I didn’t think parents in the 70s and 80s could do many more illegal things than the photos I featured in “41 Photos that would Get Our Parents Arrested if They Were Taken Today“, but I was wrong. There are 57 more things. AT LEAST.
Let’s hope this one doesn’t break my site too.
HERE ARE 57 MORE THINGS OUR PARENTS DID THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOTALLY ILLEGAL:
1) They let us run down the road barefoot
2) They trapped us in playpens
3) They trapped us in playpens they put together without reading the instructions
4) They balanced our birthday cakes on a six pack of Coors
5) They sent us out in the lake by ourselves on a raft that wasn’t fully inflated
6) They fell asleep while trying to drink a beer and hold us at the same time
7) They thought burying us in sand was better than sunscreen
8) They thought serving three kids at a bar in their basement was a perfect way to spend a Saturday night
9) They thought smoking was fine as long as it was supervised
10) They helped us drink beer from a mug
11) They helped us drink beer from a can
12) They helped us drink beer straight from the bottle (presumably as a rite of passage at our first birthday party)
13) They congratulated themselves when we learned to drink beer all on our own
14) They thought it was safe to check underneath a tractor while leaving a toddler at the controls
15) They let us dive into one foot of water
16) They thought our older sister’s lap made an excellent carseat
17) They thought an empty PBR box made an excellent hat
18) They thought attaching a sled to a motorcycle by a long rope in a heavily wooded area was an acceptable winter activity
19) They turned our backs to us while we drank beer on the edge of a rocky cliff
20) They let us take a nap above the seat in the back car window
21) They let us take a nap in the front seat next to a shotgun and a dead bird
22) They let us have slumber parties in the trunk of the station wagon
23) They let us celebrate New Year’s EVE properly
24) They let us go paragliding in a parachute ten sizes too big
25) They trapped us in a glass house with a lion
26) They made us put our arms around a caged bear
27) They forced us to pet the ass of a full grown tiger
28) The let us ride on the back of a killer whale
29) They let us hang out in the ring during a thai kick boxing match
30) They let us unwind by ourselves after a rough day at school
31) They thought a middle hump and a seatbelt around the elbow was all the car safety we needed
32) They cut our hair with one hand while holding a baby in the other
33) They balanced our car seat on the back of a harley
34) They balanced our carseat on the back of a tractor and let our older sister drive it
35) They redesigned the basement to be the perfect watering hole for preschoolers
36) They taught us how to play poker
37) They let us build our own soapbox cars and ride in them without helmets
38) They got us drunk so they’d have free entertainment at their lawn parties
39) They thought three was old enough to shoot a gun
40) They put their liquor on the kitchen counter with a handy step stool to make sure it was easily accessible
41) They put us in bouncer seats very close to the edge of the table
42) They put us in bouncer seats on top of the stove
43) They started us on orange juice at four weeks
44) They let us use a pack of cigarettes as a teether
45) They took us rock climbing
46) They told us to “Smile for the Marijuana!”
47) They used a heineken box as a baby carrier
48) They put a garbage bag in a Miller box and used it as a kiddie pool
49) They thought the perfect place for their gun rack was hanging above the crib
50) They were not concerned about second hand smoke
51) They took us to parties at the Playboy Mansion
52) They thought medieval torture made for fun tourist attractions
53) They let us ride on a couch on top of a car
54) They let us cook while sitting on top of the stove barefoot without a potholder in sight
55) They forgot to babyproof the axe
56) They took us home from the hospital sitting in their laps in the front seat
57) They eased the pain of pregnancy with a stiff drink and a smoke
If you have more photos, please submit them to the Mommy Shorts Facebook page!
Obviously, the rules and regulations that went into place since the 70s and 80s have been for very good reason and because of very real accidents, but hopefully the lesson here is that we can all relax a bit and our kids will probably still turn out okay.
That doesn’t mean I want my kids to go on living without their Miracle 360° Cups. Those things have saved my sanity and my couch! Here are 17 innovative Munchkin products I know for a fact my mother wishes were around when she was raising me.
1) White Hot® Infant Spoons 2) Day & Night Light Musical Auto Mirror 3) Click Lock® Bite Proof Sippy Cup 4) Arm & Hammer™ Diaper Pail by Munchkin 5) Mist™ Wipe Warmer 6) Miracle 360° Cup 7) Click Lock® Weighted Flexi-Straw Cup 8) Lulla-Vibe™ Vibrating Pad 9) Click Lock® Super Suction Bowl 10) Grippy Dots 11) White Hot® Sun Safety Shades 12) LATCH™ 4oz Bottle 13) Deluxe Fresh Food Feeder 14) LATCH™ Heartbeat Pacifier with Clip 15) Click Lock® Deluxe Snack Catcher® 16) Auto Close Designer Gate 17) White Hot® Bowls.
Although, a baby gate isn’t going to help a dad that thinks it’s okay to throw their kid inside a cage with a live bear. If the nine-year-old girl who submitted that photo has kids today, I seriously hope she accompanies grandpa to the zoo.
Speaking of Munchkin products, it’s time to give out the last three $100 Munchkin gift cards to three more winners who submitted photos to the #whenweweremunchkins contest.
THE Last THREE WINNERS are:
This kid who loves to drink and drive…
These kids who like playing with metal tipped lawn darts…
And this kid who is really right at home with his cigarette, lighter and ashtray…
Congratulations! You’re parents were careless enough to earn you big prizes! Please contact email@example.com to claim them.
Thank you to everybody for submitting their awesome photos and thank you to Munchkin for being the inspiration for my most viewed post of all time!
If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox?
This post was sponsored by Munchkin but all thoughts and opinions are my own. Munchkin rids the world of the mundane by developing clever, innovative solutions that make family life safer, easier, and more fun. You can find Munchkin products at Munchkin.com, Target, Babies’R’Us, Walmartand Amazon. It’s the little things!