Remember when Mike went across the street to get a cup of coffee and then waited for the corner bodega to brew a fresh pot while I was about to give birth in the lobby of our building at 2am?
Or the time I asked a first year resident to massage my ass and she slowly backed out of the room and promptly ended her medical career?
I also remember the precise moment at the hospital when I lied down, got all hooked up to the heart monitor and then was like— NOPE. Not going to do this! I’m going home…
This video from Buzzfeed Parents brought that all back and then some. Like Mike eating a fucking sandwich. What is it with soon-to-be dads and their incessant need for sandwiches???? If there is anything on earth that might distract a man from his stomach, you’d think it would be the sudden presence of his brand new baby, but again— NOPE.
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This was HILARIOUS! The morning of my 12:00pm scheduled C-Section, my husband went to the Chick-Fila drive thru … with me in the car! ASS!!!!!
The fact that he went to Chick-Fil-A is the scary part. Those folks are bigoted, hateful, and discriminatory. Nothing Christian about their nature!! Stay away!
Nummy Nummy bigot food. I’m gay and I still eat it.
Preach. When drunkenly celebrating the gay marriage ruling I was like: “Oh yes. Now I can eat Chik-Fil-A again!”
But the problem is that the food at Chick-Fil-A is sooooooo good! Politics stops at the tastebuds. (And besides, their billboard ads are hilarious.)
Uninvited guests, food all around me and LAUGHTER. WHO THE HELL GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO LAUGH WHILE I’M IN PAIN?! Pretty sure they had death wishes.
The morning we were going in to the hospital for our (my wife’s) scheduled induction, we stopped for a solid breakfast to bring with. The doctor had told us to do so at our last appointment – she pointed out that we didn’t know at that point how long it would be until we got to eat again. And she was right, 24 hours later of being hooked to the IV, we (she) went in for a C-section. It was the next morning before she could really eat because of the anesthetic. So 48 hours between meals is quite enough.
My first kid was 5 days late, so we really didn’t expect our second to be 3 1/2 weeks early. But on our way home from the city (we live in a suburb of DC), I absolutely knew I was in labor. Despite this and the fact that my contractions were getting less than 3 minutes apart, my husband decided he needed to make himself a sandwich before we went to the hospital. Meanwhile, I’m swaying in the living room while trying to shoo away my toddler. His response, “Last time, it took ten hours! I’m going to be hungry.” As it turned out, I gave birth about a half-hour later, 15 minutes after getting to the hospital. “I’m going to be hungry,” my ass.
My husband couldn’t be beside me at the beggining of my emercy c-section because he tried to get in the operation room with his breakfast sandwich and juice…
I had an emergency C-section 5 weeks early. I am strapped down hands out and can’t see a thing. After the first cut my husband looks over the sheet and exclaims, “You look just like a piece of meat!”. Then once the baby comes out, and I can hear him cry feebly my sister come around the curtain and with big tears in her eyes, tells me in a stuttering voice the ” he…….has……an….enormous……big toe!” Granted, he did, and still does.
We stopped on the way to the hospital so my husband (now ex husband) could get a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. My contractions were only 2 and a half minutes apart so we had time, right? At the hospital, since it was about midnight, he decides to sleep on the couch but first he needed to take out his contacts. Ooops, no wetting solution or container. He wanders the nursing stations looking for someone who has some but no luck. He left the hospital to go to a nearby all night drug store then comes back and stands over me eating Tootsie Rolls and Combos. Finally he lays down again, only to repeatedly get up to go smoke. Early morning and still no baby brings another departure to go find more coffee. Nurses come in and start buzzing around me with some concern. It seems there is a problem with my son’s oxygen level and his heart rate would drop with every contraction. I ask someone to please locate my husband. They had to page him! The doctor arrives and is getting ready to quickly perform a forceps delivery when my husband finally strolls in from the cafeteria where he had been enjoying his coffee away from the noise and bustle of the delivery room. I’m so glad all those birthing classes we went through paid off!!! Ha!!!!
Was in hospital
Was in the hospital for a wk. The morning I was delivering my first born nurses said it was going to be a long day. My mom and now ex show up with a feast of menudo, pancakes hash browns sausage ect ect. I sat across the room throwing daggers with my eyes eating my flavorless jello.
Third kid and a few minutes before we arrive at the hospital, my husband insists on stopping for a pack of gum. I’m in horrific pain and he wants fresh breath? He got his gum and I never let him forget that dumb idea!