Every year, I put together a guide of my favorite gifts ideas for the holidays. It’s not a new concept, I know. I’m sure everyone from People Magazine to Spencer Pratt has created a holiday guide. But maybe mine will actually have something on it you haven’t thought of before.

Also, per your request, I made both the Remarkably Average Mug and the Mommy Shorts tote available for purchase! I have no idea if people will actually buy them, but they are there for you if you choose to do so. Might I say that either one (or both) would make a totally above average holiday gift when paired with “The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting?”


I got a ton of help on the guide from my old assistant Abby. In addition to having impeccable taste, she’s also young and child-free so she made sure that in addition to gifts for parents and kids, there are also gift ideas for other people just like her. If there is one thing I learned on my book tour, it’s that there is a large amount of young people who follow my blog who don’t have kids. You guys are super weird, but you should not be ignored, so I’m happy you might be able to find something on my holiday gift guide this year!

At the end of the guide, please leave a comment about which items you like the best. I’m going to be using your answers to create this month’s holiday swag bag!


1) Milk Snob Cover (doubles as a breastfeeding cover too) 2) Baby’s First Year Memory Book 3) Foreign Language Blocks 4) Sophie The Giraffe Teether 5) Fox and Finn Teething Necklace 6) Oh Joy! Backpack Diaper Bag


1) The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting 2) I Did My Best Thermal Mug 3) Shit Just Got Real Swaddle 4) Swear Word Coloring Book 5) Remarkably Average Parent Mug  6) Family Time is Hard Wine 7) Sleep is Overrated Coffee-scented Candle 8) Mommy Shorts Denim Tote


1) MZ Wallace Abbey Tote 2) Ramblerose Vegas Necklace 3) Ramblerose Velvet Chokers 4) Madewell Aviators 5) Essie Holiday Collection 6) Madewell Silk Off-the-Shoulder Top


1) LEGO Friends Amusement Park Roller Coaster 2) Jelly Belly Bean Boozled 3) American Girl of the Year: Lea Doll & Book 4) Ivy & Bean’s Secret Treasure Box chapter books 5) Zoku Ice Cream Maker 6) Descendants DVD 7) Ancheer Mini Skateboard


1) Holstein Heart Waffle Maker 2) Heart Eyes Emoji Pillow 3) American Girl Rebecca Doll & Book 4) Babiators Sunglasses 5) The Fair Doll from the Doll Kind (comes with “kindness tokens” and for each doll sold, another is donated to a child less fortunate) 6) Luvable Friends Raccoon Bathrobe  7) Cat & Jack Flower Clips


1) Pink Skies Ahead Bomber Jacket 2) Killing It Print 3) “Wine A Little” Wine Bag 4) “You Are a Badass” Book 5) Damn I’m Good Pin 6) OK Vase Set 7) You Got This! Mug


1) Pride and Prejudice Secret Kindle Cover 2) Novel Teas 3) Jane Eyre Tote (with the actual words of Jane Eyre printed on the tote to create the graphic) 4) Book of the Month Membership 5) Banned Book Socks 6) Well-Read Women Journal


1) Humans of New York Book 2) Olloclip Lens 3) Smartphone Projector 4) Snapchat Spectacles (only available at vending machines located in random places; if you see one— get one for me!) 5) LuMee Illuminated Cell Phone Case 6) Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 7) SMASHBOX Photo Finish Primer 8) Pink Letter Board (comes with 290 letters)


1) Grumpy Bowie T-shirt 2) “Player 3 Has Entered the Game” Onesie 3) Design Your Own Headphones from Seedling 4) Micro Mini Kickboard 5) Maze Builder from Seedling 6) Kid’s Electric Guitar


1) Can I Eat That? (that’s the book you always see Harlow read on Snapchat) 2) Curious Chef Kit 3) Holiday Cookie Cutters 4) Curious Chef Knife Set 5) Hape Mini Kitchen 6) You Can’t Judge a Cookie by Its Cutter (shows you how to use standard cookie cutters for out-of-the-box cookie decorations)


1) Scratch Map 2) I’m Outta Here Passport Cover 3) Anywhere Travel Guide Deck 4) Carry-On Cocktail Kit 5) Collapsible Sun Hat 6) Traveler’s Agenda


1) Lil Pyar Hot Air Balloon Mobile 2) Littlest Big Deal Print 3) Benedict the Bunny from Cuddle + Kind (each doll purchase donates 10 meals to a child in need) 4) Freshly Picked Moccasins 5) Land of Nod Whale Bank 6) Hi Baby Blanket 7) Popsicle Pouf


1) Hop Head Gift Set 2) Beer Layering Tool 3) USA Beer Cap Holder 4) Wooden Beer Caddy 5) Beeropoly


1) Threshold Bar Cart 2) Wooden Cheese Picks 3) Speak Out Game 4) Kate Spade “First Come, First Served” Pitcher 5) Marble and Wood Cheese Board 6) LMP Book Party in a Box (you can also find winter holiday party boxes)


1) Think It, Want It, Get It Water Bottle 2) Fitbit Alta Fitness Tracker 3) Ponytail Bike Helmet (with a notch cut out in the back for your ponytail) 4) Namaste Bitches Tote 5) After This We’re Getting Pizza Gym Bag 6) Magic Carpet Yoga Mat


1) Urban Decay Razor Sharp Eyeliner 2) “I Believe in Red Lipstick” Pin 3) Urban Decay Moondust Eyeshadow 4) War Paint Makeup Bag 5) Frog Prince Lipstick (use the PH of your lips to create the most flattering pink for your skin tone) 6) Kylie Cosmetics Holiday Set


1) Rad American Women A-Z 2) Barbie President and Vice President 3) Nasty Women Unite Tote 4) The Boss Mug 5) Future President Onesie 6) The Future is Female T-shirt


1) Pizza Doormat 2) Beach Tower Clock 3) NYC Poster 4) Pantone Coffee Percolator 5) No Place Like Home Pillow 6) Glass Terrarium


1) Unicorn Wall Bust 2) Unicorn Poop Rocks 3) Unicorn Phone Charger 4) Unicorn Headband 5) Unicorn Cupcake Kit


1) Brothers Artisan Grooming Kit 2) Beard Comb Kit 3) Hawk & Hatchet Candle 4) J.Crew Flannel 5) Norwegian Wood Book


1) Construction Plate & Utensil Set 2) Build Your Own Marble Skate Park 3) LIGHT STAX Illuminated Blocks 4) Bathtub Ball Track 5) GoldieBlox and the Builder’s Survival Kit

I hope you see one or two or ten ideas that work for you. Or maybe you see something you want for yourself and then by all means, forward this guide to a friend or a family member with some not-so-subtle hints in the subject line.

Remember to leave a comment below with your favorite item from the guide so I can use your answers to help create this month’s holiday swag bag giveaway!

As always, the best way to make sure you don’t miss the holiday swag is to subscribe to my newsletter.