact same moment I want to be asleep so badly I could cry. She remains awake until around 6am, enduring repeated attempts by yours truly to place her in the bassinet and sneak off to bed.
Unfortunately, every time my head hits the pillow, Harlow is fussing again. I run back, put a pacifier in her mouth, she calms down, I climb back in bed, the pacifier falls out and the grunting begins again. I listen to the grunting for a moment, convince my braindead sleepy self that this grunting is different than the last set of grunts and it actually means she is close to going back to sleep. But NO. It's the same grunting as the previous grunting and it means she is wrestling her arms out of her swaddle, kicking her feet and searching for her pacifier with her sad little gloved hand and I have to get back out of bed again before those grunts become full fledged WAILS.
It's an endless cycle that is slowly driving mad.
Ultimately, I end up taking Harlow into our bed which doesn't mean she falls asleep but it does mean she stays relatively quiet. Then I lie in a position that ensures I won't crush her or smother her with the blanket which after a week, has now translated into a pain in my right shoulder blade.
And just as Harlow looks like maybe she might drift off at 6am, guess who comes through the door?
MAZZY!
Looking for milk and begging to turn on Curious George. YAY!
The one saving grace is that Harlow seems to be sleeping fine during the day (thanks to a tip from a facebook fan who suggested preheating the bassinet with a heating pad and then slipping it out the moment before I lay the baby down).
But nighttime remains a nightmare. The heating pad trick doesn't work on a baby who isn't tired.
I love Harlow, but really– she is so much cuter when she is sleeping.
Anybody have any suggestions on how to flip a baby's clock?
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Today, on Babble, I am continuing "The Babymoon is Over" theme with "Who Said Motherhood is Beautiful?" about the lovely nature of eye gunk, grainy poop and snot sucking. Click here to read.
Maybe we could let my 21 month old come over and babysit your newborn? She got me up every night for 16 months and now has restarted again with a 3am playtime. I am debating sending her outside to the playhouse to sleep.
My only suggestion would be to treat it like jetlag and try and get as much natural light as you can. Perhaps that will help her reset her biological clock.
Good luck to you!
I feel your pain. I have a 5 and a half month old that wakes up every hour to check her fantasy football score. I have caved to the wonderful world of co-sleeping. I never thought I would but it is so nice just to half wake up when I am needed. Lots of people don’t feel comfortable with this…I didn’t really when she was smaller. So, I just put the bassinet really close to my bed so I could reach over without getting up. It’s not much but you might get an extra 14 minutes and every minute of sleep counts!
You need this… http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005IWM73S/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B002M77N22&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1SJPR3ZB643X79H51AAH
It would take care of the needing to stay upright for a half hour after eating thing since she would be sleeping on an incline. That half hour is probably what is making her not tired. Pop off boob, put in sleeper. And, you could put the sleeper next to your bed. Paci falls out, reach over pop it back in, give the sleeper a rock or two and off to sleep!!!
Best of luck!!!
Oh and in case for some reason you are afraid to click the link thinking it might be a porn virus the product is called a Fisher Price Rock n’ Play Sungabunny sleeper 🙂
She looks soooo cute when she’s sleeping! I feel your pain. We had a similar problem with George, and what helped was a combination of:
1) making sure he got plenty of light during the day (our doctor says this is setting his biological clock) and that his room was really dark for nighttime
2) trying to increase nursing during the day (look at it as your baby needs let’s say 16 oz of milk per 24 hour period, if you can get her to have 12 oz during the day, that’s only 4 oz she needs at night. Those are just example numbers, not saying those are the actual amounts.)
Also, have you tried any swings or vibrating seats or anything like that? Might help her get some more sleep, or at least you could put her in that in your room and sleep without the shoulder pain, hopefully.
Good luck!
My son was the same way…digestion problems as well. No matter what I tried nothing work…and like you after several weeks of no sleep I thought I was going to jump off the crazy train. Until I put a swing that swings sideways in my room. After feedings I would prop him up in the swing turn on classical music and he would be out like a light. My heart truly bleeds for you as it is a tough situation!! Good luck!
two quick things:
1. Night Nurse. It’s never too late. I have a great one in NYC if you’d like her name. She saved my life.
2. Put that baby down on her side (propped up with those infant positioner things). I never said this. But I said this. But I never said this.
I used to put my girls to sleep in the baby swing, and let them stay there all night if they were being fussy. After her feeding, just let her swing, and she’ll drift off to sleep. It will help with Harlow’s situation, since she has to stay upright for a while after feeding. I did this until my girls (now ages 13, 12, and 8) started sleeping better (and for longer stretches) in the crib.
My son had a ton of sinus drainage and also had to be upright so he slept in his swing in our bedroom for a couple of months. He slept better in that than anything else and was able to be upright without being held. That is my one and only suggestion.
I’ve also heard amazing things about the Rock-n-Play for relux babies or any that needed to be held upright after feedings.
This sounds psychotic, but don’t let her snooze for longer stretches during the day. I had that issue with the youngest. He was also more settled on his stomach. So, as much as I’m not hyped about sleeping with your baby, I did for the first 6 weeks. First he slept on my chest (which I know is unhealthy but it was the only sleep I got, and I was upright) then I moved to his room onto a foldout bed. I tilted his mattress (he was on his back at this point) and while I heard every grunt, I was at least horizontal and dozing. Both of my boys had acid reflux. The oldest had an ear infection at 6 weeks from it (which is unheard of). I wish you luck. I’m glad you had a couple weeks of bliss.
Agreed – try the Rock ‘n Play sleeper! Our guy slept in it until he was just over 3 months. Seriously AMAZING. I will warn you that it can be brutal to transition away from it, but you gotta do what works to get some sleep NOW. I don’t regret it for a second! Do it.
Hi Ilana. Try WUBANUBS pacifiers. They have little dolls attached at the ends. You can stick the doll in the swaddle / car seat straps and the paci won’t fall out. Also, when the baby gets bigger it is easier for them to find and stick back in their mouth. Jacob sleeps with 8 of them scattered around his crib. Good luck!
Steph (Schwarz) Sailor
Have you tried a white noise machine or anything? We got one from Target and my 4-month-old has had it in his room since we came home from the hospital. They say that white noise is supposed to be similar to sounds in the womb.
http://www.target.com/p/homedics-sound-spa-lullaby-relaxation-machine/-/A-10707864#prodSlot=dlp_medium_1_7&term=HoMedics
My oldest had HORRIBLE reflux (think Exorcist at 3 am) resulting in the same suggestion – keep him upright for an hour after sleeping. It took about 2 weeks of that (with a husband in Iraq and I was by myself) before I asked the doctor if there was another way. He gave him an RX for Prevacid and we never looked back.
Reversing nights and days? I’m no good at that. My 3 year old would still party at 4 am if I let him and he’s been like that since he was in utero.
Anyone you know have an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper you could borrow? If you are not familiar, it is a tiny sort of crib that slides right up to the side of your bed with a cutout so you can literally just reach over and touch her. I kept my girl in our room right beside the bed for the first few months…I hate to admit it but i think she slept better just being closer to me and I literally could fall sleep with my finger holding her pacifier in her mouth which kept her comforted. Sometimes she just wanted my hand on her belly. I also found sometimes if propped myself up on 4 pillows and held her, I could snooze a bit and then easily just slide her back into the co-sleeper without her waking. It really helped her get some longer stretches of sleep. Someone also told me to always keep lighting very low when a babe wakes at night…and to keep quiet, only whisper and see if that gives them an indication that it is SLEEP TIME damnit!!
Don’t let her nap too long during the day. Feed her every 3 hours. Wake her up to feed her if she’s napping. A routine saved my life with number two. She’s almost 1!!!! Can’t believe it.
Hey there! I totally feel your pain. Our son had reflux and problems digesting milk protein. What ended up saving us was the fisher price rock n play. It keeps baby cozy but at a an angle to help with digestion. We also had to do the 30 mins upright after feeds and couldn’t believe the grunting noises a tiny baby could make!
http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22
It folds up easily so you can tuck it away, but it is also great for when you are in the shower. Also, try and keep that baby awake during the day so her days/nights aren’t off (easier said than done, I know, especially when you want to sleep during the day because of the lack of sleep at night).
Such great suggestions! I can surely empathize with the sleep deprevation and toddler. We moved the semi upright vibrating chair next to our bedside. Our boy was prone to projectile puking after eating and I too was told to hold upright.. but in the middle of the night?! After a feeding and a good burping session, i would place him in the vibrating chair, strap him in and lay back down. that helped us for a good 2 months until his belly figured it out and he was able to sleep in his crib. Hang in there, mama!
I was always told to keep her up all day for a day. Although that’s easier said than done when you’re exhausted and it doesn’t matter what time it is as long as she’s sleeping and you can sleep too.
Also, for the reflux, maybe try letting her sleep swaddled in a swing or bouncy seat. I did that with my kids. Both major vomiters.
Good luck…it will eventually work itself out.
Keep the lights very low and no sound when you are up with her. Both of my children were upset tummy babies, but this worked with them. kept the lights off, no other noise than the rocking chair. My son slept through the night at 4 weeks, daughter at 6. Also- do the diaper change midway through feeding. It will wake little Harlow up enough to finish eating and you won’t have to wake her after feeding (that is praying she falls asleep. I will keep my fingers crossed you haven’t tried these ideas and that they will work. It’s all I know… so it was worth sharing just in case they work for yoiu.
We used this with our first, and plan on using with our next. Our first kid had reflux and needed to sleep upright.. win win. Plus like Beth said, you can rock if there is fussing and it is pretty portable to move around the house. 🙂 Best $60 I’ve spent in a while.
Argh, I don’t miss that stage. Remember that it’s not forever!
One thing we did that helped was use the Arms Reach mini-cosleeper. So the baby was right there and I didn’t have to get up all the time. But he wasn’t in our bed, either.
Btw, Harlow looks just like Mazzy as a baby! Beautiful, both of them.
I love how you assume that the person who told Harlow that night time is AWESOME is a man 🙂
At least you know it’ll get easier with time: Advantage of a 2nd time Momma. And I’ll be right with you about 6-7 months from now!! 🙂
We had mild reflux with my twins, and it was such a pain to keep them upright after feedings in the middle of the night. But with #3, we made sure to keep all of the lights out when she woke during the night, except maybe the light in the adjacent bathroom so we could kinda see what we were doing. Right now she may still be too little to get the day/night confusion, but that might help.
Hmm sounds like your daughter might have reflux like mine did. Here what we had to do:
1 – buy the fisher price rock n play – it’s $50, and it keeps the baby at an angle that helps with digestion. it made a HUGE difference – my daughter litterally would not have slept without it.
2 – I went on an elimination diet to figure out if I was eating anything that bothered her. The culprits for me were garlic, peppers (hot or mild), soy, and chocolate. Once I cut those out, the spitting up did decrease.
3 – She was on zantac starting at 9 weeks, but I am sure should have been on it sooner.
4 – I did also have to hold her upright for 20-60 minutes after each feeding. Though my daughter did go into milk comma, as soon as I laid her down, she would start fussing if she hadn’t fully digested. Therefore, after middle of the night feedings, I just propped myself up on 3-4 pillows and slept with her on my chest.
On top of this, it sounds like she has her days and nights mixed up. I would also stop letting her sleep so well during the day. With my daughter, I woke her every 2 hours to eat during the day, and then she would get her longer stretches at night (she would usually get at least one stretch of 4-5 hours by my doing this).
I hope some of this helps you – sounds SO similar to what I went through. If nothing else – buy the fisher price rock n play!!!
Ugh, sorry darling. Luke was a bit off at first but quickly adjusted. There is no right answer, just trial and error. I learned the first time around to create a bedtime ritual and not use any of those tricks during the day (i.e. total darkness, sound machine, swaddle). I feel you with the reflux. Both my babies had/have it. I’m sure you’ve been told to try and keep the meals short and frequent, which helps, especially if you have a strong letdown. Try propping your bassinet a little so she’s not lying flat on her back as well, and yes, right next to your bed so you can reach down the minute she fusses and she knows you’re there. GOOD LUCK! As you know, this is such a small piece of the total picture and you WILL forget, if that helps at all 🙂
The only thing that worked for us was the Miracle Blanket. Something about super tight swaddling worked to knock him out at night. And this was also with a baby who had digestive issues… I think it helped to make him feel more settled or something. Plus the hands being held down (gosh that sounds horrible) made it more likely that the pacifier stayed in. Good luck!
I can’t give advice on changing her habits- Caitlyn is 2 and a half and STILL a night owl- but have you considered having her sleep somewhere besides the bassinet? I swear, Caitlyn slept in her swing for the first 3 or 4 months of her life. It’s a little more upright, which might help with the tummy trouble, and if she’s not ready to drift off just yet, the lights and sounds and shit will keep her occupied at least long enough for you to blink real hard.
My other advice is to ditch the swaddling. My sister was HUGE on swaddling. She insisted I needed to swaddle. And Caitlyn HATED it. To this day, she sleeps in her diaper and nothing else. She hates to be hot or confined and so being swaddled was basically her nightmare. You don’t have to do something just because it’s what “most” babies like. Your kid might just hate it. I know mine did.
P.S. She is adorable. I love the first picture. She looks a little like Benjamin Button.
Wow this was my life 3 short weeks ago! Including the wake up call from my 2 yo DD and reflux /spittingup issues! First of all, rock and play sleeper is key. We are now getting a 6, yes, 6-hour stretch every night. Also, try and let her cluster feed from like 6-10 to fill her up. I’m now going to admit something that will get some frowns I’m sure! I give her a bottle of formula (spiked with mylicon) for her night bottle. That has helped put her in an night coma. Not for everyone, but I could not take it. By 6am I was crying and threatening divorce from my husband. Now, at 6 weeks old, I’m actually getting dressed some days and even shaved my legs yesterday! I’m certain the transition to her crib from the rnp sleeper will be wretched, especially since this kid grunts like an NFL linebacker, but at least I’ll be a little less sleep deprived when we start that journey.
We had this and it was a DREAM come true. Best rocker ever!
This may be cruel to some, but worked for us, we kept our daughter awake as much as we could during the day, and then she started sleeping at night. It wasn’t pretty, but it did the trick. Think of trying to get your clock set to local time after international travel.
My baby boy was born on Nov 2. He slept pretty much around the clock at first, but now his awake/fussy time is during those hours I desperately want to sleep. I doze on the couch a lot in the mornings, but I have a 2yo and a 3yo, so it’s tricky. Too many cartoons. Whatever.
I wanted to tell you: this is my first baby (of 4) who doesn’t have digestive issues. The last one slept in her infant carrier (car seat) for many, many months. She just could not sleep lying down, and the incline was perfect. I highly recommend it. It sounds messed up to put your baby in her car seat in the middle of the night, but you don’t have to put the seat in the car, in the cold (haha); you can put it on the floor beside your bed or even in the crib.
Lots of light during the day! We put my son in front of a window with a sheer curtain so it was daylight in every place he napped during the day and he wouldn’t sleep so long then at night he would go right down. It worked pretty suddenly. We had like 2 days where he just wasn’t sleeping at all and I was sure I was a horrible mother and should take him back to the hospital so a suitable parent could raise him. But the evening of the second night? He fell asleep at 9pm and slept for 6 hours! I totally would have woken him up to feed him but I slept like a log that night. Getting their days and nights on your days in nights is HARD because you do want to be doing things during the day but it all evens out eventually. Also? If you could tell me how to get an almost 2 year old to sleep I would cry with joy. Seriously.
I’m not sure about flipping the baby clock, but my son lived in his bouncy seat for probably 6 months because of tummy issues. He slept overnight in that thing with vibrations on and we even had a couple middle-of-the-night-emergency trips to the store to buy more batteries. The only thing that saved my sanity was that precious seat.
Seriously, this is why Manhattan invented baby nurses. There’s nothing like ’em.
All hail the bouncy seat! Especially the ones with the timed vibration!
Also, next time I get that “new baby” urge, I’ll just read this. I’m good with two….
I just also want to say the first several times people suggested to me that I try keeping him awake more during the day I wanted to claw their eyes out. I’m pretty sure thats an appropriate response to this suggestion.
I just went through the same thing with my little girl…that sleep-deprived level of crazy is no fun for anyone involved, and my 2-year old didn’t seem to appreciate my lack of energy and patience during the day which made his behavior worse (and made me more exhausted and crazy!). Here are the things that worked for us, and now at 3 months she’s consistently sleeping from 7pm-4am, eating and going right back to sleep until 7am:
* Fisher Price Rock n Play Sleeper
* Snug a Bunny swing (it’s pricey compared to other swings, but it’s one of the only swings that plugs in instead of needing batteries, will run constantly instead of on a timer, has a adjustable incline, and can swing front-to-back or side-to-side)
* Make sure she’s getting lots and lots of tummy time
* During the day, start working toward a 4 hour cycle of 2 hours sleeping, wake up, eat, 2 hours awake…(we’ve just gotten to this in the last 2-3 weeks)
* For a while I had her nap in the living room/kitchen with us during the day 1) So I could more easily help her get good, solid naps instead if catnaps (if she wakes up fussing she’s not done sleeping); 2) to give a even bigger distinction between day/night
YES! We had the Rock N Play too as a recommendation from a friend – best baby item EVER!!!
My kids are so old, I can’t remember what worked.
So I have no advice.
I will, however, meet you at the hotel with a bottle of wine and some Vicodin for that shoulder blade.
I’m glad to hear that you’re co-sleeping. That worked great for my two kids (now teenagers — proof that this time period is survivable!) I’m wondering why you don’t just surrender and bring her into bed with you at the get-go. You’ll get more sleep and she’ll feel peaceful because you’re close (even if she is wide-awake). There are co-sleeper-type bassinets that hook onto the side of a bed, allowing her to have her own space, if you’re concerned about rolling over onto her. My friend used one with her son and loved it.
Seriously, though, just because Harlow’s awake doesn’t mean that you have to be. Keep the room dark, nurse her/change her in the dimmest light possible, and she’ll figure it out sooner rather than later.
As far as the breast-feeding/spitting up thing goes — have you consulted with a breast-feeding expert about this? It’s possible that something that you are eating is upsetting Harlow’s tummy. Considering the havoc that GMOs are wreaking on people nowadays, now would be a good time to switch to straight organic everything if you haven’t done so already. Harlow may be sensitive to gluten, soy, dairy, or processed foods in general.
She is *gorgeous* and I am so happy for you!
I get the arms out of the swaddle. Lexie drove me crazy with that until we got a SwaddleMe. http://www.summerinfant.com/SwaddleMe.aspx
Best thing I ever bought!!
I am going through the same situation but with my 5 month old. After one month of sleeping through the night, he is now waking up from 3 to 6/7am.. My days and nights are “blurring” together and I’m going crazy!!
anytime I tried to force that switch of a new babe’s clock — it horribly backfired. horribly. there was crying and flailing and spitting….and the baby was worse. 🙂
however, and most importantly I was never HERE…my son had the same digestive issues with breastfeeding and we had to prop him up or Stay Up (heck to the no) so hubby one dark and stormy night (ok, maybe not quite) he said screw this! (true) and put him on his tummy to sleep.
the story concludes about 9 hours later when we all woke up for blissful rest.
But like I said…Was.Never.Here
Also, they make a great baby monitor that has an alarm that sounds if the baby stops breathing. it works great – I mean, so I hear.
Fisher Price Rock and Play. My son ( my second baby ) was just like Harlow. After 6 weeks of hell, hubby went out and got one. He slept through the night from then on…I get one for all my prego friends now.. even if it’s not on the registry!
Also, “Mommy’s Bliss” gripe water for her gas. My Nicholas had the worst reflux and this brand worked wonders… Good Luck mama!
my first born was a fussy baby, too, especially at night. So the trick for him was turning on the vacuum cleaner, not a dust buster, but the real deal. The noise soothed him immediately. The other thing that worked was putting him on top of the washer/dryer (lid closed) and he loved the vibration, instantly calmed him down. Today he is 17 years old and wants nothing to do with vacuuming or laundry, go figure.
The only way my son stayed asleep in a location that was not a lap the first two months was to sleep in his carseat. If he stirred, you could easily rock him a bit, or bounce him on a yoga ball (I swear, it worked miracles). It has the added perk of being slightly upright.
I did the same w/ my daughter from the beginning and it worked like a charm. She hated swings.
Both of my children were swaddle escape artists and they hated it.
Good luck. Many of us have been there and survived.
We just don’t remember any of it.
I second the Rock’n Play for Reflux issues. We used it for the first 8 weeks, then transitioned to tilted mattress and finally flat crib.
Sorry I can’t give any tips for night day confusion. Both my boys fought sleep like ninjas during the day, so by nighttime they were completely konked out. We did make sure though to keep their rooms quiet and dark at night.
I feel your pain! My daughter was born a night owl. This worked for us – As soon as her older brother woke up, (about 6 a.m. ugh!) I’d put her in her bouncy seat in front of a window that let a lot of sunlight in. At the risk of sounding like a negligent mother who never held her baby, I tried to keep her as close to natural sunlight as possible during the day, which meant a lot of time in that bouncy seat. Even if she was sleeping. Either we were really lucky, or it helped her body understand day vs. night. She still didn’t sleep as much as ‘most’ babies, but she wasn’t wide awake between 11 p.m. – 3 a.m. (no freaking joke!!) like she had been before.
P.S. She went in the bounce seat to stay upright after eating, too…and I’d doze off in the chair. Holy crap, did I ever hold my baby??
My son had teerrible reflux as a baby, which led to an inclined mattress, cereal in his bottles (my breastmilk was not coming in well anyway) and liquid zantac. But he thrived beautifully after that. Still deals with reflux though from time to time. And have you tried not swaddling her? I know this sounds counter productive but some kids hate it! My daughter hated it! She loves to snuggle but hates to be confined. Once I realized that and started putting warm sleepers on her (or baby sacks) she was much easier to put down for the night. Good luck finding what works for little Harlow 🙂
The Rock n Play sleeper is amazing. I used it with my first and am using it now with my one week old. Neither had reflux (so far anyway) but they seem to sleep better in it. I did get a Halo sleep sack this time and will try that out tonight, my little baby was up all night last night. The pacifier wouldn’t stay in and her eyes were wide open. So let us know what works before I get to the zombie stage!
I’m going to recommend the rock n play like a couple of other commenters did — used it with my second and it was amazing. Also I fully caved in to co-sleeping with number two from the start. That boy puked on me after every single feeding for months — unless he laid down to nurse and didn’t get moved afterward. It was the only way to get a decent amount of sleep and not be a total grump for my two year old the next morning when he, like Mazzy, was up demanding milk and tv at 6am.
We did the vibrating seat bc my son hated the swing. I swear that thing jiggled every last burp out of him. I ended up buying a second one after the first one wore out. Best 50 bucks I’ve ever spent. The only other thing I did with my son was lay him next to me in bed. It was uncomfortable but I was so tired, it didn’t even matter.he seemed to be comforted just by laying next to me.
I highly recommend a swaddle that she can’t get out of. We discovered the Woombie with our third boy when he was a few months old and I’m ordering a newborn size for our next one due in 11 weeks. It allows them to wiggle inside, but they can’t do that startle response that zaps them wide awake. Otherwise, to get days and nights fixed, you can try keeping the lights off or way down, calm music playing, and maybe trying to prop yourself up in bed on a husband pillow so you’re kinda sitting, and lay her in the crook of your arm with her head on your shoulder so she’s a little more vertical (for the digestive help), but still in a settled position with you so you can doze while she grunts. I wasn’t comfortable laying flat to co-sleep with my little ones until they were about a month or 6 weeks old, but holding a swaddled newborn in a position where they can’t go anywhere but still be with you made me feel safe enough to get a little more sleep in.
She is too cute! here are the things we did with our first who had day and night reversed for a while:
1. Buy a Boppy Lounger…..and let her sleep in it at night…..It says everywhere not to let them sleep in it but until they can move on their own it is a god send for sleep. But like a previous commenter, I did not say let her sleep in it! Here is the link…
http://www.amazon.com/Boppy-Newborn-Lounger-Seed-Row/dp/B002WDAW5Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355423924&sr=8-1&keywords=boppy+newborn+lounger
2. Although waking a sleeping baby feels wrong in every way – until she is doing longer stretches at night don’t let her go more then 2.5 or 3 hours during the day. Wake and feed….the idea is to get her consumption up during daylight hours.
3. NEVER turn on the lights during the night….darkness is key for turning their day/night reversal around.
Good luck…we are having #2 in a couple of weeks and your blog is perfect for me! May have even called you my “blogger friend” a couple of times! oops!
my lovely little boy was the same way those early weeks…sleep 5am disrupted by dad’s alarm at 5:30am and then big brother at 7:30. I was never able to get back to sleep until everyone left the house at 8:30am. In any case, I often slept on my lazyboy with the little guy lying on my chest. The movement and sound knocked both of us right out. He’s now way to big for that, so co-sleeping in a separate room from dad and big brother is the order of the day. The old advice…sleep when the baby sleeps rings ever so true…now I automatically wake just before his feeding times and I’m not a zombie. Chin up it feels like forever, but it really doesn’t last that long. I can even get by without an afternoon nap most days.
You and me are on pretty much kid making path. I have a 2.8 child and 4 1/2 month. I feel your pain & you sound like me. Just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. you know how many baby on the knees up pictures i have. YOu just don’t know what to do staying up all night except take these pictures and hope baby goes to sleep. Hang in there
Definitely no more babies for me. You got me thinking about it after reading about your babymoon, but this cured it. Don’t have any suggestions other than bring her into bed with you, at least you won’t have to get up. I’d prop them on my chest and doze off that way. Just make sure the baby doesn’t start slipping off the bed. That’s not good.
Have you tried eliminating food from your diet? It may help with the digestion. Dairy is often a culprit.
Also during the day you may need to shorten her naps or keep her awake at longer periods of time, with bright lights. Signifying it is daytime, or awake time. Then at night make sure it is really dark (or darker).
Also maybe she just needs to grunt it out on her own, if she isn’t crying maybe leave her there for a bit longer in the bassinet?
Hope you find a plan that works.
My second and third babies had bad reflux and my second was a sleep Nazi for a year and a half. My second slept in his swing until he was 15 months old (he’s little.) reflux problem solved. My third slept in his swing, too, until he was a couple of months old. When he started rolling over really well from back to tummy we started putting him down on his tummy (around 7 weeks, believe it or not.) I’m really sorry, reflux stinks. My first one didn’t have reflux per se, but would puke and puke after he ate. It took me a bit to realize that he was overeating. I started timing his nursing and he was perfectly fine with no more issues. I hope baby Harlow figures it out soon! The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child was a lifesaver for me with my kids sleep issues.
Well, my babies are 30 and 32…sounds like to me you need to do some quick shopping for a boppy lounger or something similar. Back in the day (yes…I’m old), we ended up cosleeping for the purpose of survival. As long ago as it was, I can STILL remember looking at the clock and seeing 8:00….and then having to look out the window to see if it was 8 a.m. or 8 p.m….Yes….that is what sleep deprivation does to you…and, obviously…one never forgets it! 😉 From an old momma to a new one….May the Force be with you.
I’m just now coming out of this stage with the baby. My one, saving grace was letting him sleep in his swing for the first three months. I’d feed him, burp him, and plop him in there. It was upright enough that he’d go back to sleep and not have too many stomach troubles.
The twins getting up a 6am, however …well, if you figure out how to put a stop to that, let me know.
Hang in there!
Ugh! Your post brings me right back to those days with Ella. She was exactly the same way. The swing helped with us big time. Ella slept in the swing for about 4 weeks I think. Hang in there!! At least these phases tend to be short lived. xoxo
It could be as simple as something in your diet. My wife had the same thing with our daughter. Shed be a grunty spitting up mess. As soon as my wife cut out milk it all went away. She tested the theory a few times, it was a perfect correlation. Drink milk or eat ice cream and fussy puking baby. Good luck!
I feel your pain, and my youngest is 30. She was the day/night mixed-up child and the puker that was lactose intolerant.
With the combination of vomitting and grainy bowel movements, I suspect Harlowe may be dealing with a version of lactose intolerance. One thing you may try before starting to cut things out of your diet is to start taking probiotic capsules (if you don’t already). As far as getting her days/nights rearranged, I say keep her awake as much as possible during the day and use a side to side swing at night.
Have you tried the Rock N Play Sleeper? It was kind of developed for babies that are having reflux issues. It is a bassinet of sorts that is on an incline inside of being flat. That way their digestive issues do not flare up. I breastfed my daughter too so I kept the Rock N Play right next to my bed to where she was touching the mattress. That way she was close by and I wasn’t losing as much sleep getting up and down with her at night. Just an idea! It was a life saver for us! http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=rock+n+play+sleeper
Thankfully my boy has been a sleeper (he’s 2 now) but the days he wanted to be a rascal….the extra car seat was awesome! He would immediately pass out. Our bed is on the floor so just plopped it next to me n if he started moving it was at arm reach so just rocked it. Also we had a slanted pillow thing with bumpers that helped in the bassinet. We only had to do that for like 3 months or so then he went to his crib…which the transition was easy as hell. Good luck!
I did this as well with baby #2. Actually, I had the bouncy up in the pack in play, so she was strapped in but next to my bed so I could just stick a hand out to check on her. Took 2 weeks and then I was slowly able to remove the bouncy & she was good with the swaddle.
My oldest is six months younger than Mazzy and my infant is a couple weeks older than Harlow. So grateful I found your blog last week; you are speakin my language! Aside from turkey fryer infomercials, you are my early morning entertainment. Thanks for your wit and relatable content!! Sweet dreams to Harlow; my non-milk-comma babe has been screaming for an hour and a half straight 🙁
Yes, the Miracle Blanket is the best! Buy 2 so when one is dirty, you have another. (I actually have 4. My son kept peeing all over them and I couldn’t wash them fast enough!)
Such awesome advice about the reflux. What worked for us was an elimination diet…I am wheat, dairy, tomato and orange free. That and a few visits to an infant cranial osteopath and my sons reflux is gone. If I cave and eat chocolate down my throat I see a difference in him the next day! Also raising the bassinet on an angle if you choose not to use the rocker etc recommended here…they look awesome!
Also with the swaddling what work best for us was 2 wraps, the inner one went over arms and under the legs to pin the arms down then the outer wrapped around as per normal…tried to find a diagram on google but my google-fu is lacking
Okay that was meant to say ram chocolate down my throat…clearly I should be sleeping and not on the iPad…
I was going to recommend the Fisher Price Rock & Play sleeper but I see several moms beat me to it! BUY IT. I have four kids and it didn’t exist for the first three, which makes me incredibly sad in retrospect. I love this thing so much I sound like an infomercial when I talk about it. My babies were all refluxers and would never sleep that well after eating. My fourth was a good sleeper BECAUSE of this thing. It easily folds up to store and it’s tall enough to keep your toddler from crawling onto the baby. It’s the perfect bed/couch height too.
Also, and I know you probably don’t want to hear it, if that doesn’t help trying cutting out dairy. If she starts getting super cranky I would think about that. But buy the rocker. Trust us.
Babywise: http://www.amazon.com/On-Becoming-Baby-Wise-Nighttime/dp/1932740139/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355489877&sr=8-1&keywords=babywise
I was a crazy lady about the baby not going longer than 3 hours during the day without eating, and then let him go as long as he wanted to at night (as he got a little older.) By 10 weeks he was sleeping through the night and yes, he had reflux so bad he was on medication. Sleep saved our lives!
Wubbanub. Look it up on amazon its a soothie pacifier with an animal attached. Helps keeps the paci in place and easy for them to pop back in around 3 months. My oldest had reflux she slept in her swing or carseat till she was 5 months. Good luck and don’t worry they usually start flipping their days and nights to a non vampire schedule about 5 or 6 weeks on their own. You can do all the intervening you want but I don’t think it helps and probably just stresses you out more.
mine just turned 2, and we had this problem last month. I eventually just let her sleep herself out at her nap (3.5 ours!) just to let ME nap, and I swear that night she went to sleep normal time and got up maybe 15 minutes before she used to before the sleep problems. Might just be too tired?
Definitely buy the rock-n-play sleeper and the miracle blanket! Both of them saved my life. My now 4 month old daughter had reflux really bad as a newborn and hated sleeping flat on her back. Once we finally figured that out, we ditched the bassinet and let her sleep in the rock-n-play. It’s so nice because you can put it right next to your bed and just rock her to calm her down, plus you don’t have to stay up for an additional 30 min to keep her upright after feeding. BRILLIANT! To transition her out of the sleeper, we put a pillow under her crib mattress to keep her elevated and she did just fine with it. We were actually just now able to get the pillow out of there so she can sleep flat on her back. Worth a try..
My 3rd on wouldn’t sleep laying down for the first couple of months either. Yes, my 3rd. Where sleep is even more vital because not only did I have a preschooler, but one in kindergarten. I really had to be on top of things. So my littlest slept in her car seat by my bed for the first couple of months. Sounds silly, but it was enough of an incline that kept her from having the tummy problems, and it kept her cozy. And I got much needed sleep. Good luck!
My daughter slept in her swing for her first 5 months of life because of this. Once she could roll herself over and back, all was well, but before then, she HAD tobein the swing or my life was a nightmare!
Poor mama! I’d prolly give you the same advice as everyone is giving you above about switching her clock, but honestly, I’m just going to say it’s going to happen when it’s going to happen. I tried tricks on our firstborn, reading, being louder during the day, napping in a place other than the bedroom, games, etc. But none of it helped. He just switched to the night cycle naturally. It was painful while he made the switch but I wish I would have known all that other stuff doesn’t work so I wouldn’t have to stress about it and waste my time. Good luck. You’re doing great!
You already have lots of suggestions, but maybe try not eating dairy and gluten for a few days, to see if there’s any improvement.
And as far as an immediate fix, letting her exercise (um, cry) during the day helps them sleep better at night. My pediatrician said 4 hours of crying was the best exercise for a sleepier baby at night. Not all at once, obviously. But letting her be cranky or grunt during the day is better than at grunting and partying all night.
Good luck! It gets better.
I think I just had a flashback to my lactating coma! Good luck and here’s to 8 hour nights coming soon!
wow she looks sooo much like your oldest. the pic on the top of this post and the top of your blog could be the same child
The NapNanny really helped with my little one. It’s like a little baby lay-z-boy recliner so they can sleep at an upward angle.
Ahhh! That makes sense. I’ll try 🙂
I have a three week old baby as well and this is my life too! Really, the nighttime you describe is exactly what happens at my house. It is helpful to hear others have similar issues.
Chiropractor and probiotics did wonders for us! P.S. they don’t really crack and pop the babies 🙂
I know I am late to the game here but THIS. Granted Ollie still wakes up, he is never awake awake at night. I use such little light and don’t even look at my phone anymore.
Also diaper change midway through is awesome if you are still doing a good number of feeds. I have found Oliver can take his dinner and 1.5 feedings in the night on one diaper. Save a step.
Ohhh goodness Mama, I feel for you and I hope since I just found your blog, that she is doing better now. My 3 year old daughter was a nightmare for the first 6 months of her life…every. single. night! Acid and tummy problems as well. It is no freakin picnic and NOT for the light of heart. I HATED, HATED other mothers who would share how great their kids slept. She would not sleep for more than 20 mins every time I tried to put her in a bassinet or crib. She slept on me a lot, which I hated and didn’t get great sleep due to various fears anyway, but I was desperate! Eventually, I would stick that child in annnything that was more upright, her car seat, her swing, etc. After she was older, I found the fisher price thingie and was like WHERE THE CRAP WAS THIS WHEN I NEEDED IT?!!! I promptly bought one for my expecting sister and plan to steal it when my second arrives in a few short months, as I shudder to even truly recall the horror I once lived as a mama to a newborn : /