Ready or not, it’s time to dust off your kid’s backpack and get ready for school to start up again. You’ll need to say goodbye to summer’s slower schedule, the lack of homework, and the ability to leave your house without stuffing your kids into 87 layers of scarves and coats.

If the thought of prying your kids out of bed at the crack of dawn to race them to the bus stop doesn’t sound appealing, just remember there are lots of things about summer that aren’t that appealing either. Ready to get excited for fall?

1) Pee in the Pool. Ever waded into a suspiciously warm spot in the pool? Or asked your little fish if he had to go to the bathroom and he said something like “I don’t have to go — I just went.” Nope, not in October you didn’t.

2) Ill-fitting Swimsuits. If you’re one of those confident, self-actualized women who can parade around in the same bikini you wore in your 20s, good on ya! But please excuse the rest of us while we celebrate hanging up our swim skirts and sad little cover-ups in favor of oversized sweaters.

3) Outdoor Creatures. “Cool, a snake! Can we keep him?” Uh, for the 856th time, NO.

4) The Ice Cream Man. Why does this guy always drive through our neighborhood right before dinner? And stalk me at all my kids’ favorite spots? Always playing his evil little jingle to alert my children to the fact that they have horrible parents who deprive them of everything good. If I want to get my kids ice cream, I can take them to an ice cream shop of my own volition, thank you very much.

5) Humidity. MY HAIR CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!

6) Sunscreen Application. Kids act like sunscreen is the worst thing they could possibly endure, not realizing that’s precisely because THEY HAVE NEVER HAD A SUNBURN. You know what’s easier than blending impossibly thick white lotion into a moving target? Dressing your kid in a coat and balaclava.

7) Inflatable Toys. Save your breath for more important things. Like complaining you’re still finding sand in your minivan next spring.

8) Splinters. Wooden decks and bare feet do not make the most harmonious combination and if there’s one thing kids hate, it’s when parents attack their feet with lit matches and tweezers. I can’t really blame them. No one ever got a splinter in the snow. Especially while they were wearing socks and boots.

9) Excessive Band Aid Usage. With bikes back in the garage and knees getting the full coverage they deserve, your current band aid distribution rate of 16 Hello Kitties per minute should make a sharp decline. Unless your child is still in the invisible boo-boo stage, in which case you should probably buy a few more boxes.

10) Bees. Oh yes, picnicking in the grass is lovely. Until the killer bees catch wind of your fruit and cheese plate. “Don’t worry, they won’t sting” is your most popular lie this summer. Especially as you stifle the urge to squeal like a baby and run indoors.

11) Mosquito Bites. Finally, an 8-month break from frantically Googling West Nile symptoms.

12) Checking for Ticks. OMG CAN WE JUST STOP BEING OUTDOORS ALREADY?

13) Sand. It is impossible to go to the beach and not track sand back into your house. Even if that beach is two hours away from your home. And I don’t care how many times I’ve gotten up in the middle of the night to wipe off the sheets, THERE IS STILL SAND IN MY BED.

14) Beach Chairs. If I have to lug one more awkwardly folded beach chair across the sand with an oversized beach bag balancing on one arm and a toddler complaining of hot sand dangling over the other, I WILL LEAVE THOSE CHAIRS AT THE BEACH.

15) Boredom. This affliction is the bane of every mom’s existence and seems to rear its ugly head a lot more in the unstructured days of July and August. What should you tell a child who dares to utter the words “I’m bored”?

“Don’t worry. Soon you’ll have lots of homework to keep you busy.”

What else won’t you miss about summer?

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This post was written by Robyn Welling from Hollow Tree Ventures.

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