This post is sponsored by JĀSÖN®, but all thoughts and opinions are my own. 

Last year, at around this time, Mazzy was walking to school with Mike and saw the “F word” written in graffiti on the side of a building. Since last year was the year her confidence grew in reading, Mazzy attempted to read it out loud. Mike pulled her away before she could finish, saying that it was a bad word. She reported the incident once she got home.

“Mom, I saw a bad word today.”

“Oh, really. What word?”

“The F word. It was written on the wall.”

“Well, even if you know the word, you shouldn’t say it.”

“I didn’t see the whole word. I know it started with an ‘F’ and it ended in ‘ing’.”

“Uh, okay. Time to get ready for bed!”

“I might know the word.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to know the word. Just go brush your teeth.”


“No. Don’t worry about it.”


“No. Seriously, Mazzy, you don’t have to guess.”


“No. You’re really better off not knowing.”


“Mazzy! Stop guessing! JUST GO TO BED!”

Then Mike and I made her brush her teeth, tucked her in and laughed our fooking asses off in the other room.

In all seriousness though, Mazzy retained much of her innocence for almost another whole year. Just a few months ago, she was reading a second grade level book for school and she called me over. “Mom. There’s a bad word in here.”

“Really??” That would be surprising.

“Yes. Really.” She pointed to the word. It was the word “shut” used in the context of “shut up.”

“Oh. ‘Shut’ isn’t a bad word. You say ‘shut the door,’ right?”

“Yeah, but mom. It says ‘shut up.'”

“Well yes, you shouldn’t say that. It’s not nice. But it’s not really a bad word.”

Mazzy also tattled on Harlow by saying things like, “Mom! Harlow said the S word!”

“Really? What’s the S word?”


“Oh, okay. Harlow, you shouldn’t say the word stupid.” And then I’d go into the other room and pat myself on the back for retaining their innocence.

Then Mazzy became really fond of a joke she made up about the “F word.”

“Mom!!! Harlow said the ‘F word’!!!!”

“WHAT??? What’s the ‘F word’?”


And I’d think, WOW. We really have come a long way since 2013. But it also made me realize she knew there was a bad F word, but she didn’t know exactly what it was.

Then, I’m not sure what happened. I don’t know if I got over confident or I underestimated their ears, but I seem to have become more and more lax about cursing when I am around them. At first, it was a few “sh*ts” that would slip out (not literally) when I locked my keys inside our apartment or forgot an umbrella and had to go back upstairs. Then there was the time I called someone an “a**hole” on the subway when he bumped into Harlow’s stroller and then had the gaul to give me a dirty look. And then the other day, I hit my funny bone on the corner of a table and let the “F word” out. Not just in front of my children but in front of other children too. I put my hand over my mouth and glanced at my mom friend, who sat there smirking and shaking her head at me. For a second, I didn’t think any of the kids had noticed, but then Mazzy turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said, “I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, MOM.”

So there you go. Mazzy officially knows the F word. I didn’t need graffiti or a book to teach it to her. I did it all on my own.

Since Mazzy’s innocence is now lost, I have only Harlow to protect. But once you let the foul-mouthed person that you were before you had kids slip out, it’s pretty f*cking hard to put that person back in.

I made a short little video for @averageparentproblems to demonstrate.

If you need to wash your mouth out, but aren’t into the idea of soap, you should check out the newly launched JĀSÖN® Coconut Oral Care line.

Have you heard of the coconut oil swishing trend? I remember a brief period last year when Mike and I thought that swishing coconut oil in our mouths for twenty minutes once a day was going to be the thing that protected our teeth and staved off bad breath. Mike only did it for about three minutes before he determined that the task was not meant for him. I kept it up for all twenty minutes and convinced myself that it wasn’t that bad. Then I did it daily for about a week before realizing that there were way better ways to spend my time.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago when I found out about the new JĀSÖN® Coconut Oral Care line, complete with both mouth rinse and toothpaste, and I got very excited to incorporate coconut into my REGULAR oral routine. Who’s mouth has got time for twenty minutes of swishing???

After testing it out for a few weeks, I am particularly fond of their Total Protection Coconut Mouth Rinse which thee brand says helps rinse away cavity-causing sugars and bad breath, without any harsh abrasives or irritating chemicals. No scientific evidence that it lessens your need to swear, but the addition of marshmallow root helps to calm irritated gums, while mint and peppermint oil work together to leave your mouth feeling fresh.

Fresh as in the good fresh, not the bad fresh.

To celebrate the launch of the JĀSÖN® Coconut Oral Care line, they are giving away a 3-day staycation package to one grand prize winner. This includes a $1,200 hotel voucher, $500 activities voucher, and 25 JĀSÖN® products of the winner’s choosing. Ten additional winners will receive the full line of Coconut Oral Care, which includes all 4 Toothpastes and the Mouth Rinse.

You can enter here!

Just promise not to curse if you don’t win.

This post is sponsored by JĀSÖN®, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.